Here We Are
by starvingstudent
Summary: Follow Meredith and Derek through the ups and downs, and happiness and tears of their first months and years of marriage.
1. 1 Month after the wedding

_**AN: Here is the third instalment in my What I'm Here For series, following WIHF and SH, but would probably be fine to read if you haven't read the first two. This fic will be lighter than the first two, covering a longer time period as Meredith and Derek work through their first few weeks and months of marriage. Hope you enjoy!**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing and have no affiliations with Grey's Anatomy. I am simply borrowing these wonderful characters for my own entertainment.**_

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"It's...uhm...unique?"

Cristina scoffed. "Nice try, Barbie. We all know it's hideous."

"It's not hideous," Izzy retorted, but her tone told the truth; it was hideous and she knew it.

"How about you give up the whole glass-half-full lifestyle choice for once and tell it like it is. It's the reject of all rejects; the ugly duckling's freaking cast-off. Something Sydney Herron may actually have a negative to say about."

Meredith giggled. "Actually, Sydney may like this..."

Izzy made a face. "I don't see how anyone could like this. Seriously."

An uncharacteristic smile lit up Cristina's features. "See; I knew you could be like a real person. It just took two freaking years to get you there."

"Shut up," Izzy shot back, glaring at her roommate.

A second giggle escaped Meredith's lips as she shook her head at her friends. Izzy and Cristina had been 'roomies' for a whole year now. And hadn't stopped arguing the entire time. It almost made her wonder if arguing was a necessity for them both, and having each other allowed them to be relatively psychologically healthy apart from it. "You two are horrible," she said, raising her beer bottle for a long sip.

Cristina shrugged, uncaring, and followed suit by lifting her bottle in a mock toast before downing the remainder of her beer.

"We're not horrible," Izzy retorted. "Well, fine, she is," she said, motioning towards Cristina. "But I'm not."

"Oh, right, you're just a poster child for perfection."

"I'm more perfect for you."

"Whatever; my definition of perfect doesn't include driving your roommates crazy with your excessive cleaning, baking, decorating, bright-and-cheerfulness..."

Izzy snorted. "Yeah, well, _my_ definition of perfect doesn't include...you."

Meredith erupted into a torrent of giggles. "I gotta agree with you, Iz."

Her best friend glared at her. "Perfect is boring. It means there's no room for improvement. And I'm always improving."

"She's got a point," Meredith agreed, sending a sympathetic glance towards Izzy.

Cristina nodded emphatically. "If you agree with me, does that mean you'll get me another beer?" She held out her empty bottle from her half-splayed position on the couch.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Get your own beer. I'm comfy." And she was comfortable, curled up on the reclining chair she and Derek had purchased a year before. Izzy was sitting up against the arm of the short couch, her long legs just fitting within the width of the piece of furniture. All three were drinking. All three were supposed to be working.

"You're a crappy host, you know," Cristina muttered, swinging her legs over the edge of the couch and staggering into a sitting position.

"It's not a freaking dinner party."

Cristina cracked a second smile. "You've never striked me as the dinner party type."

"Me neither," Izzy jumped in.

"Wow, you two actually agreed on something," Meredith retorted, rolling her eyes. "And I know I should be offended that you're attacking my lack of domestic skills and all, but I can't bring myself to care all that much."

"It's the alcohol!" Cristina called from the kitchen.

"And speaking of your domestic skills," Izzy began, "Weren't we supposed to be doing something tonight? Like packing?"

"We packed."

Izzy snorted. "Like three boxes."

"Two and a half," Cristina corrected, dropping back down onto the couch, a fresh beer in hand. She motioned widely with her arm at the three boxes by the edge of the living room. One was packed and sealed – a product of Izzy's enthusiasm. One was packed, but not sealed – a product of Meredith's loss of interest when Izzy got the tape first. And one was half full of a few random objects tossed into it unceremoniously – a product of Cristina's...Cristina-ness.

"Whatever. But seriously, Mer, we were supposed to pack. You promised Derek we would pack."

Meredith couldn't help the smile that sprung to her lips at the mere mention of her husband's name. Derek; her husband of one whole month. "He won't care. In fact, he didn't expect us to get anything done anyway." Even though Cristina and Izzy were only over that night under the guise of packing, Derek laughed at her before she had left the hospital that afternoon. He had been on his way into surgery when she had told him her plans, but had paused for long enough to tell her he didn't believe her for a second that anything would get done.

Cristina nodded with approval. "That's my idea of a husband; no unrealistic expectations."

Meredith mock-glared at her best friend and pointed an unsteady finger. "Back off. He's my McDreamy."

Cristina rolled her eyes. "See, now I know you're drunk."

Meredith laughed. "Just a little."

"Me too."

"Me three," Izzy piped up.

"Cheers to that," Cristina called, and the three off-duty surgeons held up their drinks in unison.

After a long swallow Meredith sighed heavily and returned her attention to the offensive object sitting on her coffee table. "So, what do I do with...that?"

Cristina shrugged. "Smash it."

"You can't smash it," Izzy countered. "It was a gift. A wedding gift. It's not appropriate to smash it."

"It's also not appropriate to give someone something even remotely similar to that as a wedding gift. Or any gift for that matter."

Izzy hesitated, torn between her agreement with her roommate and her principles. "Still..."

"It can't come with me," Meredith said. "I am not having something like that in my new house. We could leave it here for the new people as a welcome gift."

"First of all, that _thing_ is hardly a gift. It would send the new people running in horror. And what if they have children? They'll be scarred for life."

"And second," Cristina added, "You're new _house_ is hardly a house..."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Okay, so it's not a house. But it's a home."

Her best friend groaned. "God, now he's gone and made you into an after school special. I need a new person."

"You just don't get it."

"That _was_ pretty corny, Mer," Izzy cut in, supporting her roommate.

"Okay, seriously, you two are freaking me out. You've agreed on like three things in the last ten minutes."

"Oh, and you're not freaking us out?" Cristina countered. "You got married out of nowhere-"

"Hey. We were engaged for months. We just planned the wedding in a week."

"Less than a week."

"Close enough."

Cristina shook her head. "Not going for it. You got married out of nowhere. You're all giddy about be part of Shepherd's McFamily-"

"I am so _not_ giddy. I'm Meredith. I don't do giddy."

"You're all about talking to your new sisters all the time," Cristina continued, ignoring her best friend's protests. "You smile too much for a sane person. And now you're letting _McDreamy_ move you out into the middle of nowhere to live in a tin can."

"It's a trailer. And it's only for a few months until our house is finished. There's no point in getting a new place for just a few months when we have the trailer."

"Oh! And you've mentioned on more than one occasion that you will be carrying the spawn of McDreamy one day."

Meredith raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? The spawn of McDreamy? That sounds like a really bad horror movie."

"Whatever. The point is that you're freaking me out."

"I'm happy. _I _am happy; though I can see how happiness is such an alien emotion to you."

"God, next you're going to go on about how you're living the dream..."

Meredith smirked. "I _am_ living the dream," she said with a laugh.

Cristina rolled her eyes, but Izzy spoke up before she got a chance. "Yeah, Cristina, the dream. You know; the one where girl meets and marries dreamy, rich doctor boy and goes to live with him in a trailer in the middle of nowhere?"

"Where dreamy, rich doctor boy turns out to be an axe murderer and kills her with a shovel?"

Meredith scoffed as her two best friends laughed at her. "You just don't get it," she mumbled.

"Get what?" A very familiar and welcome male voice called out from behind her.

Meredith sat upright and twisted her body to peer over the back of the chair. She hadn't even heard him come in. "The dream."

Derek smiled warmly at her as he stepped around the chair to stop at her side, nodding a greeting to Cristina and Izzy. "What dream?"

"Exactly our point," Cristina said, causing herself and Izzy to laugh.

Derek raised an eyebrow and turned an expectant glance towards his wife. Meredith glared at him. "You're not helping."

The corners of his lips twitched as he moved closer and set himself down onto the arm rest beside her. "I don't even know what's going on. How could I possibly be 'not helping' already?"

"You just are...or aren't, or...whatever."

Cristina smirked at Derek. "At least she wears the pants in this relationship."

Derek slid off the arm rest to sit beside Meredith on the seat of the chair, wrapping his arm tightly around her and smirking right back at Cristina. "She does wear the pants, but I'm good at getting her out of them. I have plenty of practice..."

"Derek!" Meredith hissed, swiping a hand at him.

He laughed and caught her hand, using it as leverage to pull her closer. "I love you," he whispered as he pressed his lips against her temple.

She relaxed in his arms and smiled to herself. "I love you too."

Cristina made a pained noised in her throat. "Seriously. If I wasn't too drunk to drive right now, I'd have to go home. I can't stand this anymore; the lovey-dovey newlywed crap. When does it end? When do you realize marriage is stupid and definitely not worth torturing me over?"

Meredith felt her husband tense slightly beside her, but she laughed, signalling him to calm down. She was well used to her best friend's antics. Cristina had a documented history of speaking before thinking and ranting about anything and everything, and it may have taken a while, but Meredith had come to the realization that she couldn't take these spontaneous rants with more than a grain of salt. "Oh, I don't know," she said coyly, pulling Derek's arm around her middle as she burrowed deeper into his chest. "Ask me in fifty years."

Cristina made a strained noise.

Izzy smiled. "I think it's sweet."

"See, I have Izzy's support."

"Everything with a pulse has Izzy's support."

Izzy scoffed and threw a box of tissue at her roommate. Cristina retorted with a series of comments.

Meredith shook her head and turned her attention to Derek. "They worry me," she mumbled.

He chuckled. "They're _your_ family," he reminded.

She smirked. "And they're your family now, too."

He was quiet for a moment, his chest heaving ever so slightly more with each breath. "So, I see you got tons accomplished," he eventually said, sarcasm heavy in his tone. "We'll totally be ready to move out by the end of the week." Their lease was up and they were going to move the majority of their belongings into storage for the few months they would live in the trailer. Movers were coming on Friday.

She shrugged before leaning her head against his shoulder. "We packed," she said, waving a hand towards the three boxes across the room. "We were just taking a break."

"So, fifteen minutes of work followed by a three hour break?"

She smiled. "Pretty much."

"That's quite the work ethic you've got there. Seriously, Meredith, you're going to make an excellent surgeon."

She elbowed him in the gut, and smiled when he tensed beside her and moved to block her from further attacks. He had long since learned that her fists may well be ineffectual, but her elbows were lethal. "So," she prompted. "What were you doing while I was busy packing?"

"I was in surgery," he reminded her. "My patient came through just fine and-" His voice cut off as his body tensed. "What the hell is that?"

Meredith craned her neck to follow his gaze, which landed on the hideous bowl still sitting on the coffee table. "Oh, that," she said nonchalantly. "Remember the card from the post office that we got yesterday? We picked it up on our way here after work, and finally gave up waiting for you to get home an hour ago and opened it."

He made a face. "But...what is it?"

"It's a wedding gift from your cousin. Were you mean to her growing up or something?"

He chortled. "Depends which cousin we're talking about."

"Sherry. That's your Aunt Alice's daughter, right?" Meredith had met a ton of family members on his side, but his side was still huge and there were a number of cousins she hadn't yet been introduced to. She had actually met less that she hadn't met...and those were only first cousins.

"That's right," he murmured. "The second oldest. And I was never meant to her."

"Then what did you do to piss her off?" Cristina asked, rejoining their conversation.

"Nothing. She obviously thought this was a thoughtful gift."

Try as she might, Meredith could not help the laughter that spilled from her lungs in a quick, short burst. "I'm sorry, Derek, but there is no way anyone could think that would be a good gift. It's horrible." The bowl was large, noticeably not all that round and it's sides were not smooth, but rough, overly textured _and_ badly patterned. Its colours didn't match, weren't compatible and only served to make each one more unsightly than normal.

"Blind people can tell it's hideous."

Izzy nodded her agreement with her roommate. "Comatose people can tell it's ugly."

Derek sighed. "So, what do we do with it?"

Meredith shrugged. "I am not having that thing in my home. And apparently it would be scarring to leave it as a welcome gift for the people who move in here."

"They'd probably think it was some omen of foreboding danger."

Derek laughed at this. "We could try and return it," he suggested.

"Where?" She asked. "There's no receipt or tag. Plus, I can't even imagine how any store took credit for this in the first place. I sincerely doubt we could get them to reaccept it after they managed to get rid of it."

"Maybe they paid your cousin to take it?" Izzy suggested.

"Or maybe it's a practical joke?" Cristina added. "Something that ugly has to at least serve a purpose."

"It looks like someone took a hammer to a bunch of really ugly bowls and then made this to cover for them, like out of embarrassment..." Meredith said.

"But it backfired when this monstrosity was the result," Derek finished.

There was a roar of approving laughter from the girls. "Monstrosity. I love it. It fits perfectly."

Meredith shook her head at her best friend's enthusiasm. "So, what are our options?"

"The thing's on life support. It's time to pull the plug."

"There's no hope."

"All the reconstructive work in the world wouldn't do it any good."

"Oh!" Meredith said suddenly. "Reconstructive. We could give it to Mark; for his new apartment." The plastic surgeon had finally moved out of the Archfield and into a loft in the city. She and Derek had only been there once, and had been taken aback by the emptiness of Mark's new home. Minimal furniture. Minimal decorations. Minimal personal effects.

Derek shook his head. "He'd never forgive us."

"So we do it anonymously." She giggled. "We could leave a note saying it's from a secret admirer." Izzy and Cristina nodded their agreement.

Derek chuckled and pressed his lips against hers for a long moment.

"I like the way you think, Mrs. Shepherd."

"Dr. Shepherd," she corrected.

"God," Cristina groaned. "Here we go again."


	2. Moving on to smaller things

Meredith was surprised to feel tears stinging the backs of her eyes as she stood in the empty living room of the apartment she had spent the last year of her life in. She had never expected to be so emotionally attached to a place of residence, but here she was blinking back tears at the realization that she would never again set foot in this apartment; would never again call it home.

Moving into the apartment with Derek a year before had been a milestone for her; the first big step she had initiated towards happiness. They had gone through stressful month after stressful month without any breaks in between. So many things had fallen apart between them, but they had somehow managed to get back on track. And a long overdue discussion had led to a new outlook on life and love for her, which had led to her suggesting a shared residence.

A concept he hadn't hesitated to accept.

The past year had been filled with more pain, happiness and progress than many would experience in a decade. Her father had nearly shattered her. But Derek had been there the whole time, and she had learned to allow herself to trust him fully; to rely on him when she needed to. And in the eleventh month of the past twelve she had taken the step that she had never dreamt herself of taking until recently. She and Derek had finally gotten married, and on their wedding day she had been nothing but happy. There had been no regrets, no worries and no second thoughts. When she had awoken that morning – alone, because Derek's sisters really believed in the whole groom not seeing the bride before the wedding thing – she had known she was doing the right thing. The first half of the day had been filled with slight nervousness and anticipation. And the moment she had caught sight of Derek waiting for her at the altar and had met his eyes, she had realized that her whole life had been leading up to that point.

Quiet footsteps padded across the floor behind her, and she didn't have to turn to know they belonged to her husband. The footsteps came to a stop behind her and his strong arms encircled her waist. She sighed and leaned back against Derek's strong chest, taking comfort in his warm and comforting presence.

"I'm sad too," he whispered into her hair.

Meredith entwined her fingers with his and sighed. "It's weird, because I'm glad we're leaving, because that leads to the dream house and lifetime and everything, but... I'm still sad to be leaving."

"It was our first home."

"It was."

"And now we're downgrading to a trailer," he added with a smirk.

She giggled. "All of my friends have been torturing me this week. They think I've gone mental."

"Maybe you have," he said lightly.

"I have not."

"That's exactly what you would say if you had gone mental," he pointed out. "People who have gone mental don't think they've gone mental; they think they're perfectly normal."

She snorted. "Well, I know I'm far from perfectly normal, so we're safe there."

His chest hitched as he broke into laughter behind her. "You're perfect to me."

Meredith scoffed. "That is so not true. You make fun of me all the freaking time."

"I do not."

"You do so. You tell me I snore. I don't put the cap back on the toothpaste tightly enough. I move your hair product around too often. I don't drive your care well enough. I'm not allowed to cook. I-"

"First of all, you _do_ snore, You rarely put the cap on the toothpaste at all, I can _never_ find my stuff in the bathroom, you're no longer allowed to drive my car, it's not that you're not allowed to cook, but that you _can't_ cook... _And_ perfection is in the imperfections that make you _you_."

She rolled her eyes, knowing he would know she was doing it, even though he couldn't see it. "Does that mean you don't want me to put the lid of the toothpaste on tighter? Or that I'm allowed to use the kitchen, or drive your car?"

His silence said it all. She smirked, taking silent triumph in her victory.

"I love you," she whispered.

He dipped his head to kiss the crook of her neck. "I love you more."

"We've been through this, Derek. I won."

"Just because you said that in your vows doesn't mean you won. We've got seventy-two more years to argue about this."

"Seventy-two?"

"Mmm-hmm. I'm thirty-eight and I plan on dying in your arms when I'm a hundred and ten. Therefore, we've got seventy-two years left to debate it."

"Not that I'm all about you going first, even if I will be a hundred and two, but if you do go first, that leaves me with the last word."

"Can we talk about something a little less morbid?"

"You brought it up."

"I meant it in a romantic way."

"Know who you married," she retorted.

He chuckled and she felt him kiss the back of her head. "Point taken."

With a giggle, she pulled his arms tighter around her middle. Though she still had moments where she found it hard to believe that they were actually married, she knew without a doubt at all times that he really and truly knew her. He knew all the good and all the bad, all the fears, and all the hopes and dreams. And most importantly, he accepted all of it, good and bad. And he loved her for it all.

She sighed contentedly in his arms as she stared around the room that had been fully furnished and lived in only a week before. If she tried to, she could still picture the living room set and entertainment unit set up in the living room. And the mahogany dining room table, chairs and hutch that had sat across the apartment in the open dining room. And the table and chairs in the kitchen, along with pots and pan and dishes. And every other piece of furniture or household item that now sat in storage, awaiting the completion of their house. "I'm going to miss this place," she whispered.

"Me too."

"It was the first place I've ever had that felt remotely like a home, you know?"

Reaching his chin forward, he rested it on her shoulder, his cheek pressed up against hers. He had shaved the night before, but she could feel stubble pressing against her skin. "You'll never be without a home again, Mer, I promise you. This isn't the end of it; we're just moving on to bigger and better things."

She giggled, ignoring the swelling of her heart at his tender promise. "Actually, we're moving on to _smaller_ things."

"The trailer is temporary."

"Try telling my friends that."

"We'll have our house in less than four months." It was the very end of July now, and they had been promised their completed dream house before the end of November.

"Our house..." She whispered.

"Sounds good, huh?"

"Sounds wonderful." Meredith couldn't help the smile that took over her lips at the thought, especially at the realization that not so long ago in her life the idea of building a house to spend a lifetime in with the man she loved would have sent her running for the hills. Because not so long ago in her life things like forever and lifetimes and love didn't exist.

Derek sighed and squeezed her hands. "We should get going soon..."

"I know," she said quietly, but made no move to actually go. The plan was to leave as early as possible, to get to the trailer before dark. They had already moved most of their belongings there, but still needed to unpack the essentials they had kept at the apartment for their last night.

"It was a good home," he whispered, and her heart ached at the tone of his voice. He was hurting too – she could feel it through his chest – but he knew she was hurting more, and was going to do everything he could to make this better for her, to make it easier. He wouldn't rush her, even if it meant driving out to the trailer in the dark.

"It was," she agreed quietly. "It really was." She stood still for several moments before taking a deep, cleansing breath and turning in his arms, knowing she had to be strong for him too. He wouldn't ever look for comfort or support if he thought she needed it more. Offering him a warm smile, she hooked her arms around his neck. "We always knew it was temporary; just the first step towards our house."

His hands found her hips and he nodded. "Mmm-hmm."

She sighed and leaned into his strong chest, breathing in his comforting scent as she buried her nose in the fabric of his shirt. "It was a good home," she finally said, her voice muffled against him. "But, and this is without sounding corny and pathetic, it was only home because you were here. And wherever we live will be home."

His face broke out into a full fledged McDreamy smile. "It's not pathetic," he reassured, "But it is a little corny."

"Shut up." She leaned back in his arms and swiped a hand across his chest in response to his mocking tone. "All the corniness is your fault. I get it from you."

Closing his arms around her, he pulled her close and pressed his lips against hers. "My home is where you are too, Meredith," he said when he pulled away. "And it always will be."

Despite his laughing eyes and mocking tone, Meredith knew without a doubt that he was being honest, and her heart ached with the love she felt for him in that moment. "Which will be a trailer for the next four months..." She mocked back. Because it was what they did; they joked and mocked each other. It was comforting for them both.

He smirked and nodded. "Yes, it will. We'll be in close quarters," he purred, "Which means we'll be able to spend lots and lots of _quality_ time together."

Meredith giggled. "I think you mean naked time."

He kissed her again, quickly. "That too."

She rolled her eyes. "What am I going to do with you?"

He smirked. "I can think of a few things..."

"You're incorrigible."

"You're irresistible," he countered.

Meredith raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

He nodded.

"Well, then, you better get me home so we can spend some of that quality time together tonight..."

"Happy to." He kissed her once more. "Are you ready?"

She smiled at his concerned tone, and her heart swelled with the knowledge that he loved her as much as she loved him. "I think so. You?"

His gaze left hers and wandered across the space behind her before coming back to her eyes. "I think so, too."

She turned her head for one last look at the first real home she had ever had, and then reached for his hand. "Let's go."

He smiled and squeezed her fingers in his, allowing her to lead him to the door.

000

Hours later, the happily married couple of a little more than a month lay naked and exhausted in each other's arms, under the covers, in a small trailer on a large plot of land, their breathing slowly coming back down to normal.

"You know," he began, his voice warm and husky, causing goose bumps to erupt across her body in the darkness, "If that's what quality time in this trailer means, I think we should live here forever."

She giggled and burrowed closer in his arms. "Yeah, because that won't give my friends the material to torture me for the rest of my life..."

"What, that you'll live in a trailer forever because of the amazing sex with your dreamy husband?"

Meredith snorted. "I was only going for the living in a trailer forever part..."

He pressed his lips against the top of her head, which was lying on his chest, and chuckled. "I really do love you, you know?"

"I know."

His hand rubbed up and down along her spine for a minute before he spoke again. "Isn't there something you wanted to say?"

"Hmm?"

"I told you I loved you, and all you said was 'I know.'"

She raised her head off of his chest to meet his eyes. "No, you asked me if I knew that you loved me, and I said I did."

He growled. "Still..."

Meredith smirked. "You really need me to tell you?"

He gave her a look.

She giggled. "It's not implied?"

"It is implied. It's just nice to hear ever once in a while too..."

"Every once in a while?" She challenged. "Derek, seriously, I say it ten times a day."

"Well, then, I say it eleven times a day."

She giggled again and reached her upper body along her husband's to press her still swollen lips against his. "I love you, Derek," she said softly when she pulled away and resettled against him. "I really, really do."

He chuckled and closed his arms around her. "There, was that so hard?"

With a sigh, she tilted her head upwards to meet his eyes again. "You know what?"

"What?"

"I've discovered something new about you today."

He smiled. "What's that?"

"That even though you act all confident and smirk-y, you're just as insecure as I am."

He chortled at her mocking tone. "I'm just hiding my pain," he said easily, echoing the words he had spoken so long ago.

She giggled. "And yet, you still really like yourself..."


	3. Of six week anniversaries

Meredith yawned as she stumbled into the resident locker room. Although she had had the previous day off, it had been anything but restful – which was most likely due to the fact that her husband had also had the day off, and that they lived in a small trailer in the middle of nowhere. Their shared free time coupled with their small home had led to them spending the last week and a half spending lots and lots of _quality_ time together.

Now, from what Meredith understood, being newlyweds entitled them to spending plenty of _quality_ time together. However, most newlyweds weren't surgeons, and therefore had more free time allotted, allowing for sex _and_ sleep. And even though Meredith vowed every day that she would get more sleep, all she had to do was meet Derek's eyes – or touch his hair, or see his body, or smell his scent, or hear his voice – and she was reduced to a needy, wanting newly married pile of a wife who wanted her husband. And her husband never complained.

Not that he would, she reasoned with a huff. _He_ didn't have anything scheduled until ten that morning, leaving himself several more hours of sleep than his wife, who had to be in at six for rounds. A wife who, at this very moment, was vowing to go home and sleep that night, even though she knew it was a lost cause.

"Morning," she mumbled as she caught sight of Cristina and Izzy already in the locker room, getting changed into their scrubs.

Her best friend mumbled something incoherent in her direction, expressing her greeting, her unhappiness with the early hour and her severe dislike of her roommate's cheerful morning attitude all in one disgruntled expression.

"Morning Meredith!" Izzy said brightly as she pulled her scrub top over her head. As soon as it was on, she bounded over to Meredith and pulled her into a sudden, tight hug.

"Oh, I...are we hugging in the morning now?" Meredith stumbled out, debating whether or not to make a snarky comment about their new chief resident. Doctor Victor Harris had been appointed the job at the beginning of the new surgical year, in the first week of July. He had many of the qualities of a stereotypical gay man, but was seeing a woman. And, despite his easygoing and affectionate nature, quirky teaching style and competitive edge, he absolutely despised Sydney Herron, with whom he shared so many traits. "Is this a new Harris rule?"

Cristina snorted. "You mean the he-Herron? He-Herron Harris?"

Meredith giggled and turned her attention back to her old roommate, who still had yet to release her. "Uh, Iz, are you okay?"

Izzy smiled at her and nodded. "Of course. I just wanted to wish you a happy six week anniversary!"

Meredith stuttered. "A...what?"

Izzy shot her an incredulous look. "You and Derek got married exactly six weeks ago today," she said brightly. "So, happy anniversary."

Meredith exchanged a quick glance with Cristina, who offered nothing but a sarcastic smirk, and met Izzy's eyes again. "I thought an anniversary was a year thing?"

"Well, traditionally it is, but you can celebrate as many as you want, and you should; especially in the first year."

"Oh, God," Meredith muttered under her breath, wondering how many attack hugs she would be enduring from her exuberant friend in the next forty-six weeks. "So, uh, six weeks is an important one?"

"I think what she meant was it's you, Mer," Cristina spoke up, fully dressed in her scrubs and leaning against her cubby with a smirk, "And she never expected you to get married, let alone last six weeks as a wife, so she's congratulating you where she can..."

Meredith laughed at her best friend's sarcasm, but Izzy glared at Cristina. "That is so not what I was saying. Just because you're dead inside doesn't mean you have to bring down everyone else."

"Just because I'm not possessed by the ghost of Christmas happiness crap doesn't mean I'm dead inside," Cristina retorted.

"First of all, it's the ghost of Christmas _past_, and second of all-"

"Second of all, it's July," Meredith cut in, "Not December. So, can we drop the subject...whatever it may be?"

"Fine by me," Cristina said, reaching to pull on her lab coat.

"I was just trying to be happy for you, Mer," Izzy stated lightly, but Meredith could detect a hint of hurt in her tone.

With a sigh, Meredith hugged her former roommate back. "Thanks, Iz, seriously it means a lot that you care. It's just six in the morning, and I had to drive in by myself in the dark while my husband is still asleep at home."

"A trailer is not a home," Cristina spoke up.

Izzy turned to glare at her roommate. "What is that supposed to mean? That I was homeless for the first eighteen years of my life?"

Cristina pursed her lips as she contemplated her response, her expression belaying she had forgotten that little tidbit about Izzy's upbringing in her remark, and she had to tread carefully, as she was quite aware that Izzy could kick her 'pampered Beverly Hills ass' if she felt like it. "Fine. A trailer is not a home for a surgeon, especially not two surgeons."

Meredith shook her head as she blocked them out and turned to her cubby to prepare for the work day ahead of her. She smiled as her eyes caught on the pictures posted onto the back wall of her cubby, especially the one from her and Derek's wedding day six weeks prior. They were facing each other, she leaning back in his arms with hers loosely hooked around his neck. She was smiling happily at him, but it was his expression that made the photo. The McDreamy look was mixed with love, adoration and devotion. And all it took was one glance at this photo for all of her doubts to wash away.

She made quick work of getting changed, and had just tossed her stethoscope around her neck when the door was pushed open, revealing a smiling Dr. Harris. "Good morning ladies," he said brightly. "Is everyone ready to save some lives this morning?"

Meredith greeted him automatically and hid a smile at her friends' opposite reactions. Izzy grinned broadly and nodded emphatically, whereas Cristina grunted a response and looked bored and vacant.

"Alright-y-then. Dr. Steven's, you're with Dr. Bailey today. She's told me you can take two interns with you, so find a place for the other two first. Dr. Yang, Dr. Webber has told me to make certain you've all put in adequate hours in each specialty, so you are working with Dr. Sloan today. He has, of course, requested no interns join you. And, last but not least, Dr. Shepherd, you need to put in some more hours in cardio, so you'll be working with Dr. Hahn, along with second year, Dr. O'Malley, so you need to find a home for all of your interns today before joining her."

Meredith nodded. "Thanks, Dr. Harris."

He smiled warmly at them all before turning to leave.

"Goodbye, Dr. Harris," Izzy called after him. She shook her head after the door had shut behind him. "He really is doing a good job, don't you think? Bailey's footprints weren't easy to fill, but he's really stepping up."

"Sure, Iz," Meredith responded.

"The he-Herron reminds me too much of his female counterpart for me to consider any positive comments to describe him."

"He is not Sydney Herron's male counterpart," Izzy retorted, glaring at her roommate. "Stop calling him the he-Herron."

"Why? It's our thing. We call people things," Cristina reminded.

"No, it's you thing."

"Come on, like you've never used any of the names. McDreamy, McSteamy, Bambi, evil spawn." Cristina paused for a moment and glanced at Meredith before smirking. "She-Shepherd."

"Hey, don't call me that."

Izzy laughed. "That's right. You are the she-Shepherd now."

"I am not."

"If you'd rather, we could call you McWife..." Cristina suggested, still smirking at her best friend.

"Or both..."

Meredith glared at both of her friends. "You can't call me something that we used to call Addison."

Cristina scoffed. "Come on, Mer, we used to call Addison a lot of much worse things..."

Izzy nodded her agreement. "Yeah, Meredith, you're the new Mrs. Derek Shepherd. The names come with the position, not the person."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "_Doctor_," she corrected. "And it's Dr. _Meredith_ Shepherd. Mrs. Derek Shepherd makes me sound like one of those trophy wives who don't have any skills; something that would make my mother come back from the grave and beat the crap out of me if I turned into. I have skills. I am a surgeon. And I am not a freaking trophy wife."

"You still changed your name," Cristina reminded.

"We've had this discussion a hundred freaking times," Meredith grumbled. "I hated being a Grey, and I love being a Shepherd. It doesn't mean I'm pathetic, or dependent or whatever."

Cristina opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off when the door to the locker room flew open, revealing their former Chief resident/former resident. "What are you people doing?" Bailey exclaimed. "It's six-oh-one. You're late, and there are interns waiting in the hall for you."

"Of course, Dr. Bailey," Meredith responded, along with Izzy and Cristina. And when Bailey turned away from them to leave, Meredith couldn't help but smile. After all that had changed in the past two years, it was comforting to know that some things would never change.

000

It was hours later that Meredith found herself in the waiting room with George, talking a very nervous family through their patient's surgery from that morning.

"...And, other that the one complication, the surgery was textbook," George was saying.

"But there was still a complication," the wife exclaimed, ever the spitting image of the 'trophy wife' Meredith had imagined earlier. The woman had shown up in a skirt and tight blouse, her hair up and make-up flawless...to sit and wait for her husband to come out of bypass surgery. It wasn't normally like Meredith to judge patients and their families, but she and George had talked them through the surgery and it's very mild complication five times now.

Ever the picture of integrity and professionalism, George nodded sympathetically and began to explain the procedure for a sixth time. Meredith remained poised and neutral as the same questions were asked and the same answers were given.

"...And, as we explained before, we did have minor trouble getting him off of the heart and lung machine on the first try," George stated. "But after a few minutes, we attempted once again, and had no problems."

"But why was there a problem in the first place?" She exclaimed.

"I know that it sounds scary, Mrs. Larson," Meredith said, cutting in. She reached forward to grab a supportive hold of the woman's forearm, a move she had learned from Derek. "But sometimes that just happens. The heart and lung machine is exactly what it is called; it acts as the patient's heart and lungs while in surgery so that the actual heart and lungs can be still while we operate. That makes surgery much safer. And sometimes, just as it happened with your husband, we go to take the patient off and their heart is a tad reluctant to start beating regularly again."

"But why does it happen?"

Meredith squeezed her forearm and smiled reassuringly. "It just does sometimes," she said, not wanting to get into the technicalities. "But the thing to keep in mind here is that on the second attempt, your husband came off the machine perfectly. And his heartbeat now is very strong."

Mrs. Larson took a breath. "So, he's going to be okay?"

"Baring any unforeseen complications, he should be just fine."

"You should have your husband home by the end of the week," George added.

Her eyes filled with tears. "Okay. Okay... That's wonderful. He's going to be okay, really?"

Meredith nodded. "He should be just fine," she repeated. "He's in recovery right now, but a nurse should be down without a half hour to take you to the cardiac ICU waiting room. And Dr. Hahn has been called to another patient, but she promises to catch up with you later today if you have any more questions."

"Good," she said, tearfully.

Meredith released the other woman's arm with a nod. "I'm sure we'll see you and your husband this week."

"Thank-you, Dr. Shepherd, Dr. O'Malley."

"You're welcome," Meredith told her, echoed by George. "We'll see you soon."

After they were a safe distance away, Meredith sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "I am so tired," she mumbled. "I thought that was never going to end."

George nodded his agreement. "I know," he said, and then let loose a small chuckle. "Though I have to admit that I'm still always surprised to hear anyone call you Dr. Shepherd."

Meredith smiled and playfully bumped his shoulder. "Yeah, you and me both... I keep expecting Derek to be standing behind me when someone calls me Dr. Shepherd. Hell, last week I was working with Mark, and completely didn't respond when the patient was calling me. Mark proceeded to make fun of me for the rest of the day."

George laughed. "It hasn't been that long, though. Maybe you just need some time to get used to it?"

"It's been six weeks," she stated. "Six weeks today."

He glanced at her, one eyebrow raised. "Keeping track?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, but Izzy is. She hugged me this morning and wished me a happy six week anniversary..."

"Lucky you."

Meredith laughed. "Yeah. Oh, and she and Cristina are now calling me the she-Shepherd."

"That's right. I guess that's you now."

She huffed. "Don't go there, George."

He smirked at her. "You're not my resident anymore, so you can't tell me what to do."

"Hey, I was a good resident. Just think of how bad it could have been if you'd gotten Cristina. Or Alex."

George made a show of shuddering as they came to a stop to wait for the elevator. "True..." he glanced down at his watch. "Hey, did you want to get something to eat? I'm starving." It was almost noon

Meredith shook her head. "Can't. Hahn had that emergency come in, and told me to scrub in. I'll have to catch up with you later."

She made her way back to the OR floor, and bumped into her best friend in the scrub room. "Hey."

Cristina nodded in her direction. "Hey," she said dryly.

Meredith stepped up beside her to start scrubbing her hands. "What's with the bored face?"

The cardio-surgeon-wannabe rolled her eyes. "I scrubbed in on a nose job this morning, and now I get to scrub in on a tummy tuck."

"Oh," she said knowingly. "That's crappy."

Cristina sighted. "That's Sloan."

She shrugged. "He's not so bad anymore."

"Hmm, does McDreamy know you're warming up to McSteamy?"

It was Meredith's turn to roll her eyes. "So not what I meant, and you know it. It's just...Mark is like...practically...my brother-in-law..." She stammered on the last words, realizing just how strange they sounded coming from her own mouth _and_ regarding herself. Meredith had in-laws. She had been aware of it, sure, but she had never really _realized _it.

"Whatever, McWife."

Meredith groaned. "Please don't call me that."

"But it's fun when you obviously enjoy it so much."

She was about to retort when the scrub room door opened. "Hello ladies," Mark drawled as he stepped up beside Meredith at the sink, where Cristina had just vacated. "Yang, are you ready for my surgery?"

"Of course, Sir," Cristina muttered, covering her look of disdain by attaching her mask.

"Great," he responded, unconsciously going through the motions of scrubbing in. "We should be finished early today."

Meredith finished rinsing and reached for a sterile towel to dry her hands and arms. "You're very cheerful today," she commented.

Mark smirked at her. "Just living the dream."

She raised an eyebrow. "And here I thought the nurses were still blacklisting you..."

"I've matured. There's more to life."

"You say that like you're not saying something. Spill."

"You're very pushy, you know," he countered. "Derek tells me you're bossy, but I never really saw it until now."

She ignored his comments. "Stop avoiding the subject."

He smirked. "I may have a secret admirer."

"And what would make you think that?" She asked, forcing her voice to stay calm and even, as she went by Cristina's example and used her hands and mask to cover her expression.

"A little birdie may have told me," Mark responded. "And may have even left me a gift."

Meredith struggled to force back a laugh, covering for it with a small cough. She caught Cristina's eyes from across the small room and they shared a smile at Mark's expense as the plastic surgeon scrubbed at his hands, oblivious to the change of atmosphere in the room. He had no idea that his 'secret admirer' didn't exist, and that the 'gift' left by the 'secret admirer' was actually the rejected bowl Meredith and Derek had received as a wedding present.

"Anyway," Meredith managed to say with relative normalcy. "I need to get to Hahn. It took way too long to talk to that family, and she'll have my head if I'm any longer."

"See you later, she-Shepherd," Cristina called loudly as Meredith headed down the hallway.

000

It was well into the afternoon when Meredith was finally out of surgery the second time. Hahn's emergency had taken hours to stabilize, and coupled with the bypass from the morning, had prevented Meredith from taking a break for something to eat, let alone a coffee. And coffee was her first priority now that she finally had a break.

Her elevator dinged as it reached the ground floor and Meredith waited as everyone else filed out of the car before she staggered out after them, her heart set on a large cup of black coffee. The coffee cart was empty save for one customer. Meredith smirked as she approached and reached out to intercept the cup of coffee being passed across the counter.

Derek did a double take as his coffee was stolen right in front of him, only inches from his grasp, but chuckled when he realized she was the culprit. "You know, stealing isn't looked upon well in this country..."

She glared at him before taking a large gulp and making no move to hand the coffee to him.

He pursed his lips off of her look and nodded before turning back to the coffee barista. "Apparently I'm going to need another cup of coffee," he said wryly, pulling out his wallet again. "I didn't realize the whole 'what's mine is yours' thing applied to hot beverages."

The new coffee was quickly poured and Derek made a show of blocking his wife when he reached for it. "Gotta be careful around here," he told her.

Meredith glared at him again.

"Okay, are you going to tell me why you're in a mood, or do I need to guess?"

"I'm not in a mood," she retorted as they wandered back towards the elevator together.

"Ah, she speaks. _And_ she's in a mood."

"I'm exhausted. And I've been in surgery all day."

"And that's my fault?"

She nodded as they stepped onto an empty elevator. "It's your fault I haven't slept in six weeks. Oh, and happy six week anniversary, by the way."

Derek blinked twice, struggling to assess the situation. "Uh, okay, happy six weeks to you too." He cautiously leaned in and pressed his lips against her cheek. "But how is it my fault you haven't slept?"

"Because of all the freaking newlywed sex!" She exclaimed.

He smirked. "I don't seem to remember any complaining at the time."

"But that's the problem. There's no reason to complain at the time. But then I have to get up at unreasonable hours in the morning to go to work, while you get to sleep in."

"And, apparently, the lack of sleep is making you nice and grumpy."

She swiped her free hand at him, which he was waiting for and easily dodged before pulling her against him.

"Hey, we both know I'm not forcing you into anything, so you can't pin this all on me."

"I'm not taking the blame."

He laughed at her insistence. "Grumpy _and_ stubborn; good combination."

She groaned and buried her face against his chest. "I'm so tired, Derek."

He ran his hand up her back and kissed the top of her head. "We were having lots of sex before we got married," he reminded.

"But now we're having more _and_ we live further away. That's less sleep on two fronts. And, on top of it all, I have new interns to break in."

"Residency is tough."

She rolled her eyes and lifted her head away from his chest to glare at him. "Thanks for the insight."

He smiled and leaned down to kiss her. "Sorry, but look on the bright side, only five years left."

Meredith glared at her husband again. "_So_ not helping."

The elevator came to a stop and opened onto the attendings' office floor. Derek placed a hand on the small of her back and led her to his office. She couldn't help the smile that fluttered to her lips at the simple act.

Once they were in his office, she collapsed onto the couch. Two of her interns were monitoring her patient's post op recovery, so she had the better part of an hour before she needed to be back on the floor. She had time to sit and actually take the time to drink her coffee instead of scolding her throat by swallowing as much as she could in as short an amount of time as possible; something she ended up doing so often.

Derek sat beside her and slid close, his arm wrapping around her waist as he pressed his nose into her hair and breathed. "I missed you this morning."

"Mmm, you too," she murmured, closing her eyes and revelling in the closeness. "Though you did mumble a few things this morning." When the alarm had gone off, shattering the peaceful air in the trailer, he had grumbled something about turning it off. And when she had been showered, dressed and heading out the door, believing him to be fast asleep, he had called out a very sleepy _I love you_.

He sighed. "I'm sorry you're tired. Maybe we moved too quickly on the house." Originally they had planned to stay in town for longer, and build a house in the future, so that they were close to the hospital while Meredith got through the first few years of her residency. But after he had taken her home the first time, and she had met his family and stayed in the house his mother and father had built together, she had brought up building the house sooner. It had actually come up on the plane ride home from New York. "We can always move back into town, Mer," he assured.

"But the house will be done soon."

"It'll still be there when we're ready."

"Is this just your way of preventing us from having less sex?" She asked jokingly.

He chuckled. "You know me too well."

Meredith sighed. "I don't want to move back into town. I love the land. I love the trailer. And I can't wait for us to have the house. I'm just...so tired."

His hand migrated up to her forehead. "You're not sick, are you?"

"No. Just tired."

After pressing his hand against her forehead and cheeks, he eventually reassured himself that she didn't have a fever and returned his supportive hold around her. "What can I do?"

Her heart fluttered at the tenderness in his voice. All he wanted was for her to be happy. "Make the days longer so I have more time to sleep."

"Sorry, Mer, that I can't do. I'm not God."

She smirked, having counted on him saying that. "Really? Cause you certainly act like one."

He clicked his tongue, but when he spoke again, she could hear the laughter in his voice. "Grumpy, stubborn _and_ snarky."

"Shut up."

His arms closed around her, holding her tight against his chest. "I love you, Meredith. I really do."

She sighed, pulling away for long enough to place her stolen drink down on the table before returning to his embrace. "I love you too, Derek."

He shifted to lean more against the side arm of the couch instead of the back, and she tucked her legs up, snuggling into his warmth. "Coffee helping?"

"Mmm, not yet." The truth was she could feel the pull of sleep more now than before. Before she had been on her feet, in surgery, talking with patients and families, and striding through hospital hallways. Now, however, she was off her feet, curled up on a comfy couch with her husband. His warmth and smell were intoxicating, making her want nothing more than to close her eyes and drift off to sleep in his arms.

He pressed his lips against the side of her head and sighed. "I don't have long till I have to be back."

"Me either."

"You're off at six, right?"

She nodded against his chest.

"I should be done around then, too. I'll drive you home."

"But we have both cars here," she reminded.

"That's okay. I'll come in early with you tomorrow."

Meredith lifted her head off of his chest to meet his eyes. "Are you sure?" She really hadn't meant for him to feel guilty.

Derek smiled his trademark smile and kissed her. "Of course. I'd feel uncomfortable with you driving home alone like this anyway."

She sighed. "Derek..."

"Nope." He kissed her again to cut her off. "My foot is down."

She raised an eyebrow. "Your foot is down? What is that supposed to mean?"

"That I'm driving you home."

As much as she wanted to continue bantering with him, to challenge him on his foot being down, she couldn't help but nod and return to her earlier position against him. "Okay," she said quietly, knowing he would know exactly how tired she was by the fact alone that she wasn't arguing. "Thank-you, Derek."

"It's what I'm here for."


	4. Six weeks Part 2

_**AN: I've had the trifecta of issues in the last week...computer, browser and internet... Seriously. I'm not impressed, and got very little writing done. But all's good now (and will hopefully stay that way).**_

The sun was beginning to dip low in the sky when Derek manoeuvred his car off of the ferry. Although he was being careful for bumps, Meredith jolted awake when the grated ramp turned into smooth pavement. "Wh?" She mumbled sleepily.

He reached a hand across the center consol to rest upon her knee. "We're just getting off the ferry. You can go back to sleep."

Meredith blinked several times to rid her eyes of the blurriness. She could barely remember leaving the hospital, let alone getting on the ferry. Her coffee break with Derek hadn't lasted very long before she had been paged by her interns, worried about the blood pressure of the patient she had left them monitoring. Another hour later it had been obvious the patient was in distress, and Meredith had found herself back in surgery with Dr. Hahn. And it had been after eight before the patient had been re-sent to recovery. Meredith, having expected her husband to have headed home, texted him to let him know she was too tired to drive and would be crashing in an on-call room. But he had surprised her by texting back immediately to let her know he was still waiting.

She cleared her throat, but her voice was still groggy when she spoke. "Thanks, if I didn't say it before..."

"For what?"

She reached for the hand that was still resting on her knee. "For driving me home. I didn't want to spend the night in an on-call room." And that was the truth; as inconvenient as it was to drive out to the trailer, she loved it out there. There was something almost magical about the land, and about the dreamy man she shared a bed with.

"I told you I'd drive you home," he reminded.

"Yeah, but that was when I was supposed to be done at six."

He squeezed her hand. "I didn't want to spend the night without you."

She swallowed hard. "You either. But no sex tonight." She emphasized her words by pointing a finger at him.

Derek chuckled. "Don't be blaming me for all the sex. You're just as much to blame; it takes two..."

Meredith was too tired to argue. "Whatever. But I'm telling you right now that there will be no sex tonight. You are not allowed to instigate anything, and..."

He smirked. "And I'm not allowed to let you instigate anything?"

She glared at him. "Yes."

"Okay." He changed his grip on her hand, threading their fingers together. "Are you hungry? We could stop and pick up something to eat."

"No food. Just sleep."

He nodded and was silent for several moments. Meredith closed her eyes, and was drifting off to sleep again when he spoke up. "Did you eat today?"

She furrowed her brow as she struggled to force her foggy brain back over the past day. "I..." She had picked up a coffee on her way in that morning. Two back to back surgeries. Coffee with Derek. Another surgery. "...Had coffee," she finished.

The quiet sigh and click of his tongue told her he didn't approve.

"It wasn't my fault. I was in surgery all day," she reminded.

"You still need food, Mer."

"I was busy," she reiterated. "I never had a chance."

"You came down for coffee. I would have bought you something then if had known."

"I wasn't hungry; I didn't think about it."

"This could be why you're so tired. Your blood sugar must be on the floor."

Meredith sighed, knowing he was making a good point. "Fine."

The car came to a stop at a stop sign, and Derek paused before continuing through the intersection to glance at her. "Fine?"

She met his gaze. "Fine," she repeated. "Stop. We can get food. Whatever." They had never quite made it to the grocery store the previous day, so there wasn't much left in the trailer.

"I'm not trying to force you to eat, Meredith."

"Well, you certainly fooled me," she shot back, releasing his hand to cross her arms over her chest. She was exhausted and didn't have the energy to deal with this right now.

"How did I get to be the bad guy here? I'm only trying to help."

"I can take care of myself, Derek."

"I never said you couldn't."

A horn blared from behind them, signalling that Derek had waited far too long to pass through the intersection. He absently waved a hand in apology to the driver behind them and drove through the intersection. He remained silent, both hands gripped tightly to the wheel.

Meredith released a shaky breath, willing herself not to cry. She was tired, she felt like shit, and now she was hungry. Derek being mad at her was not something she could handle when all she had wanted to do was fall asleep in his arms that night.

They passed a small coffee shop; one they had stopped at a few times before on the way home from work. Derek sighed noticeably as they passed it, but made no move to stop.

The sun was dipping quickly, and Meredith was grateful for the low light, hoping it would hide her silent tears as they streamed down her face. He still said nothing as they reached the turn off for their land, and then eventually the narrow lane that would lead to the trailer.

Once the car came to a stop, Meredith removed her seatbelt and quickly wiped her face dry with her sleeve as she stepped out, hoping he wouldn't notice. She refrained from glancing in his direction as she turned back to the car to fish her bag out of the backseat, and she took her time making sure she had everything.

However, when she stood upright, he was nowhere to be seen. She sighed heavily, wondering if he had headed into the trailer without her, leaving her by herself to decide when to go in and deal with the situation. A situation she wasn't sure how they had gotten into, but was sure she didn't want to deal with right now. Now she would have to go inside to confront her angry husband, argue about whatever it was they were fighting about, and then try and fall asleep beside him.

They didn't fight often. Sure, they argued about little things, but actually fights were few and far between. They were good at the talking things through thing now, were good at communicating, and never let things stew overnight, so as much as she wanted to crawl into the hammock beside the trailer and sleep there, she knew this needed to be dealt with now. She could only hope they could make up enough for him to at least hold her while she fell asleep. Despite her exhaustion, she knew she would have trouble drifting off if he was beside her, angry and stewing; so close but so far away.

And she really needed some help in falling asleep, especially now that she was hungry and knew that having something to eat would only serve to fuel his arguments.

Meredith took a deep breath and closed the car door, stealing herself for what was to come. She turned away from the car and gasped, her hand inadvertently clutching at her chest.

Derek stared questioningly at her, only a few short feet away. "You okay?"

She released a breath. "You scared the crap out of me. I thought you went inside."

His head tilted just a bit to the side as he sighed. "Not without you."

Biting down on her lower lip, Meredith contemplated her next words. "I...wasn't sure what kind of...thing we were having."

He stepped forward in response to her vulnerable tone and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you, Meredith, so regardless of what's going on between us I'll never leave you outside in the dark, okay?"

She breathed against his chest, her hands finding their way over his shoulders. She could point out that it wasn't really dark, only dusk, but she was too busy finding comfort in his closeness. "I'm sorry," she murmured.

"I love you," he repeated. "And that comes with an overwhelming urge to take care of you, even if you don't like it. I want...no, I _need_ to make sure that you're okay, all the time. And you told me how exhausted you are, and you were asleep before we left the hospital parking lot, and I...I don't like seeing you so drained. It makes me worry. And I realized you hadn't eaten, and I..." he trailed off and sighed. "I'm sorry I pushed."

Meredith closed her arms tighter around his neck. He had a propensity to be overbearing. Sometimes she enjoyed it, sometimes she tolerated it, and sometimes...well, sometimes this happened. "I'm sorry too. I don't...I'm not always used to someone noticing things about me that I don't even notice." She lifted her head from his chest to meet his eyes. "I hadn't even realized I hadn't eaten or that I was hungry until you mentioned it."

One eyebrow twitched as his lips curled upwards. "You're hungry now?"

She started as she realized her mistake and nodded slowly.

His curled lips became a smile as he shook his head. "What am I going to do with you?"

"I'm sorry," she said again.

He kissed her. "Don't be sorry. You have no reason to be sorry. Did you want to go back out?"

She shook her head. "No. I'm too tired."

"I can go," he offered. "What do you want?"

"No. I'd be asleep before you'd get back. We have cereal; I can have that."

"You sure?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay." He pulled closer to press his lips against her forehead and then hugged her tight. "I'm sorry, Meredith. I hate seeing you cry."

"I'm not crying," she mumbled against his chest.

"But you were in the car. I hate it. And I hate it even more when it's my fault."

She closed her eyes and breathed him in. Of course he would have noticed her crying. He noticed the little things about her that the people who were supposed to have cared never had. "It's not your fault."

He released her and took her hand as they headed for the trailer. "It is my fault; I shouldn't have pushed. Not today." He opened the door and motioned for her to go in first.

She tossed her bag onto the counter beside the door and turned back to him. "But you were right. I didn't eat, and I'm exhausted. _And_ I'm a freaking doctor who should know better. It's just...my mother..."

He cocked his head. "What?"

Meredith furrowed her brow as she thought back to her childhood. "She was rarely home. And I can't...I don't remember her eating. I guess she must have eaten at the hospital, but I rarely saw her eat anything at home." She sighed. "I guess I still have things I need to learn to do automatically."

Derek smirked. "What; like I'm programming you to be the perfect woman?"

She giggled and swiped a hand at his chest.

He laughed in response as he dodged her hand and skirted around her for the small kitchen. "I think we only have Muesli," he said apologetically. "You ate the rest of the sugar crap last week."

"It's not crap."

He made a face. "Yes, it is. And that's something I _know_ I'm right about."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Whatever; it still tastes better than Muesli."

"Don't make fun of my cereal or I won't let you have any," he taunted, even as he was pouring the cereal into two bowls.

"Oh, what a threat," she said sarcastically as she opened the fridge and rooted around for the milk.

He made a face at her as he turned to put the cereal away, and she poured some milk into both bowls with a laugh before turning back to the fridge. Derek grabbed both bowls and headed for the table, while Meredith paused for spoons before joining him. It made her smile how they had developed a silent routine for little things like this; no one had to speak, but both got everything they needed. It wasn't like two years before when, more often than not, he ended up with everything and she ended up without a bowl.

They sat in comfortable silence for several minutes, the tension from earlier gone. Meredith hungrily scooped cereal into her mouth, not commenting on the fact that Derek had filled her bowl very full. Derek smiled to himself and refrained from commenting at how quickly she was eating. It was no secret to either of them that, should enough food be presented to her, she could out eat him.

"So," she started, half way through her dinner. "It's been six weeks."

His face lit up at her words. "It has."

"Is that...weird?"

"Is it weird? That time passes?"

She rolled her eyes at his mocking tone. "Don't be an ass. Is it weird that we've already been married that long?"

"Not to me."

"It just seems like time has gone by so quickly, like the wedding was yesterday."

"Mmm," he murmured. "It has gone by quickly. But you're the one who's keeping track..."

She rolled her eyes. "I am not."

"So, you just happened to realize it was our six week anniversary today?"

"Yes, I just happened to 'realize' it when Izzy accosted me in the locker room. Apparently she's been keeping track."

He chuckled. "Good."

She raised an eyebrow, a spoonful of Museli paused half way to her mouth. "Good? You're glad Izzy is keeping track of how long we've been married?"

"No," he shook his head with a smile. "I'm glad you're not. You and me...we're not the six week anniversary type."

Meredith smiled at her husband, her heart swelling in her chest. He really did love her for her. And he really did get her. "We're really not," she agreed. "Anniversaries are yearly things."

"They are," he agreed.

"But..." she continued, "If you really love me you could do something for me for our six week anniversary..."

He pursed his lips. "Other than letting you steal my coffee, driving you home and letting you eat my cereal after you made fun of it?"

She nodded.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Killing Cristina and Izzy," she said dryly.

Derek laughed. "Uh-oh, what are they doing now?"

"They're calling me the she-Shepherd."

"The she-Shepherd?" He kept laughing and shook his head.

"Shut up," she mumbled, pointing her spoon at him.

"Ah, I think it's cute," he retorted.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "It's so not cute. Plus, it's what we used to call Addison, so-"

"You used to call Addison the she-Shepherd?" He asked, cutting her off.

She nodded, not having realized he didn't know. "Yeah," she said simply. "And McWife, which Izzy and Cristina are also calling me, by the way."

"I didn't know that."

"Well, we did, because that's what we do. We give people nicknames. And now they're calling me both. Oh, and I heard a group of interns using the term McWife, so I know it's already spreading."

Derek chuckled. "Sorry," he offered, though his tone conveyed that he wasn't really.

She glared at him. "Soon everyone will be calling me McWife, so you have to kill my friends for me before that happens."

"Hmm, I'll do almost anything for you, Mer, but I draw the line at murder."

Meredith laughed despite herself. "But it would send a message, and then no one else would call me names..."

"But they're cute names."

She rolled her eyes. _Of course he would think that._ "Fine; then I'm not doing anything for you for our six week anniversary."

He chuckled and did the smiling-and-shaking-his-head thing that made her heart melt. "Like I said; it's not us."

Meredith allowed herself a small smile before she spooned another mouthful of muesli into her mouth. She proceeded to chew thoughtfully before swallowing. "We're married," she finally spoke.

"Mmm-hmm," he agreed with a smirk. "We are; have been for six weeks, actually."

She rolled her eyes at his cocky sarcasm. "Yeah, thanks, I got that," she shot back, matching his tone. "I just meant that we're...married."

He kept contact with her eyes, but the sarcasm fell away from his expression as he realized she was trying to tell him something. "I'm not sure I'm following what you're saying?"

She placed her spoon down into her empty bowl and pushed the dish away. "I guess I knew we were married...obviously. But today...I'm the she-Shepherd, Derek. The freaking she-Shepherd."

His lips curled upward, and Meredith knew he was fighting off laughter.

"Shut up."

"I didn't say anything."

"You were thinking it."

He chuckled. "I was. Sorry. I can't help it."

"Aren't you supposed to love and cherish me instead of making fun of me?"

"I'm not making fun of you. And I do love and cherish you." He left his side of the table to join her on her side. "I love you," he repeated. "Tell me what's going on in that head of yours."

She sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder. "We're married," she repeated. "Like really, actually married; in the till death do us part way."

His arm closed around her middle. "We really, actually are," he murmured, a sense of understanding in his tone. He always understood her, even if it took him some time.

"It just seems so...surreal."

"Surreal, huh?"

She nodded. "I never wanted this," she mused, and then immediately sighed when he tensed beside her. "Sorry, that came out wrong. Really freaking wrong." She turned her head to meet his eyes and offered him a comforting smile. "I'm sorry," she said again. "I'm just exhausted and not translating my thoughts into something you can understand."

"Mmm," he murmured. "I'm pretty good at translating; I've had lots of practice."

She giggled as he pressed his lips against her temple. "I never dreamt about this when I was growing up," she continued, knowing he already knew this, but telling him again anyway. "I never let myself dream of the perfect guy and the wedding and the marriage and everything. But then...I met you."

His arm hooked around her waist and held her tight. "You met me," he repeated.

Her fingers played absently with the fabric of his jeans above his knee as she remembered a time – a much unhappier time – when those words had been reversed. "I'm happy," she whispered. "Like, really, freaking happy. And it's scary sometimes, you know, that something that I never let myself want is what's making me so happy?"

"It's okay to be happy," he assured, closing his other arm around her. "The sky won't fall if you let yourself be happy."

Meredith leaned her head against her husband's warm chest as she found herself enveloped in a bear hug. He had, of course, nailed her issue right on. "I know," she replied, hoping she would one day be able to fully believe that. She had long since realized the intrinsic difference between _knowing_ and _believing._

"I'm happy too," he said suddenly, as if suddenly questioning whether or not she knew.

She closed her fingers over a fistful of his sweater and smiled. "Because we're married."

"Because you're here."

"In a trailer in the middle of nowhere?"

Derek chuckled. "Don't be mocking our home."

She was surprised to feel her throat tighten and her eyes water at the blasé use of the term. _Our home._

"Oh, Mer," he murmured into her hair, holding her tight.

She sniffed. "We have a home," she whispered. "We have a home and we're married and we're together...in the forever sense."

"In the forever sense," he agreed.

Pulling her head off of his chest, she met his eyes through her own watery gaze. "The excitement and the newness of the terms and stuff is wearing off," she admitted. "And now suddenly I'm realizing that it's all forever. I have a husband. I'm married." She shook her head, suddenly unable to fully grasp the concept. "I'm somebody's wife."

Derek smiled his trademark smile at her and gentle shook his head before leaning in close, his lips only a hair's breadth from hers. "No, you're _my_ wife."


	5. Two months

_**AN: Firstly, regarding several comments and PMs regarding Meredith's tiredness...she really is just honestly tired right now. Sorry to those who were hoping for a certain reason for her fatigue! I just really feel that they're not in that place yet. They deserve some relatively calm time to get used to being married, and build their house and all that before they start a family. That being said, the family thing is definitely in their future.**_

_**And secondly, I would like to take the opportunity to point out/brag about the fact that I guessed Derek's mother's name right. (In this universe at least. Lol.) *short happy dance* His middle name may be Christopher instead of Michael, but his mom's name is Carolyn. (This is the type of comment that happens when I've been writing more than sleeping...)**_

_**

* * *

**_

"It's just...weird, you know? There's all these terms and things..."

There was a hiss of static on the other end of the phone, followed by a long pause of silence. And then finally, "I don't really know what to say to you, Mer. Are you freaking out? Derek told me you tend to freak out..."

Meredith huffed and rolled her eyes as she moved to lie flat out on the small couch in the trailer, her legs hanging over then end. "I'm so not freaking out. I can't believe he told you that..."

"Men are idiots. Especially after you get married. They think they don't have to try anymore."

Meredith giggled, especially when she heard a male voice arguing in the background.

After a few exchanged words with her husband, Meredith's new sister-in-law came back on the phone. "For future reference, don't stay in the same room as your husband if you want to have an uninterrupted conversation."

Meredith giggled. "That's easier said then done for me right now. I'm lucky Derek's working tonight."

Anna laughed. "That's right. Derek's got you living in the trailer."

"It's temporary," Meredith responded, rolling her eyes. She now had to defend her home to her friends _and_ Derek's family. It was exhausting.

"Yeah, that's what Derek said."

"And you don't believe him?"

"He's my brother. I've learned to take most of what he says with a grain of salt."

"He's a lot of things, but he's usually honest." Meredith said, feeling a sudden swell of need to stick up for her husband.

Anna laughed. "That's why he _had_ to tell me that you tend to freak out about things."

Meredith sighed, covering her face with her free hand. "You Shepherds can be really annoying, did you know that? With the sticking up for each other, and the telling each other things..."

"I have news for you, Mer; you're one of us 'annoying Shepherds' now, too."

"That's exactly my freaking point," Meredith ranted. "I just got my new driver's license in the mail."

Anna paused. "I'm not seeing the connection..."

"It says Shepherd! Meredith Shepherd." Meredith hadn't regretted her decision to change her last name when she had married Derek, but there suddenly seemed like a lot to get used to.

"And this was unexpected?"

"No." Meredith rolled her eyes, wishing Anna would just 'get' it. "It was completely expected. That's why I got a new one."

"I think you've lost me."

"Didn't you think it was weird, when you married Spencer?"

"Well, I hyphenated, so it wasn't a huge deal..."

"What about the rest of it?"

"What rest of it?"

"All the terms. I'm _married_, Anna. _Married._"

"That's usually what happens after you have a wedding."

Meredith bit back a laugh at the tone of Anna's voice.

"And I'm pretty sure you did have a wedding," she continued. "Remember? Almost two months ago? At my mother's house? My son was your ring bearer? I could have sworn that was you..."

"Shut up," Meredith said dryly. She was quickly getting used to the sister-teasing-thing. "That's not the point."

"I'm yet to understand the point."

"It's weird."

"That's not a point."

"But it _is_. I'm _married_. I have a _husband._ I'm someone's _wife._"

"Also the point of having a wedding."

Meredith rolled her eyes, but continued. "Didn't it feel weird to you?"

"Uhm..." Anna made a humming noise as she thought. "I guess it was a bit weird, getting used to the terms. But it wore off pretty quickly. You'll get over it soon."

"Except that it only hit me a couple days ago. I think the exciting novelty thing is wearing off."

"And now you're freaking out."

"No, I'm not-"

"Are you regretting getting married?" Anna asked suddenly, a hint of worry in her tone.

"No." Meredith said quickly. Honestly. "Of course not. I...I'm happy. Like really, freaking happy. I'm just... It's weird. I don't regret anything; I swear. I love Derek so much. And I feel happier then I've ever been. But I'm a little thrown off, that's all."

"Maybe that's the problem."

"What?"

"That you're so happy. Maybe it just doesn't feel real yet. Give it time. Trust me, marriage will become routine and boring soon."

Meredith laughed as she heard Spencer muttering something on the other end of the line again.

After appeasing her husband, Anna continued. "You've told me that you never expected to fall in love and get married. Maybe it's just all hitting you that you did. Maybe it's not a bad thing. It's just...an adjustment for your subconscious."

"You do realize you sound like your sister, right?" She asked jokingly, referring to Kathleen, the psychiatrist in the family.

"I hate you," Anna said dryly. "You're not supposed to say things like that. We're supposed to stick together." Although all four Shepherd girls had gone to medical school, Anna had been the only sister to become a surgeon. She had latched onto Meredith, holding it over her sisters that there were two of them.

Meredith was pretty sure the fact that Anna was the youngest had a lot to do with wanting to have something to hold over her older three sisters, but she would never voice it in fears of being compared to Kathleen herself. "I just call it how I see it."

Anna grumbled. "Be nice, or I'll call Derek and tell him you're freaking out."

Meredith groaned. "Please don't. This is my first night off by myself in three weeks."

"Trouble in paradise already?"

"No, of course not. It's just...Derek tends to be excessively overprotective when he's worried."

"Some would see that as sweet."

Meredith rolled her eyes at Anna's teasing tone. "Sometimes I do. But sometimes it's just too much. Remember what I said about not having this before? I spent twenty-eight years alone, with no one to care and hover and be overprotective – or protective at all, really. So, sometimes I need some space. And Derek...hovers. A lot."

"He loves you."

"I know," Meredith said honestly. "I really do know. And I'm really happy. But I don't need him having extra reasons to hover." Her husband was an extremely caring individual, who always looked out for other people before himself. And when it came to her, he had a tendency for going overboard. Most of the time she didn't mind. But the rest of the time...well, Meredith was pretty sure she would have to learn to live with it for the rest of her life. Derek wasn't about to change.

"Is he really that bad?"

"Not most of the time. And it's really...amazing when I need him, to actually have someone be there for me. He's always there, and he always knows what to say." Derek had been her rock several months earlier when Thatcher Grey had attacked her. He had been a constant presence that kept her feeling safe and loved. "I couldn't have gotten through some things without him."

"But he's the same amount of overprotective, regardless of the situation," Anna guessed.

"Exactly."

"Did you ever wonder if maybe he's just as happy to have found you as you are him? Growing up with four sisters and no dad, having Mark as a best friend, marrying a woman who eventually got into bed with his best friend... I think maybe my brother never had anyone in his life either. He may not have gone through what you did, but I don't think he was ever really happy. I think he was lonely. And now, he's just so happy to have found you that he can't stand the thought of anything being wrong."

Meredith swallowed hard as she nodded absently to herself. That sounded exactly like Derek. He had grown up feeling the need to be strong for his family. His marriage to Addison had been okay for many years, but not great. They had never been as close as Meredith and Derek were now, or even had been a year ago. And Mark was a good friend, practically a brother to Derek, but not someone he had been able to confide in about certain things.

He had never had anyone in his life he could trust unconditionally. He had never felt loved unconditionally either.

Meredith had never thought of it that way before.

"You're sounding more and more like Kathleen every minute," she commented, trying to steer the conversation back to lighter ground. She had no idea how to respond to such a personality assessment of her husband. Especially when it rang so true.

Anna groaned and stood up for herself, even as her husband was laughing in the background. Meredith continued speaking to her sister-in-law for several more minutes before hanging up.

She sighed and swung her legs off of the end of the couch, sitting upright and staring around the small home. Although she had been grateful for a quiet night off to rest and catch up on sleep, she now wished Derek was home with her.

It had been close to two months since they had married, and Meredith hadn't been lying when she told Anna she was happy. She didn't regret a thing, even if she was freaking out a little about certain things. Her driver's license hadn't been the first to arrive in the mail. Her bank card, checks and credit cards had already arrived, but it hadn't felt quite as official as the driver's license. Grey was slowly disappearing into the background, leaving a feeling of relief in Meredith that she hadn't realized she would feel.

It was as if she was truly starting a new life. Derek knew who she had been as Meredith Grey, good and bad. And he had loved her anyway. It allowed her to move on as Meredith Shepherd. It allowed her to be able to be an outwardly loving person, to freely admit her feelings to her husband, much to the chagrin of her best friend, who kept calling her a pod person. It allowed her to accept his family as her family, to see Carol as the closest thing she had to a mother, to accept the fact that she now not only had a husband, but four sisters, four brothers (five including Mark) and fourteen nieces and nephews.

The kids called her Aunt Meredith. Kathleen, Nancy, Natalie and Anna included her as a sister. Carol accepted her as a daughter. And the most amazing thing was just how open Meredith found herself to the concept of family. It was new, but far from unwanted.

Standing, Meredith padded into the kitchen and stopped at the counter to leave a note for Derek;

_Hope your surgery went well. There's leftover pizza in the fridge,_

_Love, Mer._

With a laugh to herself about the pizza comment, knowing exactly what her husband thought of the food, Meredith continued down the short hall to the bedroom and stripped off her clothes. It was still early, but the point of her night off was to sleep. She had been getting a little more sleep on a regular basis after her talk with Derek, but they were still newlyweds. Some things just seemed more important than sleeping when they were home together.

Meredith pulled open a drawer, and fished out of one Derek cotton tees. It was soft and smelled like him. She quickly pulled it over her head and crawled into bed, waiting for sleep to come.

000

It was dark when Meredith felt the mattress shift next to her. She blinked groggily, and then smiled as she felt strong arms snake around her middle. "Hey," she murmured sleepily, rolling over to face him.

"Go back to sleep," he whispered, his breath warm on her cheek as he leaned close to kiss her forehead. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"But I haven't seen you all day." The part of their shifts that overlapped had been short and hectic, not leaving any time for interaction. The last time she had seen him had been early that morning, before the sun came up, when she had pulled herself from his arms and headed in to the hospital alone.

He offered her a gentle smile before leaning close again to peck her lips. "I missed you too."

She snuggled into his chest and sighed. "How was your surgery?"

"Long. But my patient came through."

"That's good."

"Mmm-hmm," he agreed, his hand running along her spine. "What did you do tonight?"

"Got a little research done. Ate some pizza."

He shook his head. "Yeah, I got your note."

She giggled. "I thought it was worth a try."

"I don't see how you can eat that crap all the time."

"Pizza is not crap. It's good."

He sighed, and there was a long pause before he changed the subject, knowing he would never win this particular argument. "What else did you do?"

"Talked to your sister-"

"Which one?" He asked, and Meredith could sense a smile on his face. It was no secret that he loved that she was close to his family, that he was able to offer her a place in a family; something she had spent her entire life secretly wanting.

"Anna."

"What did you talk about?" He asked with a yawn.

"Girl stuff."

Derek huffed. "You know, I'm starting to think they like you more than me..."

Meredith giggled. "_Starting_ to think?" She asked, unable to skip the opportunity to banter with her husband.

He grumbled something incoherent. "Why do I put up with you?"

She snuggled closer against his chest. "Because you love me."

"Ah, that's right. I knew it was something."

Meredith laughed at his tone, but sobered quickly. "I love you too, Derek," she whispered into the crook of his neck. "I really, really do."

His hands stilled on her back. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Meredith..."

With a sigh, Meredith pulled back far enough to meet his eyes. They always communicated better when they made eye contact. "I mean it, Derek. I'm really fine. Great, even. Fantastic."

He raised an eyebrow. "Fantastic, huh?"

She nodded and kissed him. "I'm just really, really happy."

Derek beamed, making Meredith's heart flutter. Anna was right. He needed her just as much as she needed him. All he wanted was for her to be happy.

She was so lucky to have him in her life.

"I'm really happy too."

"Just really happy? Not really, really happy?"

He rolled his eyes. "Really, really, _really_ happy."

Meredith snorted. "Good. And if your sister tells you I'm freaking out, just ignore her, okay?"

Derek pursed his lips. "Oh-kay. Can I ask why she would be telling me that?"

"I may have compared her to Kathleen. Twice. She could be out for revenge."

He laughed. "Yeah, that would do it. But why would it have come up in the first place?" He questioned, a hint of worry in his tone.

"Because it's weird," Meredith answered. In the year and a half since she and Derek had gotten back together, she had learned the benefits of being open with him about everything. He understood her, even the things she couldn't manage to say with words.

"What's weird?"

"Just all the terms and stuff."

"Still?"

"I'm happy," she repeated quickly. "I love you. And I don't regret anything for a second. And I love being your wife, being a Shepherd, being able to call you my husband, but..." She trailed off.

"But it's still weird," he finished.

"Yeah. I love all of it, but it's still weird, still surreal. Anna thinks it'll just take time to wear off."

"She's probably right."

"She told me marriage would soon become boring and routine."

Derek laughed, and leaned in to kiss her, long and hard. "I sincerely doubt being married to you could ever be boring."

"I'm not sure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult."

He laughed again, wrapping his arms tightly around her, hugging her close. "A compliment," he promised. "You don't have a boring bone in your body."

She smiled at his words, snaking an arm over his waist to hug him back. "You think so?"

"I know so. Our marriage won't ever be boring. Routine...maybe. But never boring."

"Speaking of not being boring," Meredith said suddenly as Derek's words sparked a memory of something she was supposed to tell him. "Mark made a comment about his 'secret admirer' again today." The plastic surgeon had made several remarks since receiving the rejected bowl. "So, I was thinking we find something else ugly and send him another 'gift'."

Derek snorted. "Now I know why I married you."

She giggled. "I'm thinking a really hideous tray or something. Or maybe a statue."

"We'll find something," he promised. "We'll talk to Cristina and Izzy tomorrow to see if they have any ideas."

"'Kay," she said with a yawn.

"Tired?"

"Mmm-hmm," she nodded against him.

"You're in at eight tomorrow?"

She nodded again.

"Good. That means we can drive in together."

Meredith smiled at the thought. They had driven in together a lot when they lived in the apartment, but the drive was so short that it never really meant much to her. But now, with a much longer drive, it seemed so domestic and...normal. It might be an odd thing to make her heart swell, but that didn't change the fact that it did.

"Sounds great," she murmured. He had resumed running his hands along her spine, which was lulling her back to sleep.

He sighed, and she felt his body relax, moving towards sleep.

With a sigh of her own, Meredith rolled back over, pulling his arm tight around her as she pressed her back into his chest. "I love you."

"Love you too." He pressed his lips against the back of her neck.

"G'night," she mumbled, sleep pressing heavily on her mind.

His arm tightened as he shifted behind her, closing any remaining space between them. "Night, Meredith," he finally responded, holding her tight.

Meredith closed her eyes, and fell asleep with a smile on her face. Against all odds, she and Derek had found each other, fallen in love and gotten married. They were happy. They had found that person that they could trust, who would love them unconditionally, who would always be there.

Life was good.


	6. Two and a half months

"How do I look?"

Meredith bit back a smirk as her eyes wandered over her husband. "I still think you should get one of those tweed suits with the elbow patches."

Derek rolled his eyes. "You're not helping."

Sitting cross-legged on the bed and nursing her cup of decaf coffee, Meredith giggled. "You asked. I'm just trying to help you look like a professor."

He made a growling noise in the back of his throat, but said nothing as he turned back towards the floor length mirror in their room, tugging nervously at his tie.

Meredith smiled to herself and uncrossed her legs before she slipped off the bed and placed her coffee mug down on the bedside table. Coming up beside her surprisingly anxious husband, she pulled his hands away from his neck. "Stop stressing," she commanded.

"I'm not stressing," he shot back.

She laughed out loud and quickly leaned in to press her lips against his. "Liar," she accused.

"Mmm," he murmured, his hands reaching for her waist. He kissed her back. "I could stay home and we could do this instead," he suggested, his voice low and hot as he moved his mouth over her ear.

"Hmm," Meredith sighed as she leaned against his chest, her arms snaking around his waist. "We could," she agreed, "But then you'd have a room full of disappointed med students."

Derek closed his arms around his wife, pulling her close and burying his face in the crook of her neck. "Why did I agree to this?"

Meredith smirked. "Because you have a massive ego and couldn't resist the opportunity to hold the undivided attention of a hundred people who look up to you." Derek had been approached a few weeks prior about teaching a neurosurgical class at the University of Washington. At the time he had been ecstatic and proud for the offer, and had accepted without hesitation, but as the date of his first scheduled lecture drew closer, Meredith had watched in awe as her normally cocky husband's confidence deteriorated. It was actually quite fascinating for her to see him so focussed on something; she had lost count of the number of times he had made her listen to his lecture material.

He huffed and pulled away far enough to meet her eyes. "Thanks for that."

She giggled again, running her hands over his chest. "You are going to be great," she reassured, pecking his lips.

"Of course I am," he replied, and although his voice sounded mostly normal, Meredith could see the nervousness in his eyes.

She huffed and smacked her hand against his chest.

"Owe!" He yelped, out of surprise more than pain. "What was that for?"

"I thought the point of the whole getting married thing was so that we didn't have to lie about things like this."

"I..." he stammered. "I'm not lying."

"You _are_ going to be great," she stated, "But I can tell you don't believe it, so stop freaking pretending."

The corner of his lips quirked upwards. "You know, you're sexy when you're bossy."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Stop avoiding."

He chuckled. "Wow, look at the role reversal. _You're_ actually telling _me_ to stop avoiding..."

Meredith smacked him again.

He was still laughing as he caught her hand. "I guess I deserved that."

"You did," she agreed. "And to think I was trying to be nice to you."

"You've hit me twice," he pointed out.

She shrugged. "You deserved it twice."

"I'm not sure I agree with that."

Meredith shrugged again, biting back a laugh. "Doesn't matter if you agree. I'm right."

He rolled his eyes, a trait he had inadvertently picked up from his wife. "What makes you think that?"

She smirked. "Because I'm always right."

Derek groaned. "I guess I should have seen that one coming..."

"Yeah, you really should have."

He sighed and smiled down at her. "I need to get going soon."

"Are you sure you don't want me to come?" She asked. "I could sit in the middle and laugh at your jokes."

"I don't need you to laugh at my jokes."

"But you don't want complete silence after you say them..."

He glared at her and pulled away, causing her to laugh. "I'm sorry," she offered, still laughing. "I couldn't help it..."

"Why do I put up with you?"

"Because you love me."

"Ah, right. I knew it was something."

"You'll do great," she repeated. "Just...don't use the joke about the dendrite and the neuron."

"But-"

"Seriously, Derek. Just trust me on this one."

"Fine," he agreed after a long pause.

"Now, seriously, are you sure you don't want me to come with you?"

He pecked her lips. "I'm sure. You're exhausted and need to sleep. And I doubt my students will respect me if I need to bring my wife with me as my comfort blanket."

Meredith couldn't help the smile that fluttered to her lips at his simple words, and her reaction failed to escape his notice.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just...nice."

He furrowed his brow. "What is?"

"You called me your wife."

He smirked. "That's what you are, have been for more than two months now."

"I know. It's just...when you say it to me it's usually to get a reaction out of me, but this time it was just...natural." She shrugged and her gaze flickered away from his in a moment of sudden shyness. "And that's nice."

"Mmm," he agreed. "It is nice." His arms looped comfortably around her waist. "Being married to you is the most natural thing in the world. Even when you make fun of me..."

She smiled into his chest and sighed. "I love you so much, Derek."

"I love you too."

They stood together for several moments, Derek's hands drawing lazy circles on her back, lulling her close to sleep. She had only gotten home an hour ago from a thirty hour shift, and wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in her husband's arms. "You need to go before I make you stay with me," she eventually whispered.

He took a deep breath before releasing her. "I need to get going," he agreed, running his palm against her cheek, "And you really need to get some sleep."

"Hmm, yeah," she mumbled, suddenly feeling the strong pull of exhaustion. It was a combination of the look in his eyes, the feel of his hands on her body, and the warmth of his body that never failed to completely relax her. And right now relaxing was putting her to sleep.

Derek pressed his lips against her forehead. "Do you want me to pick up anything on my way home?"

She tilted her head for a moment as she considered his offer, but shook her head. "Nothing I can think of."

"I'll be quiet when I come in."

"No, wake me up. I'll want to know how it went."

"But-"

She rolled her eyes. "Just wake me up, Derek. At the very least I-" She cut herself off as she realized what she was about to say.

He narrowed his eyes. "At the very least you what?"

"Nothing."

"Now who's lying?"

"Derek," she whined.

"Meredith," he mimicked.

She sighed. "Fine. I just...I like knowing that you get home safely on the nights I go to bed before you get home. It's...nice knowing you're here with me."

He smiled tenderly at her. "And who would have thought my wife was such a sap," he said, using the term _wife_ like he usually did around her; emphasizing it to get a reaction.

She smiled, but pointed a finger at him. "I am not a sap."

"Of course not," he said quickly, although his eyes were sparkling and his tone told her he wasn't the least bit honest.

"I'm serious, Derek. I am not a sap. I just like to know that you're home safe. And this whole thing is totally unfair. Here you are making fun of me for caring that you're here with me instead of bleeding in a ditch somewhere, while you'd never have to admit to feeling the same way. Who's to say you don't want to know when I'm home safe too? Seriously! And it's not freaking fair because you, mister light sleeper, wakes up to ever freaking sound in the stupid freaking trailer."

Derek was biting back a laugh when she finally talked herself out.

"Shut up," she shot at him.

He finally broke into laughter. "You never cease to surprise me."

"Shut up," she repeated.

He kissed her. "I'll wake you up from now on," he whispered when he pulled away, his lips inches from hers. "Because I know exactly what you mean. I'm always relieved to know you get home safe."

She felt her heart warm at his admittance. "Really?"

He kissed her again. "Really. I love you. I hate going to sleep when you're not home yet. And I'm grateful for being a light sleeper every time I wake up for long enough to know you're home safe. And I love you."

"You already said that."

"I know. I just wanted to say it again, because I really need to get going."

She nodded suddenly, having temporarily forgotten he had to go. "Right. You need to go. You can't be late for your first day..." She trailed off for a moment as a thought hit her. "Although, technically you made me late for my first day..."

He blinked. "What are you talking about? What first day?"

"My first day as an intern. You picked me up at Joe's and made me late getting to the hospital."

"That so wasn't my-" He cut himself off quickly. "Okay, I'm going to let this go for now, because I really don't have time to go back to the whole who picked up who debate. Because I need to go."

Meredith nodded. "Fine; I'll prove you wrong later."

He pursed his lips, but offered nothing in his own defence.

Meredith smirked. "Have fun."

He swallowed hard, and a shade of colour left his face as he was reminded of what he was about to do.

Although she felt for her husband, she still couldn't help but be fascinated by his nerves. "You're an amazing teacher, Derek."

"That's different; the hospital is a completely different setting..."

She shrugged. "You'll adapt. The brain is very plastic, you know. That helps with the whole adapting thing."

He glared at her. Neuronal plasticity was a large part of his opening lecture.

Meredith giggled. "You could even add that to your lecture..."

"You...I..." He shook his head. "I give up."

She laughed in full. "I'm sorry. I'm so tired that I think I'm starting to go crazy."

"Starting?"

"Shut up."

"Now I really have to go. I...do I have everything?"

She fought off the urge to roll her eyes as she nodded. "Your laptop is already in the car. Along with the flash drive in case something goes wrong with the laptop. And the disk in case something goes wrong with the laptop _and_ the flash drive."

"I just want everything to go right."

"Derek, even if you don't have your powerpoint show, you've rehearsed this thing so many times you could say it off by heart. Hell, Derek, you've spent more time preparing for one lecture than we did planning our wedding."

"I...don't know how to respond to that without getting in trouble."

She giggled. "I'm just trying to calm you down. You look nervous."

"That's because I am nervous."

"Call me," she suggested. "If you're freaking out before the lecture, you can call me."

"You'll be asleep."

"So I'll wake up."

"I don't need...are you sure?"

She nodded. "Of course. You can always call me, Derek. Unless you're driving," she said, pointing a finger at him. "You are not allowed to call me while you're driving a car."

"When have I ever...? I'm a neurosurgeon, Meredith. I've seen enough to know not to do that."

"Good."

"Although I have to say that I'm loving the homemaker my wife is turning into."

"We don't have time to get into that argument..."

He pecked her lips. "Right; because I need to go."

She nodded and moved to kiss him goodbye, but paused, her fingers going to his tie and making quick work of untying the knot.

"Hey! Do you have any idea how long it took me to get that straight?"

She pulled the thin fabric away from his neck and unlatched his top button. "Open collar is much better," she explained. "It'll make you more comfortable. And it will stop you from strangling yourself with your tie."

"I...okay." He ran a hand through his hair.

She hooked a finger into his now open collar and pulled his lips to hers, kissing him hard. "Now get going so that when you get home I can say I'm sleeping with the professor."

A breath of laughing air escaped his mouth. "Hmm...I like the sound of that..."

"I'm sure you do."

000

Hours later, Derek happily steered his car down the long drive to the trailer and parked it beside his wife's ageing jeep. All in all, his lecture had gone perfectly fine, just as Meredith had assured him it would. And he knew it would only give her more fuel for her argument about always being right.

But right now he couldn't care less. Right now he wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with his wife. He loved her desperately, and it never ceased to amaze him the changes she was constantly exhibiting. His once quiet and internalizing girlfriend was flourishing right before his eyes into the confident, content, family-oriented wife he was quickly getting used to.

The fact that she having issues adapting to the new terms that came with being married was adorable. And the fact that she was so open with him about her feelings and issues made his heart melt. They had come so far in the past year and a half. She really trusted him; probably more than she had ever trusted anyone.

Derek quickly made his way into the trailer, padded through the small living room and kitchen in the dark, and paused at the entrance to the bedroom, taking in the sight. Meredith was fast asleep, swathed in one of his old sweatshirts, curled up on his side of the bed.

He smiled softly to himself, his heart swelling at the surge of love he felt for the tiny woman in his bed. _Their _bed. Her hair was sprawled across the pillow beneath her head, and Derek couldn't resist stepping forward to run his fingers through the long, dirty blond strands.

She didn't respond to his light touch, and Derek carefully sat beside her, moving his hand from her hair to her back. "Mer," he whispered. "Meredith."

Meredith grumbled and buried her face in the pillow, stringing together a series of incoherent syllables.

He chuckled. "You told me to do this."

"I told you to call me, not come back and wake me," she groaned, motioning towards the cell phone lying on the pillow beside her.

Derek furrowed his brow and paused before he realized what she was talking about. She had told him to call her if he needed her before his lecture. And she had obviously made sure to keep her phone close.

"It'll be fine," she continued. "And you're going to be late."

This time he laughed aloud. "Mer, what time do you think it is?"

She groaned and rolled onto her back, blinking up at him. "Whatyoutalkin' bout?"

Derek leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. "My lecture started hours ago. And then I came home. And you told me to wake you when I got home, because you've turned into a sappy person, so I came in and woke you; just like I promised."

Meredith blinked sleepily. "You've already been and come back?"

"Mmm-hmm," he said with a nod.

She groaned. "I feel like I just went to bed."

Derek kissed her again. "Then go back to sleep."

"You coming to bed?"

"In a minute."

"Mmm, good," she murmured, closing her eyes.

Derek smiled and moved to stand, only for Meredith's hand to reach out and clutch onto the collar of his shirt, pulling him back down to her. "What?"

She opened her eyes and glared at him. "Stop calling me sappy."

He laughed, pecking her lips again. "I'll have to consult a thesaurus."

Meredith huffed. "Derek..."

"It's okay to be sappy, Mer."

She released her grip on him, and he stood, making quick work of brushing his teeth and changing for bed. Meredith was still on his side of the bed, her relatively light breathing telling him she was still awake.

Derek crawled into bed beside his wife, reaching his arms around her and pulling her into his chest.

"Derek," she mumbled into his chest.

"Hmm?"

"Don't tell anyone."

"Don't tell anyone what?"

"That I'm turning into a sappy homemaker...wife."

He chuckled and pressed his lips against her forehead. "Your secret is safe with me."

She pressed against him, pushing him onto his back so she could settle with her head on his chest. "How was your lecture?"

"It went really well."

"Told you."

"I know. You were right."

"As always," she added.

He laughed. "I love you so much."

"Hmm, I love you too," she murmured.

Derek closed his arms tightly around her and pressed his lips against her forehead. "Go back to sleep."

Meredith snuggled into him. "You're home."

He smiled to himself. "I am."


	7. Three Months

_**AN: So, the last couple episodes were pretty good, a little disappointing for the MerDer part of me, but still good. And even though the intern drama in the last epi was a bit stupid, it was totally worth it to see Meredith and George go all good cop, bad cop on 4.2...**_

_**

* * *

**_

"How's your breakfast?"

Meredith looked up from her bowl of Muesli to raise an eyebrow at her husband. "Oh, just wonderful," she said dryly. She found herself consenting to his breakfast choices a few times a week, more because she preferred the cereal to his quiet disapproval. Just because cold pizza and left over grilled cheese weren't chock full of vitamins and minerals and healthy grains didn't mean they weren't acceptable breakfast foods.

"You'll thank me one day."

"Not today."

Derek chuckled. "Is there an extra serving of snarky in the bowl this morning?"

She glared at him, all the while allowing herself a silent laugh at his expense. She had discovered a few weeks ago that a spoonful of sugar and some cut up fruit made the Muesli much more edible. Derek knew about the fruit, but not the sugar. But according to all four of her sisters-in-law, and her mother-in-law, keeping small secrets like adding sugar to your morning cereal were entirely acceptable in a marriage.

"So," he continued, moving towards a new subject. "Do you have any plans for today?"

Meredith furrowed her brow. She didn't have any plans, and he knew that. She knew that he knew that. He knew that she knew that he knew... "Why?" She asked, immediately suspicious. They both had the day off.

He shrugged, avoiding her eyes ever so slightly. "No reason. I just thought we could go out."

"Go out where?"

"Into town."

"Obviously. Why?"

"Lunch. Dinner. Shopping. Whatever."

She pointed her spoon at him. "You're being weird today."

He laughed and shook his head. "I just want to go and do normal things today."

"Normal couples don't have Wednesdays off together," she pointed out.

"Is there a helping of stubborn in there with the cereal and the snarky, too?"

Meredith bit back a smile. _And a great big helping of processed sugar_, she said in her head.

000

Five hours later, Meredith and Derek had been to several furniture stores – looking ahead for when they would have to furnish their new house – and to a gourmet grocery store – where Derek not only allowed Meredith to pick out a decadent chocolate cheesecake, but coached her to do it.

"Anywhere else you want to go?" Derek asked as they settled back into his car, the cheesecake safe in the cooler in the trunk. Because Derek was the type who took a cooler and freezer pack to the grocery store on warm days, even at the end of September.

"What do you mean 'where _I_ want to go'? I'm pretty sure this entire day has been all about what _you_ want to do..."

He paused, his fingers on the keys, ready to start the ignition, and met her eyes, worry clouding his. "I'm sorry. Have you not had a good day? We can always-"

"I never said I wasn't having fun. I just feel like this whole day has been a cover for something." She cocked her head thoughtfully. "Are you trying to distract me from something? Does today have some importance that I'm forgetting?" She couldn't remember anything bad happening that he would feel the need keep her attention from.

He shook his head, his hand leaving the keys to find her fingers. "I'm not trying to distract you."

Meredith pursed her lips. "But you've been all hover-y and overly supportive and whatever all freaking day."

"I have not-"

"You let me get an entire freaking cheesecake, Derek! A cheesecake. It's usually a hassle for me to get a slice. You've been too lenient about everything today..." She trailed off. "Wait a minute. Nancy warned me about this."

"Nancy warned you about what?"

"_This_. You're being too nice." She pointed a finger at him. "You did something bad."

His chin dropped. "What?!"

"She told me that's what husbands do. They do something stupid, and then they give themselves away by being too perfect. Like bringing home chocolates and flowers, and taking their wives shopping, and stuff. So, what did you do?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You're enjoying this," she accused.

Meredith laughed, unable to hold it back anymore. Anyone other than Derek, and she may actually be feeling worried. But she trusted him, in a way that still surprised her. "What did you do?" She asked again.

"I didn't do anything."

"Hmm..." She mumbled thoughtfully. "Then you're about to do something you know I won't like, and you're buttering me up."

"I-" He cut himself off. "You need to stop conspiring with my sisters."

"Aha! You're trying to change the subject to distract me from the fact that you can't tell me you're buttering me up."

"That's not true."

"Okay, fine." Meredith pulled her hand from Derek's and crossed her arms over her chest. "Tell me you're not about to do something I'm not going to like."

Derek stammered several times before he sighed heavily, admitting defeat. "I don't know for sure that you're not going to like it..."

"Yes, you do. You know me, Derek. And you wouldn't be going to such extremes as suggesting I get a cheesecake if you didn't know I wasn't going to like whatever it is you're hiding from me."

"I'm not _hiding_ anything from you."

"You won't be soon," she countered. "Now, tell me." As confident as she was in her relationship, she couldn't help the smallest twinge of uncertainty building in the back of her mind; old habits die hard.

"Meredith..."

"Don't Meredith me."

He chuckled. "I can Meredith you whenever I want."

She glared at him.

His chuckle evolved into a laugh.

"What is so freaking funny?"

"I just can't believe this has already escalated this far..."

"What has escalated this far? I don't even freaking know what we're talking about!"

He was still smirking. "And I'm thinking we keep it that way for now."

"Derek!" She hissed, exasperated.

"Can you blame me? Regardless of what you think, you're going to say no at this point."

"That's so not true."

"That so is true," he retorted. "Remember how you just told me how well I know you? Well, this fits. You'd say no to anything right now, just because I've put you in a mood."

"I would not."

"Really? What if I were to tell you I wanted us to going Mountain Climbing?"

"What? No."

"See; you just proved my point. It doesn't matter what I say; you're going to say no."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "First off, I would _always_ think Mountain Climbing is stupid. Why would I go to all the effort to climb up a freaking mile high rock, just to climb back down again? Seriously. Second, you had better tell me what's on your mind before I...before I..."

He smirked. "Before you what?"

Meredith huffed as she flailed for a response. What could she possible threaten that he would take seriously? "You know, you're supposed to be nice to me."

"I'm always nice to you. I love you."

"If you love you, you shouldn't be hiding things from me."

"It's not a thing, just an idea. A good idea. That I need you to take seriously."

"I swear to God, Derek..."

He laughed, leaning across the centre consol of his car to run his fingers along her cheek. "You're cute when you're angry."

"It's a good thing you think that, because I'm going to get a whole lot angrier in a minute."

Derek took his chances and kissed her. "You really are moody today."

She swatted at him. If she let him kiss her, she would lose her already slipping control of the situation. She _needed_ to know what he was planning. If only she had a way of getting it out of him...

Derek smirked and cocked his head and gave her the patented McDreamy look that always made her knees weak. But for the first time ever, Meredith found the strength to not only resist it, but turn it on him.

"Derek Shepherd, if you don't tell me what's going on right now I won't be having sex with you for a very long time."

His smirk fell away immediately.

Meredith sat up a little straighter, revelling in the obvious impact of her threat. "And you can blame that little move on your sisters as well."

"I cannot believe you would go there."

She huffed. "That's what you get for keeping secrets and trying to distract me by being all charmy and dreamy."

He raised an eyebrow. "Charmy?"

"Shut up. I was going for a thing..."

He laughed and leaned back into his seat. "How about I show you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Let me take you somewhere, and show you what I had in mind? Maybe you'll have calmed down a bit by then," he prodded with a laugh.

She smacked him, all the while biting back a laugh. He was baiting her, and he knew all her buttons. "Fine."

Derek finally turned on the ignition and put the car into gear. "I love you."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "You too...although sometimes I wonder why..."

He laughed and reached for her hand once they were on the road.

Meredith allowed Derek to hold her hand, and alternated between glancing at Derek and glancing around to see where they were headed. He was acting strange, which wasn't all that unusual for him, but there was something different about this time. He seemed worried about her reaction, even if he could joke about it.

They passed several restaurants, a movie theatre and a mall. Derek said nothing. They passed a Wal-mart and a grocery store. Still, Derek did nothing. It wasn't until they were approaching a car dealership that Derek began to slow the car. Meredith watched as he checked and rechecked his rear-view mirror, and then flicked on the turn signal.

She wondered for a moment if maybe he was doing this to toy with her head, to throw her off of his real secret whatever. But he drove the car right up to the building and turned off the ignition.

"We're at a car store," she stated.

"Yes."

Meredith stared at her husband for a long moment before glancing at the building, and then back at him. "Why are we at a car store?"

"Well, I thought maybe you would come and look at some cars with me...maybe come for a test drive..."

Meredith narrowed her eyes at him for a long moment. And then she went into action. "Seriously? Seriously!" She smacked him again. "This is what this whole thing is about? You want a new car? Seriously! You actually had me getting worried."

He laughed at her reaction, but then sobered quickly. "You're mostly right..."

"What do you mean?"

He hesitated. "Well... I was thinking maybe we could look for a new car...for you."

"What? No."

"See, this is what I told you would happen. You're immediately against the idea because-"

"Absolutely not." She said , cutting him off. She had a car. A perfectly good, working, in-one-piece car. This was insane.

"You can't just-"

"I can and I will. In fact, I already did."

He sighed. "Meredith, please..."

"I have a car, Derek. I like my car."

"Yes, but it's not in the best shape..."

"I've had my car since college."

He nodded. "Exactly my point. You're a doctor now, Meredith. You need a new car. The jeep is too old."

"Don't be calling my jeep old. College wasn't nearly as long ago for me as it was for you."

Derek blinked. "Okay, that was so uncalled for."

Meredith giggled. "I'm just getting you back for surprising me with this."

"It doesn't take away from the fact that you finished college, went to medical school, and are now a third year resident. You need a new car."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you-" He cut himself off. "This is stupid. We can't argue this like three year olds."

"Try me."

He groaned. "Meredith..."

"I don't need a new car."

"I think you do."

She sighed heavily, burying her face in her hands as she realized how serious he was. "Why are you doing this to me?" She mumbles through her hands.

His fingers grasped around hers, pulling her hands from her face. "I'd just like to point out that most women would be thrilled if their husband surprised them by taking them to get a new car."

"I'm not most women."

"You're not," he agreed easily. "And I love you for it, I really do. But the jeep is old."

"So is the Land Rover."

"But the Land Rover is an extra vehicle. I have a safe and reliable vehicle to drive is bad weather."

"Which we share in bad weather," she pointed out. "And in good weather, for that matter. Seriously, Derek, this is a moot whatever. We drive in together all the time."

"Not all the time," he countered. "And I would really feel better is you had your own safe and reliable vehicle..."

She pointed a finger at him. "I swear to God Derek, if I hear the words minivan or Volvo come out of your mouth..."

Derek laughed and leaned across the centre partition to kiss her again, only this time it wasn't about distracting her. It was about them, and the fact that they could still be _them_, even when they were disagreeing so strongly about something.

"You can get whatever you want, Meredith. Any brand. And model. Any colour. Any...anything. Just something new and safe."

"Derek-"

"Please."

She faltered at his tone. "But I like my car."

"You already said that."

"I meant it."

"You can like a new car. Hell, we can even keep the jeep. It can hang out with the Land Rover and keep it company..."

Meredith rolled her eyes at her husbands attempt at a joke. And the fact that he thought it was funny was what made it funny. "Why is this so important to you?"

He cocked his head again. "Do you remember the day of my first lecture, when you admitted that you like to know I get home safe?"

She nodded.

"This is kind of like that. I worry about you, Meredith. I know you don't need saving. And I know you don't like me being overbearing, but I... I still worry. I can't help it. I love you and I worry, and you're stuck with me."

"You're rambling."

He cracked a smile. "That's something _I'm _stuck with. You're a bad influence."

"I am not."

He kissed her again. "I love you, Meredith. I love you and I worry. And I would never forgive myself if something happened to you in that car. The winter is coming, and the weather will get bad, and... I'm a neurosurgeon, Meredith. I've seen far too many accident victims. I know what happens in an old car. Does your car even have airbags?"

"Of course it does."

He raised an eyebrow. "You know this for sure?"

She nodded. "Seen them myself."

Derek groaned. "Please don't tell me that means what I think it means..."

Meredith shrugged. "I went to school in Boston, Derek. Accidents happen."

"That's exactly my point."

She huffed. "The winters are a lot worse in Boston then here," she pointed out.

"Still..."

"The jeep had seen me through a lot, Derek," she tried to explain. "I can't just replace it..."

"It doesn't have feelings, Meredith."

She glared at him. "So not my point."

"Then what is your point? Because I don't see the reasoning behind keeping such an old vehicle."

"I like it."

"That's not a reason."

"It is for me."

Derek groaned. "Meredith, please..."

She closed her eyes, struggling not to fall for his tone. It was quickly taking on that begging quality that she couldn't resist. "I like my car," she repeated.

His hand found hers, squeezing it tight. "Does this mean something deeper?"

Her eyes opened on their own volition, meeting his. "What?"

Derek offered her a smile. "A lot has changed in your life in the last couple years. You moved across the country. You're a surgeon. Your mom died. You got married. We're building a house. Is holding onto the jeep an effort to resist more change?"

Meredith blinked. And then she blinked again. And then she was laughing. Deep breaths of humour came billowing up from deep inside her, taking all hints of tension with them.

Derek pursed his lips as he looked on in amusement. "I'll take that as a no."

She shook her head in agreement. "I have to call Kathleen and tell her how much affinity you have for her career."

He rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't dare."

Meredith hooked her fingers around the collar of his shirt and pulled him towards her. And she kissed him, long and hard. "I love you," she whispered when she pulled away, and rested her forehead against his. "The jeep isn't a symbol for anything. I like all the changes in my life, especially the ones related to you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she replied, pecking his lips.

His hands cupped her face. "That's good," he murmured, pressing his lips against hers. "That's very good."

She smiled at him after he kissed her one last time and released her.

"Will you come in and look with me?" He asked. "I won't make you buy anything."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay," she agreed after a long moment of contemplation. "But I'm not promising anything."

"That's all I'm asking for now."

"What do you mean 'for now'?"

"It's all baby steps with you. No sudden movements."

She huffed and bit back a laugh as he hurried out of the car before she had a chance to retort. "If I didn't love him so freaking much..." She muttered to herself as she slowly opened her door and moved to join her husband in the car showroom.


	8. Three Months Part 2

Clutching to the cool plastic of her cafeteria tray, Meredith made her way through the throngs of full tables, towards the outside of the food court where her friends were sitting. Cristina was absently picking at a salad as her eyes hungrily devoured the words printed on the textbook before her, while the other three were laughing together as they played what appeared to be go fish. Izzy was clearing winning.

Setting her tray down with a small bang, Meredith drew the attention of fours pairs of eyes. Having had the previous day off, she hadn't spoken to anyone in two days. "So, Derek wants me to get a new car. What do we think about that?"

Mouth half-full, Alex shrugged. "New car."

"Thanks, Alex, that was helpful..."

He shrugged again, before turning to George. "Sixes?"

George groaned and handed a card to Alex.

"What kind of car?" Cristina asked, momentarily moving her attention from her textbook.

"Any kind I want. It's more of a get rid-of-the-jeep thing than an I-want-you-to-drive-a-certain-kind-of-car thing."

"It's sweet," Izzy offered, "That he wants to buy you a car." She turned to George. "Hand over your nines."

George groaned again. "Is there a mirror behind me?" He didn't have any cards laid down in front of him. Alex had three pairs. Izzy appeared to have half the deck.

"Plus, the jeep sucks," Alex added, ignoring George.

"It does not."

"It kind of does, Mer," George spoke up.

"No, it doesn't," she fought again. "If anything sucks, it's you guys."

"Good comeback," Izzy said, and then turned to Alex, holding out a hand. "Threes."

Alex rolled his eyes as Izzy completed yet another set of four. "I say take advantage of the situation. Get Shepherd to buy you something sporty."

"No, she lives in the woods," Izzy said. "She wants something bigger, like an SUV."

"Or a pick up truck."

Meredith glared at her best friend.

"In case she ever wants to move," Cristina continued. "All she has to do is hitch up her home and be on her way."

"You guys seriously suck," she muttered as her friends laughed. "I've got a serious problem here."

"How is Shepherd wanting to buy you a car a problem?" George asked.

"Because I have a car."

"A pathetic excuse for a car." Alex added as he turned over his queens to Izzy.

"It's not. It works perfectly fine."

Izzy laid down another set of four, and looked up with a smile. "Look, Meredith, I'm not seeing what the problem is. You have a dreamy husband with perfect hair who wants to buy you a car of your choice. That's kind of most women's dream."

"Except the living in a trailer part," Cristina quipped.

"It's temporary!" Meredith hissed. "Another two months tops."

"Whatever," Cristina said with a shrug as she went back to her textbook.

Meredith groaned and buried her face in her hands.

"Meredith," Izzy said very carefully. "Are you starting to freak out about everything?"

"What?" She lifted her head.

"Well, you moved out of town-"

"Into a trailer in the middle of nowhere," Cristina butted in.

"And you got married," Izzy continued, ignoring her roommate. "And changed your name. And you have this whole new family now... It would be completely understandable if you were starting to freak out about everything."

"Have you been talking to Derek?"

"No. Why?"

"He thought it was because I wanted to hold onto some part of my old life, that I needed for something to not change."

"Maybe he's right, Mer," George offered.

"He's not right. And you guys aren't right. There's no freaking out here. I am officially freak out free. I'm happy. Is it a crime that I like my freaking car?"

"That piece of crap? Yes."

Meredith glared at Alex. "You suck at Go Fish; you don't get an opinion."

Cristina snorted. "Why don't we all meet at Joe's tonight? Then we can continue this conversation with alcohol. Maybe it will be a little less boring."

Meredith shifted her glare to her best friend. "Shut up."

Izzy laughed at the exchange, but offered Meredith a supportive smile as she took the remaining card in George's hand. "I think Joe's is a good idea. It's been a while since the five of us have gotten together anyway."

"As opposed to what we're doing right now?" Alex pointed out.

"Shut up and give me your tens."

"I can't anyway," George spoke up. "I'm on call."

"Same," Alex said.

Izzy shrugged. "So, it'll be just us girls."

"I'm out to," Meredith said. "There's a faculty thing at UW tonight."

"So?"

She shrugged. "So, Derek has to go."

"So?" Was asked again, this time from Cristina.

"So, I have to go and be his date or whatever."

"Why?"

Meredith shrugged again. "Apparently it's what you do when you get married. That, and try and force the people you love into giving up their car..."

000

Stumbling slightly on her heels, Meredith stepped out of the elevator, still acclimating to her increased height after a day of wearing sneakers. "Stupid shoes," she muttered.

As if on cue, Derek looked up from his spot on the bench seats near the door and smiled.

Meredith smiled back as she took him in. He was dressed in a suit, his face clean shaven and his hair perfectly styled. She licked her lips. He looked good.

"Hey," he greeted as he stood and leaned in to kiss her cheek, his hand finding hers. "You look beautiful."

She had chosen a dark green dress for the occasion, along with the necklace Derek had given her as congratulations for becoming a resident and the bracelet Carol had given her on her wedding day.

She squeezed his hand. "You don't look too bad yourself, mister."

He kissed her again, this time on the lips. "Mmm, you ready to go?"

Meredith nodded as she slipped on her jacket, smiling as Derek reached to straighten her collar. This would be the first time they had ever gone out together for an event that had nothing to do with the hospital where they both worked. And she found she was looking forward to it.

Taking her hand, Derek led her outside in comfortable silence. It wasn't until they were settled in the car, on their way to UW's annual Medical Faculty meet and greet, that he spoke.

"How was your day?"

She shrugged. "Quiet. I scrubbed in with Bailey this morning on a liver resection. And then I spent the afternoon on post-ops. You?"

"It was quiet, too."

"You had three surgeries."

He chuckled. "But all three were short, scheduled and uneventful."

"You still got to be in surgery."

"True," he said with a nod. "So, what did your friends say about the car idea?"

"What makes you think I told them?"

He sent her a knowing look. "Because I know you."

She huffed. "They don't seem to understand the problem."

He smirked. "Something we have in common..."

"Shut up."

Derek laughed, reaching for his wife's hand. "Have you...thought anymore about it?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And I need more time to think."

He laughed. "Okay."

She narrowed her eyes. "Seriously? Okay? That's all I get?"

"It's still September, Meredith. I want you to have something safe for the winter, which means I have at least another month before this starts to be more important."

"You planned this," she accused.

"Maybe a little."

"I still don't see what the problem is."

"I love you," he said, not as a statement, but as an answer.

Meredith raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware that that was a problem..."

He chuckled and shot her a sideways look. "That's never a problem. It just comes along with certain things; like wanting you to be safe."

"I am safe."

"You are," he agreed. "Right now, in my car – which scored high on its crash test rating – you are safe."

Meredith huffed and rolled her eyes.

Derek chuckled again. "I love you," he said again, only this time as a statement.

She sighed and eyed him for a long moment. "Can we drop this, please? At least for tonight?"

Derek brought the car to a stop at a red light before responding. He turned to his wife and smiled. "Of course."

Meredith met his eyes cautiously, and opened her mouth to speak, only to be shocked into silence by the look in his eyes. Along with the love she was now used to seeing, the humour he was exhibiting at her stubbornness with the situation and the general concern she had noticed when he had first mentioned a new vehicle, she now saw something more. Genuine concern. Worry. Pleading for her to go along with him.

She had married a man who went overboard with the concern thing. He could be very proactive; was prone to planning ahead in an effort to avoid regretting something later on. He loved her. And it would kill him were something to happen to her that he could possibly have foreseen and prevented; even if it were something as absurd as changing the vehicle she drove.

Meredith loved her jeep. But she loved her husband a hell of a lot more. And maybe she would have to do this for him. Maybe this was one of the marriage things she needed to get used to.

"I love you, too," she said at last. She didn't know what to say to address the look in his eyes, but he had told her he loved her twice in the past few minutes, so that was a safe answer.

His lips curled upwards on their own volition as he turned back to the road ahead in time for the traffic light to turn green. Once the car was back up to speed, heading for UW, Derek reached for his wife's hand.

Meredith smiled at the contact, tightening her fingers around his as her thumb idly stroked the back of his hand. "I'm thinking about it," she said softly.

"That's all I ask."

She bit back a wry smile as she rolled her eyes. "For a month at least..."

Derek laughed. "I love you," he said again, this time to placate her.

000

The meet and greet proved to be a surprisingly fun time for Meredith. It was the first time she had ever accompanied Derek to any social event, and it was nice to be introduced to people as his wife. They all saw Meredith and Derek as a perfectly normal married couple. It wasn't like at the hospital, where everyone knew about the intern-attending relationship, the surprise wife, the inevitable prom night fiasco, the appendix, the drowning, the dead mommy, the dead step mommy, the ex-ex-best friend who redeemed himself enough to be the best man again, the abusive father, the surprise wedding and, most recently, the moving into the trailer.

The simple acceptance, and lack of judgement or awe, proved for an entirely normal evening. Something Meredith was uncertain whether she had ever experienced before.

It was new.

And completely welcome.

After thirty years filled with abandonment, neglect, intimacy issues, and stress, fear and hesitation, it was nice to simply _be_ for once.

Meredith had finally reached _that_ place in her life. The place where she felt loved and wanted, and allowed herself to love freely. She was happy. She was comfortable and confident and certain in the decisions that had led her to this point, as well as her plans for the future.

Her _and_ Derek's plans for the future.

They both had the following day off, and had idled at the party. It was late now, as they boarded the nearly empty ferry that would take them home.

Derek easily followed the car the familiar pathway from the loading dock onto the parking level of the ferry. He parked near the front exit and turned off the car before turning to his wife. "Do you want to go up?"

Meredith offered him a warm smile and nodded. She got out of the car, and smiled again as Derek met her at the front, reaching for her hand before he led her towards the stairs that would take them to the passenger deck.

It was cool as they reached the top and exited the stairwell onto the main deck. Meredith wrapped her free arm around her middle and leaned into Derek's warmth as they wandered along the side of the boat. Derek quickly released her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. It was one of many silent gestures he did on a regular basis that Meredith wasn't even sure he was conscious of. They all just seemed so second nature to him; so natural.

Eventually they settled along the side of the railing, Meredith leaning against it, with Derek behind, his arms cocooning her.

"Hmm," she mumbled, leaning back against his solid chest. "This is nice."

"Mmm-hmm," he agreed.

"So warm and comfy and safe..." she whispered.

"You know what else is warm and comfy and safe?"

She shook her head.

Derek dipped his head so his chin was on her shoulder, his mouth right by her ear. "A new car..."

Meredith laughed and elbowed him playfully. "I walked right into that one..."

"You did," he agreed, planting a kiss on the side of her head.

"I thought we were dropping it for the night?"

"We did. It's after midnight."

She rolled her eyes. "Technicality."

Derek laughed at her dry tone. "Sorry..."

Meredith turned in his arms, hooking her hands behind his neck as she narrowed her gaze at him. "I don't believe you."

"That a new car is warm, comfy and safe, or that it's after midnight?"

"That you're sorry."

He chuckled. "But I am." He kissed her lips. "Very sorry." Another kiss. "So sorry that I'll have to find some way of making it up to you..." Another, much longer, kiss.

Meredith moaned into his mouth. "How do you...plan on...doing that...?"

He kissed her one more time, long and hard, until both were breathless. "I'll think of something."

Still panting, Meredith shuffled even closer, her front flush against his as she tucked her face into the crook of his neck and sighed. "I'm sure you will." It was nice that they could disagree about something, and still be so close. It showed Meredith maturity in herself that she hadn't realized she possessed, and a level of trust and love that she hadn't realized existed. And she suspected Derek felt the same way. His role in their relationship had changed over time. Yes, he was still the one who had done this before, but he was realizing more and more how much he had never been a true partner before. His marriage with Addison hadn't always been as bad as it had been right before Addison had gotten into bed with Mark, but Derek had never learned to truly let someone in. He had never allowed himself to be truly vulnerable. And he had never been truly happy and secure.

Meredith could still vividly remember his surprise at being asked to be an equal decision maker when they had first decided to move in together. Several attempts on her part had led to the same response from Derek; it was her decision and he would be happy wherever they lived.

Addison, assuming he didn't care, had never asked him for an opinion.

But Meredith hadn't accepted it. She had pushed for a reason towards his lack of input, which concluded in them both realizing they he may have done the relationship thing before, but he hadn't done it right. And as small a moment as that had been at the time, Meredith now believed it had been an important turning point for them.

"You know, there's this veto power thing," Derek said, one arm wrapped around her waist, holding her to him, and the other holding onto the railing of the ferry, keeping them both secure.

Meredith sighed and lifted her head to meet her husband's playful gaze. "A what?"

"When you get married, you get veto power."

She rolled her eyes. "You're so making this up."

"I'm not," he said quickly, pecking her lips.

"You _so_ are," she said with a laugh.

His eyes sparkled. "It's a real thing."

"Fine," she said dryly, playing along. "Go ahead and veto me not wanting to get a new car, and I'll veto you wanting me to get a new car."

His mouth twitched, but he managed not to laugh. "That's against the rules. You can't veto a veto."

"You can't just change the rules as you go along, even though you're making this up."

"You can't veto everything."

"And now you're changing the rules that you're making up as you go along."

"I'm not making up anything," he continued to banter. "I was just trying to explain that you only get a certain number in a lifetime."

She raised an eyebrow. "A certain number, huh?"

He nodded. "Of course. Everyone knows that."

She rolled her eyes. "How many?"

Derek paused for a moment, and Meredith almost laughed, knowing he was struggling to come up with a realistic number. "Five," he finally concluded.

"Five?"

He nodded, more confident. "Five vetoes in a lifetime. It's the rule."

"The marriage veto power lifetime rule."

"Most just call it the veto rule."

Meredith rolled her eyes again. "So, you get five in a lifetime, and you can't veto a veto... Is that it?"

"That's it."

"And everyone knows?"

He nodded.

Meredith reached into her pocket and withdrew her cell phone. "So, if I called your sisters right now, they'd confirm that this is a legit thing?"

Derek pursed his lips. "Of course."

She raised an eyebrow. "Really? Well, why don't I just confirm that..." She flipped open the phone.

"You don't need to do that now..."

"And why not?" She challenged him.

"Because it's almost four in the morning in New York."

"I doubt any of them would mind the early call for an opportunity to prove you a liar."

He scoffed. "I'm not a liar. I didn't make any of this up."

Meredith laughed. Even though they both knew he was joking, the man still couldn't lie. "Then you have nothing to worry about while I make this call..."

Derek snatched the phone away from his wife. "Fine. They won't back me up. But that's only because they always stand up for you."

Meredith shrugged. "They like me better than you."

He rolled his eyes. "They're traitors."

"Then let me call Cristina."

He shook his head. "Like she wouldn't want to prove me wrong."

"Izzy, then."

Derek still wouldn't give her back her phone.

"Come on," she prompted. "You know she'll be fair."

"She's still mad at me for stealing her photo card."

Meredith snorted at the memory. The night before Cristina's non-wedding, she and Derek had ended up sleeping together on the couch, and had awoken to Izzy taking their picture. Meredith had gotten the camera from her roommate, and Derek had given it back to her, after stealing the card, as a joke. "She'll still be honest."

He hesitated. "She won't know about it."

"I thought you said-"

"Only married people know about it," he said with a smirk.

"You're so full of crap."

"It's true," he insisted. "It's something you get told when you get married."

"It's been three months. Why am I only hearing about this now?"

"I guess I forgot to mention it."

Meredith giggled at his insistence and buried her face into his shoulder for a long moment. "I love you," she whispered. "Even if you do make things up."

"I don't-"

She cut him off when she raised her head and met his eyes. "You so just did. But..."

He raised an eyebrow. "I love my jeep, but I love you more. And I get that this is important to you, so...I'll get a new car."

"Really?"

"Really."

He beamed, and his shoulders sagged slightly beneath her hands, as if tension immediately left his body upon her words.

"But I'm not getting any of the ones we looked at the other day, because they all sucked."

"Okay."

"And I'm not driving a Volvo or a minivan or a...a...anything lame."

"Okay."

"And I get to declare what's lame and what isn't, not you."

"Okay."

"And..and..."

Derek smirked. "Out of demands?"

"Shut up."

He laughed. "You're being extra bossy today."

She glared at him.

Derek pecked her lips. "It's okay; I like it. It keeps me in line."

"Yeah, well, something has to. Especially when you go about making up rules..."

"I didn't-"

"You so did."

"Well, we don't have to use it..."

"But we're going to."

"I thought you didn't believe it was real."

"I don't," she responded. "But either way, what I see is that you've only got four vetoes left, while I have five, which means I'm winning."

He laughed. "You're something else, you know that?"

Her heart fluttered in her chest. "But you love me for it."

"I really do," he whispered, leaning in to kiss her.

When he pulled away, he stayed close, leaning his forehead against hers. They remained like that for several long moments before he finally broke the silence again. "Thank-you for getting a new car."

Meredith smiled and closed her eyes as she leaned into her husband's warmth and love and safety. "Thank-you for caring."

_**AN: The back ground for Derek's hesitance to add input into where they moved and about stealing Izzy's photo card is in What I'm Here For, chapters 25 and 9, respectively. It's been so long since WIHF that I wasn't sure if anyone still remembers.**_


	9. Four months

The office was nothing like what Meredith had imagined.

A large imposing desk where an immaculately dressed lawyer looked down on his clients from a high-powered chair, surrounded by pale walls displaying only educational certificates. Or a boardroom that created claustrophobia in even those with the strongest wills; its walls dark and imposing, with no windows to the outside world.

These were the settings of the dramatic fictional court cases depicted in television shows and movies, where unhappy couples battled out divorce settlements and custody arrangements, where brave groups of people stood up to powerful and corrupt organizations, where criminals were found guilty and sentenced to prison or worse, and where lives were changed forever.

Today's visit to the lawyer wasn't going to affect her life. It wasn't interesting or particularly noteworthy. And it definitely wouldn't be featured on a major television drama or motion picture, because really, it was pretty boring.

But to Meredith, it meant the world.

Their lawyer, a middle-aged, soft spoken and entirely unpretentious woman named Darlene, was a far cry from a potential fictional counterpart. She had met with Meredith and Derek twice before, and Meredith was surprised to find she had enjoyed the previous meetings. The only true experience she had with lawyers involved her mother; and the similarity of the two situations had left her wary of taking the same steps with Derek. The process had been far too stressful the first time, leaving Meredith filled with uncertainty.

But Darlene had made everything simple, from the first meeting where they discusses options, to the second meeting where they had made some changes, to now, where she patiently walked them through the legal documents, leaving Meredith filled with nothing but certainty this time around.

"Do either of you have any further questions?"

Meredith shook her head, smiling as she caught Derek's eye.

"Wonderful. I'll just call my assistant in to act as a witness," Darlene said with a smile as she stood and headed for the door.

"You ready for this?"

Meredith met her husband's questioning eyes, and offered him a soft smile. "Absolutely."

Derek's lips curled upwards. "Absolutely, huh?"

"What? You're not ready?"

"I'm ready," he assured. "Just finding humour in your enthusiasm."

"You mean you're making fun of my enthusiasm."

He smirked. "That too."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "You should be happy about my enthusiasm and leave it at that. A year ago this would have freaked me out."

His hand found her thigh, his thumb stroking soothingly back and forth. "A lot can change in a year."

She nodded her agreement. A year ago, she and Derek had only been living together for a few months. They weren't married, or even engaged yet. In fact, she could recall a specific conversation when the idea of signing over power of attorney to each other had first come up. And she was pretty sure it was a year prior, give or take a month.

"Okay," Darlene called as she re-entered the room, her assistant on her heels. "Are you ready to sign your lives away?" She laughed. "Sorry, a little occupational humour..."

"We should use that one on our patients."

Derek chuckled as he nodded his agreement, "Though I suppose that may make them reconsider surgery..."

Meredith giggled. "True. But there's no reconsidering here." She reached for the pen and sent a glance to Darlene, who nodded.

Without hesitation, pen met paper as Meredith signed the name that wasn't quite so new anymore.

_Meredith Shepherd._

It looked good, she had to admit to herself, sprawled across a signature line on a legal document. It looked _right_.

Derek slid the form towards himself as Meredith handed over the pen. And he too signed without second thought.

000

Meredith bit back a smile as she sat in the very comfortable seat of her brand new Jeep. The very comfortable _passenger_ seat of her new jeep. Derek was quite happily settled in the driver's seat, navigating the streets of Seattle to one of their favourite restaurants.

"You know," she drawled, "I'm beginning to think you made up the whole story about worrying for my safety as a ploy to get yourself a new car."

"What are you talking about?"

She smirked when he met her eyes for a moment. "This was supposed to be my new car, but you drive it all the time."

He glanced at her again, his eyes shining playfully, knowing she was baiting him. "I don't drive it that much."

"What are you doing right now?"

"That's not the point."

"I think it's the point."

He rolled his eyes. "Stubborn."

Meredith laughed and continued. "It's okay if you want it, Derek. I'm sure I can get my old jeep back..."

"Absolutely not. It took far too much convincing to get you to let go of the old jeep the first time. I'm not sure I could manage it again."

"I wasn't that bad."

"You so were."

"I wasn't as attached to the old jeep as you are to the new one," she countered.

The car rolled to a stop in a parking space, and Derek shifted it into park before turning to his wife. "I'm only driving now because you just got off a twenty-four hour shift, and said you were too tired to drive when I picked you up at the hospital this morning."

Meredith smirked. She had him. "I just thought it was suspicious that you were home last night, and chose to drive the jeep into town this morning, instead of _your_ car."

His lips flattened as he struggled for a retort.

Meredith giggled as she leaned over the centre consol and pressed her lips against his. "Just admit I'm always right, and I'll let it go."

He grumbled something in the back of his throat. "Never."

This time Meredith laughed aloud. "And you say _I'm_ the stubborn one."

He nodded. "I do."

She rolled her eyes. "Shoe calling the kettle black, much?"

Derek blinked, his lips slowly curving upwards. "_Shoe_ calling the kettle black?"

"Yeah, it's an expression."

His chest hitched as he tried not to laugh. "The expression is '_pot_ calling the kettle black.'"

"Or shoe."

"No, not 'or shoe.' A pot and a shoe are not the same thing."

"But you can't use pot for the other part of the saying."

"There is no other part of the saying."

"Yes there is; _if the shoe fits_."

"That's not the same saying."

"It means the same thing."

"No, it doesn't."

"Close enough."

Derek groaned. "The two expressions are for similar things, but not the same. You can't just combine them."

"Why not?"

"Because people won't understand you."

"You understand me."

"And I'd be the only one."

"Who's to say I would have said the expression to anyone else? Maybe I knew you'd understand."

He smirked. "You really are stubborn, you know that?"

"Do you really want to start this conversation again?"

"No, I really don't."

Meredith smiled. "And I win again."

Derek shook his head to himself as he silently got out of the car. Meredith met him on the sidewalk, deftly hooking her arm through his.

"I love you, my shoe," she giggled.

He rolled his eyes. "Now there's a nice sounding pet name..." He mumbled sarcastically.

"I thought so."

Derek paused, only steps from the restaurant doors, pulling his wife into a tight hug. "I love you too, Meredith, even if you are a little crazy."

Meredith smiled as she snuggled into her husband's strong chest. It still amazed her to realize just how much Derek loved and accepted her. All of her. Even the crazy, the stubbornness and the inarticulateness.

Running his hand up and down Meredith's back, Derek swayed them side to side ever so slightly. "Remember when we came here last summer?" He murmured into Meredith's hair.

"Mmm," she hummed. "You mean my impulsive attempt at asking you to move in with me?" After spending a couple weeks in town, Derek had travelled out to the trailer to pick up his mail, and upon seeing the pile of letters on the backseat of his car, Meredith had had an epiphany. However, the clarity of knowing she wanted to live with Derek didn't exactly lead into the knowledge of how to ask.

He smiled, hugger her tighter for a moment. "I really wouldn't refer to it as an attempt, seeing as you were successful and all."

"Fine; my impulsive, _successful_ attempt at getting you to move in with me."

Burying his nose in her hair, Derek laughed at his wife's tenacity. "Do you realize that day was almost a year and a half ago?"

"Mmm," she hummed against him. "Seems like longer."

"I was going to say it seems like yesterday."

Meredith lifted her head to meet his eyes, her gaze thoughtful and open with a new sense of clarity. "It doesn't seem like that day was that long ago," she agreed, "But I can still remember so clearly what it was like to do the moving in thing and all the other scary relationshippy things."

He tilted his head, running his fingers tenderly along her hair line. "But they aren't still scary, right?"

He was rewarded with a bright smile. "That's exactly my point. I can look back and remember how terrified I was at doing any on this. And now none of it's scary anymore. And the fact that we only moved in together less than a year and a half ago is a little shocking. Because I never would have thought I could get over all my stupid issues this quickly."

"They weren't stupid issues."

"They were," she retorted. "Or at least they seem stupid now. At the time they seemed...daunting."

His fingers ran through her hair. "Not so daunting anymore?"

"Mmm, not at all," she practically purred, tilting her chin into his and kissing him hard.

Derek smiled into her mouth as his lost himself in the feeling of being near the woman who had stolen his heart with such ease. "I love you so much," he murmured when she pulled away, not letting her get very far before he pecked her lips. Once. Twice. Three times.

Meredith giggled at his insistence. "We did the power of attorney thing today," she said, eyes bright and lips curled upwards.

"We did," he agreed.

"And we're married."

"Mmm, have been for four months now."

"And we're happy."

He kissed her again. "Very."

"It's kind of amazing, isn't it?"

"Mmm," he murmured, agreeing whole heartedly. Derek's heart warmed at her words; at her _enthusiasm_. Such a short time ago she had been reserved and withdrawn, not letting him pass through more than two or three of her many, many walls. And he had been defensive and desperate, and had lashed out time after time.

But now, she had less walls, and he was allowed to bypass each one. The desperation to be near her, for her to let him in, and to always know what was going on in her head had disappeared. She sometimes needed space, but never hid. He sometimes let his anger get the better of him, but she called him on it, they dealt with it, and then they moved on. She had learned to trust him; had discovered that he would love her regardless of what she said or did or revealed about herself, and had settled easily into an open and committed relationship. He had learned to trust her too; that he may never know exactly what went on in her head, but that she was hiding anything. Sometimes it just took her some time to get her thoughts organized.

"Derek," she mumbled into the sensitive skin of his neck, sending goose-bumps across his skin. "I love you."

"I love you too," he replied immediately, as if it were a built in response. His arms loosened around her middle, allowing her to lean back in his arms and meet his eyes. She had more to say, he could tell.

Her eyes sparkled in a way that still took his breath away. "I love you," she said again, "And I'm loving the whole hugging and cuddling thing we've got going right now..."

"But..."

She glared playfully at him before continuing. "And don't get me wrong, I'm especially looking forward to going home so we can celebrate the whole signing-our-lives-away-thing properly-"

Derek smirked. "We could just skip lunch and go straight to the celebrating. I do believe we have a new car to christen..."

Meredith released him for long enough to smack his should with her hand. "But that's exactly my point."

He raised an eyebrow. "That you want to christen the jeep?"

She ignored him this time. "That we need to actually go _into_ the restaurant and do the lunch celebrating thing, so that we can get to the naked celebrating thing. Because, Derek, I haven't eaten since some time yesterday afternoon, and I'm freaking starving."

He kissed her quickly, like a habit. "Why didn't you say something sooner?" He baited her, securing one arm around her waist as he led her the last few steps into the restaurant. "We definitely need to get you some food. We do, after all, have lots of the other kind of celebrating to do."

Meredith didn't have a chance to respond, and waited silently as Derek talked to the Maitre' D, requesting them a table by a window. They were left to wait for a moment, and Meredith leaned her head against Derek's strong shoulder. He was always there to hold her up. Every time they took a big step, like they had today, he waited until she was ready. But he waited in a content way, that didn't make her feel inadequate for not being ready. And when they were both ready and took the step, she was now able to enjoy it. Because it wasn't scary.

And today she had, as the lawyer had put it, signed her life away. And that felt good. Because he loved her enough that he was wiling to take full responsibility for her should the situation ever arise. He loved her enough that he knew what she would want done in any conceivable situation. And he loved and _trusted _her enough that he hadn't hesitated to sign his own life and decisions to her. Because she would take responsibility for him should the need arise, and she would know what he would want.

"I'm happy, Der," she murmured. "Today's a good day."

His arm found her far shoulder, pulling her into a half hug, and his lips found the side of her head as she continued to lean against his shoulder. "I'm glad you're happy, Mer, but I assure you that you'll be even happier later."

She lifted her head to give him a questioning look.

He smirked. "When we're christening the jeep..."

Meredith rolled her eyes, laying her head back against his shoulder as she muttered, probably in futile, "_My _jeep."

_**AN: As you've probably caught on, I'm trying to give a glimpse of their lives every month or so after the wedding, usually in two parts. I spent the better part of a week trying to have this chapter end leading into the second part, but (like Meredith) it was futile. Lol. So, there will be a second part to month four coming soon (and I actually mean soon now). The good news is there will be two parts at month four and a half, and the first part is already written. And I'm sure there will be more than two parts to month five, and if you do the math (wedding was in June) and remember what happen a year ago (in What I'm Here For), then you have a good idea of what month five will be...**_


	10. Four Months part 2

_**AN: So, 'Four Months' is now being split into 3 parts. This part went long, and I really liked leaving it where I did (you'll understand), because Derek needs to get the last word occasionally...**_

With a smirk on her face and a large cup of coffee in her hands, Meredith pushed through the heavy wooden doors of the lecture hall and quickly ducked into one of the back rows. Her husband had been teaching at UW for almost two months now, and still had yet to invite her to one of his classes.

Meredith was now taking matters into her own hands.

She hadn't told him she was coming, and so had to stay hidden as long as possible. The class was scheduled to begin in less than ten minutes, but the lecture hall was mostly full. Derek was down at the front, conversing with a few students. Meredith smiled as she watched him nod along to whatever it was they were discussing. Teaching was definitely his element.

Derek paused in his conversation and turned toward the crowd. Meredith winced and hurried along the back row of seats, quickly plopping down next to a dark haired girl with a coffee that matched hers. She kept her eyes trained closely on Derek, and allowed herself a triumphant smile when he looked away from the crowd. She had flown under his radar.

"I haven't seen you here before."

Meredith glanced to the girl next to her. "No, I uh..." She trailed off, struggling for a valid reason to be there. It had never occurred to her that her presence would be questioned by a med student.

The girl shrugged. "It seems to be a pattern with this class; every week there seems to be more people."

Derek hadn't mentioned that to her. "Yeah, well," she stammered, "Neurosurgery. It's interesting."

"I think its Dr. Shepherd that everyone finds interesting. The majority of the newcomers are female."

Derek definitely hadn't mentioned that.

"I used to sit closer to the front, but I couldn't stand the whispers and gaga eyes some of the girls were sending him. It's quieter back here. I can enjoy the material." She shrugged. "Not that Dr. Shepherd isn't easy on the eyes..."

Completely void of anything to say, Meredith nodded absently and took a sip of her coffee.

"I'm Tracy, by the way."

"Meredith." She shook Tracy's hand.

"What year are you in?"

"Uh, I'm not so much in med school as I am...uh... I guess you could say I'm auditing the course?"

Tracy raised an eyebrow. "Is that a question?"

Meredith laughed. "It's kind of a long story. What year are you in?" She asked, getting the focus off of herself.

"Third. Past the half-way point, finally. Really looking forward to placement next year."

"Yeah, that's fun. You don't get to do or say anything, but it's still fun."

"You sound like you speak from experience."

"I finished med school a few years ago."

Tracy furrowed her brow. "Then why are you auditing a course? I can't wait to get out of school. When I graduate, I doubt I'll ever want to see another lecture hall or classroom again."

"That's part of the long story."

"Duly noted."

Meredith smiled. The girl reminded her of a cross between Cristina and Izzy; intuitive and straight forward, mixed with curiosity and openness. "Where do you want to specialize?"

"Surgery. I always thought it would be internal medicine, or that I'd fall in love with non-surgical specialty. But the surgeons who teach here are so much more enthusiastic than anyone else. It's kind of contagious."

Meredith nodded. She could remember one professor in particular from Dartmouth, an aging orthopaedic surgeon, who had a habit of going off on long tangents about surgeries he had performed over the years. _His_ enthusiasm for orthopaedics made Callie seem dull and disinterested.

"How about you? What did you choose?"

"Surgery."

"Which subspecialty?"

"I haven't declared yet. I'm a third year resident, so I don't have to declare until the end of the year. But I'm pretty sure it's going to be neuro."

"Explains why you're here."

Meredith nodded, and took another sip of her coffee, covering for herself as she sighed in relief. Not only had she flown under Derek's radar, but Tracy's as well.

"Although," Tracy continued, a sparkle in her eye, "Dr. Shepherd's wife is also a surgical resident."

Meredith almost choked on her coffee. Maybe she hadn't flown under Tracy's radar.

"Her name's also Meredith."

She definitely hadn't flown under Tracy's radar.

"Fine; you caught me. He hasn't let me come to a lecture yet, so I snuck in- Wait, how do you know about me?"

"He talks about you," Tracey said simply.

"In his lectures?"

She nodded. "All the time. He uses a lot of case studies, tells a lot of stories. And most of them involve 'my wife this' and 'my wife that.'"

Meredith glared at her husband from well over a hundred feet away. "I'm going to kill him."

Tracy laughed. "He doesn't say anything bad. Although he has told us that you _are_ specializing in neuro..."

Meredith had to laugh too. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me. He's been pushing neuro on me from day one. Not very helpful when I'm supposed to be getting experience in everything. Especially with his sister pushing general and his best friend pushing plastics..."

"Mark Sloan?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"He mentions Dr. Sloan a lot too."

"Oh, that's...strange..."

Tracy laughed. "He likes to tell us, at least once a class, why neuro is better than plastics."

"Okay, not so strange anymore." She pursed her lips. "Did he tell you about Mark and the ugly bowl?"

Before Tracy could respond, Derek began his class.

"Let's get started," he called from the front of the lecture hall. The class immediately grew silent, lending him their collective attention.

"I know midterms are right around the corner, and I'm sure everyone is eager to get away from here and back to their studying..." He laughed good naturedly with the class. "Anyway, I thought we'd use today's class to review as much material as possible. I have a number of case studies lined up, that we're going to go over from beginning to end, and see if anyone can solve them."

"Do we get bonus marks on the midterm if we solve them?" A male voice from somewhere near the front called out.

Derek chuckled. "I'll tell you what; I'll put a case study on the exam, and if you get that one right, you'll get some bonus marks."

Everyone nodded their agreement, and Derek proceeded – with only minimal struggle – to open his powerpoint presentation onto the large screen above him. "Okay, let's have some fun."

"Fifteen year old female, presenting with new onset seizures, intermittent for one week. What do we need to know?"

"_What kind of seizures is she having?_" Called out a student near the middle.

"Good question," Derek replied with an approving nod. "Grand mal." He pressed a button to display the basic information on the screen behind him.

_"Do the seizures respond to medication?" _Another student called out. It seemed to be a pattern. Derek ran his lecture hall like a small, interactive lab group.

He nodded again. "Currently, yes. Diazepam."

_"Any problems with other vitals?"_

"Not currently. Patient is breathing on her own. Pulse and PB are normal. What do we do next?"

"_EEG. Fifteen is older than most are diagnosed with epilepsy, but still common enough."_

_"Who says it's epilepsy?" Another student argued. "She's a teenager. I say it's drugs. Run a tox screen."_

_"Or it could be a tumour," said another. "Run a CT."_

_"No, run a CBC and chem-7. This could be as simple as an infection or metabolic disorder."_

_"She could have a birth defect."_

_"That didn't show up until she was fifteen?"_

_"It's possible."_

_"But not likely."_

"Okay!" Derek called, holding up a hand. "You all have valid points. Don't fall into the trap of assuming every seizure you see is epileptic."

"_Are you saying this one wasn't?"_

Derek pursed his lips, and then nodded. "For the sake of moving through this case study I will tell you it isn't. When we ran the EEG, it was negative. But we didn't run it first. Can anyone tell me what we did run first?" He held up a hand before anyone cut him off. "And keep in mind that you can't run every test at once."

_"Tox screen."_

_"CBC."_

_"CT."_

_"Chem-7."_

"Scans take time to get," he reminded. "So we start with what we can get. And that includes a tox screen, CBC and chem-7. Now, what are we looking for in the tox screen? What drugs would cause seizures?"

"_Amphetamines."_

"Good. What else?"

_"Cocaine."_

"Also correct, but what else?"

Silence.

"Come on, you guys know this. Stop thinking only illegal drugs."

_"Certain medications."_

"Good. Like what?"

_"Chlorpromazine."_

_"Certain medications used in treating mood discorders."_

_"Some antibiotics."_

_"Cyclosporine."_

_Someone scoffed. "I doubt the patient is on anti-rejections drugs. Fifteen is a little early to have gone through an organ already."_

_"It could have been a familial defect. She may have had a transplant when she was a baby."_

_"And just started seizing a week ago?"_

_"Maybe her medication was changed."_

_"Or maybe she screwed up a dose."_

"Good; you're thinking now. Don't ever forget about the history. Always ask questions."

_"So, we're right?"_

"Not even close."

_"Then why ask us?"_

"To make you think. Sometimes diagnosing is about ruling out as much as you can. For the record the patient's seizures were not caused by any drugs or medications. But we also ran two other tests. What was the point of the chem-7?"

"_To look for metabolic issues."_

"Good. Like what?"

_"Abnormal levels of sugar or sodium."_

_"Or calcium."_

_"And magnesium."_

_"What about creatinine? Or other liver and kidney enzymes. Liver and kidney failure can both cause seizure activity."_

_"Again, she's a little young to have gone through an organ."_

_"Plus, I doubt her tox screen would be normal."_

_"Alcohol and drugs aren't the only reason organs can be damaged. Genetic disease. Infection. Physical damage. We should take a DNA sample and have it tested for markers."_

"You're thinking, but you're getting ahead of yourselves. Her chem.-7 was unremarkable."

_"What about her CBC?"_

Derek smiled. "Good question. What result were we most interested in?"

_"Her white count."_

"Good. Why?"

_"High white count equals infection. And infections can lead to seizures."_

"Excellent."

"_So, that's it? She has an infection?"_

Derek shook his head. "Nope. Her white count was normal; as were the rest of her CBC."

A collective groan was released.

"What do we do next, assuming we've ruled out epilepsy?"

"_Run a CT."_

"CT was clear."

Silence.

Derek smirked. "I guess this is a good time to tell you that this patient was transferred to my hospital, because the first hospital she was treated at couldn't diagnose her."

_"Then it has to be something rare. Run the genetic markers."_

"We don't have time to wait for the results. Less than a day in our hospital and her heart stopped during a grand mal seizure."

_"There are a number of diseases she could have that wouldn't necessarily increase her white count. Meningitis, or encephalitis."_

_"Or tetanus."_

_"Rabies."_

_"Syphilis."_

_"In a fifteen year old?"_

_"It's possible."_

_"AIDS."_

_"Has she been out of the country? Malaria can cause seizures."_

"Excellent points. But you're all wrong. You're missing something."

Silence reigned again, as everyone struggled to come up with the solution. Meredith smirked to herself as she sat back in her chair. The answer seemed so obvious now.

"You know the answer, don't you?" Tracy whispered. She had been scratching notes onto her pad of paper, and then violently crossing off possibilities.

Meredith nodded.

"I kind of hate you right now."

She laughed. Tracy was definitely reminding her more of Cristina than Izzy.

"Are we stuck?" Derek asked.

_"I get that you're making us think, but how are we supposed to solve this? We're just med students, and you've been doing this for years."_

"I didn't solve this case," Derek admitted. "I was as stuck as you were. The patient's vitals were getting worse, she was no longer responding to her meds, and I couldn't diagnose her. And without a diagnosis, I couldn't treat her."

There was a pause. "_She didn't die, did she?"_

He shook his head. "No, she didn't die. I was approached by a very remarkable intern, who took the time to listen to the patient." He smirked and lifted his eyes up, not hesitating as he looked right to Meredith.

Meredith felt a whoosh of air leave her lungs as Derek met her eyes for an extended moment. Apparently she hadn't flown under anyone's radar. He smirked again, raised an eyebrow and then went back to his class.

"How does he possibly know I'm here?" She hissed.

"Were you the intern?" Tracy asked.

She nodded. "It was a fluke, really..."

"I'm a little disappointed," Derek was saying. "None of you have asked for any recent history. We have a fifteen year old who is dying, and yet was perfectly healthy a week ago. This is something new. Something our tests haven't been able to pick up."

_"If anything major happened to her a week ago, you would have told us."_

"I didn't tell you anything more than I was told. Never fall into the trap of assuming you will be told what you need to know. Always take an interest in your case; always ask questions. These questions save lives."

"_Did she suffer an emotional trauma a week ago? Sometimes emotional distress can be manifested physically."_

"No emotional trauma. But she did trip during a rehearsal for...some dance thing she did."

_"It couldn't be trauma, or the CT would have picked it up."_

"What if it was something the CT couldn't pick up?"

"_What's the point in getting a CT if a clear scan doesn't mean nothing is wrong?"_

"Because most of the time, the CT will find it. Trust your tests, but if you run into a brick wall, you need to take a step back and ask what could have been missed. Go back to okum's razor. She's young, and was previously in good health. She's not on drugs, or taking any medication. All of her labs were clean."

_"It's got to be something neurological. Have we done a spinal tap?"_

"Spinal tap was clear."

_"So it's something physical."_

_"And small enough that the CT couldn't pick it up."_

_"A tumour?"_

_"But she had a fall right before the seizures started. Odds are that's not a coincidence."_

_"An aneurism," a student said suddenly._

_Another nodded. "A small one; so small it wouldn't have been caught on the CT."_

_"Something she probably had from birth."_

_"But the odds of something like that being dislodged is-"_

"One in a million," Meredith whispered, as her husband announced the same odds to the class.

"And Okum's Razor tells us to consider everyone within the nine-hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine-hundred and ninety nine people whose aneurisms wouldn't have dislodged, but everyone once in a while you will run into this. It shouldn't be your first thought, or even your second or third, but it should always be in the very back of your mind, just in case."

_"So, what happened to the patient?"_

"You tell me. How would we have diagnosed?"

_"Angiogram."_

"Exactly. Angiogram showed a very minor sub-arachnoid haemorrhage. We caught it in time." He smirked. "The patient wasn't happy that surgery involved shaving her head, but the surgery did save her life. Which is another reason neuro is better than plastics; our patients may not come out of surgery looking better, but we save lives."

The class laughed at his insistence. Obviously the neuro versus plastics thing was quite regular.

"Anyway, we were completely successful, and the patient went back to her dance thing. In fact, I got a letter from her a year later, after her hair had grown back, telling me that she had won her pageant with her dance thing."

_"It must have been awesome, that you saved her."_

He smiled. "It was pretty amazing." He looked up to meet Meredith's gaze once more. "Quite the high."

She smiled softly back at her husband, remembering how awkward things had been between them that day. How humiliated she had been when she had first spotted her one-night stand in the hospital. How determined she had been to stay away from him, to resist his charm.

_"And an intern figured this out first?" A student asked, pulling Derek's attention from his wife._

He nodded. "During her very first shift."

_"Impressive," said a male voice. "I'd kill to be the intern."_

Derek smirked. "I'd have to admit that I'm glad you're not. You see, I ended up marrying her, and you're not really my type."

The class laughed.

"My wife seems to think she's always right," Derek continued. "But my next case also involved her. And this time I was right."

With one last smirk upwards to his wife, Derek presented the case.

"Male, early forties, presented with spreading paralysis after a short fall rock climbing..."


	11. Four months part 3

Deep in conversation with Tracy about elective courses, fourth year placement, and the ins and outs of surgical residency applications, Meredith was interrupted by the clearing of a throat.

The clearing of her husband's throat.

After the class had ended, a flock of students had headed to the front of the lecture hall to discuss the material with Derek. Meredith had originally planned to slip out of the classroom, drive home and playfully pretend she hadn't been anywhere near UW. It would have been especially fun to see what techniques of persuasion he would have used to get her to admit anything.

But Meredith had screwed up her plan. She had fallen into conversation with her newfound friend, and had failed to notice the lecture hall thinning out. A few small spatterings of students were still present, discussing the class and scheduling study meets for the following week's exams. But Derek was no longer being questioned by eager students, giving him ample opportunity to sneak up the stairs and surprise his wife.

With a slight wince, Meredith turned to face her husband. "Hey," she offered, pasting a nonchalant expression onto her face, as if her being in one of his lectures was perfectly normal and expected. "Good class. Very insightful."

He rolled his eyes. "Are you planning on coming home tonight? Or are you going to stick around here for a while, and try and pick up on some of the things you missed in med school, like traveling paralysis..."

She laughed, despite herself, and turned back to Tracy to say goodbye. "Give me a call after your exams, and I'll sneak you into the OR gallery."

"For sure."

Derek rolled his eyes once more as Meredith followed him into the halls of the university. She had only been here once before, for the faculty meet-and-greet the previous month, and hadn't seen his office yet. "You know, I'm probably not supposed to know that you're planning on sneaking someone into the OR gallery."

She shrugged and playfully bumped his shoulder as she walked beside him. "Don't worry. I'm pretty sure there are rules about that stuff."

He furrowed his brow. "What stuff?"

"Testifying against your spouse."

Laughter escaped his lips, full and hearty. "I think that's only in legal settings."

"Whatever."

He led them down a corridor to the left. "So, are we going to talk about why you're here?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't."

"I don't."

"Hmm, I believe you," he mumbled, sarcasm filling his tone.

"It's true."

They turned right and then stopped as Derek pulled a set of keys out of his pocket. "Liar."

"I have every right to be here."

"Technically, you don't," he pointed out, turning the key in the lock and opening his office door. "Everyone else in that classroom paid tuition."

"I thought dependents of professors got free tuition?"

He pursed his lips. "I wouldn't exactly qualify you as a dependent..."

She smiled as he ushered her out of the hallway. "What would you qualify me as...?"

Derek spun her around; pressing her back against the closed door behind her and leaning in, one hand on either side of her shoulders, trapping her. His breath was hot against her neck. "Sexy," he purred, pressing his lips against her neck. "And irresistible." He kissed the other side of her neck. "And adorable when you try to be sneaky."

She opened her mouth to argue, but was cut off when his lips came crashing down on hers, expertly parting her lips and drawing her deeper and deeper. He pressed against her, and Meredith felt a familiar burning ignite inside of herself, spreading quickly as his hands roamed upwards from under her shirt, his fingers dancing against his skin.

"Derek," she moaned when his lips finally released hers for air. Her lips were already swollen, tasting of him. The world around her was a little fuzzy; the only thing she could see clearly was the blueness of Derek's eyes. And she was pretty sure the only reason she was still upright was his body pressed so firmly against hers.

He could turn her on so quickly. She pressed into him, and smirked to herself as Derek groaned her name. Apparently she could turn him on just as quickly.

"I guess we're...christening your...office," she murmured between pants, her fingers in his hair, guiding Derek's talented lips down her neck to her clavicle. His hands found her breasts and pushed her bra upwards.

"Mmm," he moaned against her sensitive skin. "I guess we are."

"There's no...couch...like at Grace..."

"We'll have to use the desk." He lifted his lips from her collar bone and met her eyes, his sparkling and blue.

Meredith moved her hand to his cheek. "That sounds very unprofessional, professor Shepherd..."

He pecked her lips. "We're newlyweds. It's out right to have sex wherever and whenever we want."

She giggled. "Then lock the door."

* * *

"I like your office," Meredith muttered as she half sat, half lay on the desk, Derek still practically on top of her.

He chuckled breathily against her neck. "Mmm, me too. Especially now. This will definitely make a good memory."

"As long as it's a private memory."

"We'll see..." He retorted, though they both knew he was kidding.

Meredith closed her eyes for a long moment, revelling in the feeling of being sated and naked and in Derek's arms. It was always so safe, this moment. So safe. It was a time where she never questioned the future, where she never questioned her ability to be an equal partner in a marriage. Not that she questioned the insecurities and the fears much anymore, because there really weren't all that many left. A few fleeting issues would surface from time to time, but they were far less than debilitating now.

Eventually breathing became a little too difficult, and one simple hand to his chest had Derek understanding exactly what she was telling him. He stood up straight, bringing her with him, her upper torso still wrapped snugly in his arms. "I love you," he murmured, pressing his swollen lips against hers.

"I love you more."

"Not possible."

"Let's call it a tie right now."

He arched an eyebrow. "Admitting defeat?"

She snuggled into his chest, not quite ready to be any further away from him, and buried her face in the crook of his neck. "I think I'm still seeing stars behind my eyelids, Derek. Wait for the endorphins to fade, and then I'll be better able to argue." She inhaled deeply, her lips curling upwards at the musky, male scent that was her husband.

He ran his hand up and down her bare spine. "We should get dressed and get home so we can continue this."

"Mmm, good idea," she whispered, but made no move to leave the warmth of his embrace.

"Do I have to be the strong one today?"

"Definitely. I could stay like this forever."

"Me too." He laid his head against hers.

"I thought you were going to be the strong one?"

"In a minute." And true to his word, after an extended minute, Derek sighed and, with one last kiss on the forehead, he released his wife and turned to dress. Meredith echoed his sigh and followed his lead, not even trying to hide her smile as he passed her the panties he had pulled off of her.

"I guess we shouldn't forget these again..."

She giggled and kissed him as she snatched the panties from fingers. "Thanks." She quickly pulled them on, followed by her pants. "So, this office is a little smaller than at Grace, huh?"

He nodded. "But I barely spend any time here." He had office hours once a week, but other than that it didn't get used. But it still showed distinct signs of him. A few journals sat on the filing cabinet beside the desk, and a copy of their wedding picture was pinned to the corkboard on the wall, beside a newer photo.

"I haven't seen that," she commented, stepping up to the wall for a better look. She recognized the picture as having been taken during the faculty meet-and-greet. Derek was wearing a causal suit, his hair impeccably styled as usual, and she was dressed in a dark green dress. They were both holding small plastic wine glasses, Derek's hand on the small of her back as they smiled at the camera.

"They gave it to me the week after the party, but I keep forgetting to bring it home."

"It looks very holiday-y"

He snorted at her made-up word, but nodded anyway. "That's what I thought. I was thinking we could use it for our Christmas card."

Meredith blinked. "Our what?"

"Christmas card," he repeated.

"I'm sorry, I still don't understand what you just said."

"Well, Christmas is a holiday in late December. And people often send cards to friends and family in regards to said holiday."

She smacked her hand across his shoulder. "I meant I don't understand the photo part..."

"That's what people do," he said lightly, a smile playing across his lips as it did every time she was floundered by something so domestic and normal. "They make unique cards, with a picture of themselves. It makes the cards more personal. And my mother uses them to brag to her sister that she has more grandkids."

Meredith let out a laughing breath. Carol and her sister had been in a friendly competition regarding numbers of respective grandkids since the first one was born (on Carol's side), and Carol was currently up one.

"So," he prompted. "What do you think? Can we use it for our Christmas card?"

Meredith blinked twice, and then shook her head. "No, Derek... no."

"Okay. Did you want to have pictures taken professionally...?"

"What? No. No pictures."

"But-"

"And no cards. Cards are... It's just... no."

Derek cocked his head. "Why not?"

"Because. Christmas cards are for-" She cut herself, and tears welled inadvertently in her eyes at her unspoken words. _Families_. Christmas cards were for families. Annoyingly happy families.

Like the one she was apart of.

"Hey," he cooed, clutching her elbow with one hand and cupping her face with the other. "It's okay. We don't have to do a card this year."

"I'm sorry," she breathed fiercely. "I'm sorry I keep being surprised by these things."

He kissed her. "There's no reason to be sorry, Meredith. I know this is all new to you."

"It's not that..."

"Then what?"

She sniffed, and answered in a whisper. "Christmas cards are for families."

"Yeah," he agreed easily, searching her eyes for more, not stopping to think about her statement, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to him.

"And we're a family," she added, still whispered, almost as if saying it louder would break it.

His face broke out in a smile as he pulled her into his chest. "Oh, Meredith, what am I going to do with you?"

"We're a family," she repeated, a little louder. "Like, a real family. Legal and official and all that."

"Mmm-hmm," he murmured, his eyes smouldering in a way that, if it weren't for their previous activities, would have Meredith jumping him.

"I'm not an idiot," she pointed out. "I knew it before, what it meant to get married and everything, but this... I just sort of realized... you know? We're a real, freaking family. We're expected to send out lame Christmas cards."

"Hey, they're not-"

"Oh, they so are, Derek."

He rolled his eyes. "Maybe I'll just send one out by myself..." He pretended to pout.

"Because that wouldn't be even more lame..."

He smiled and shook his head. "What am I going to do with you?"

She returned his smile, but ignored his comment. "We're a family, Derek. A small one, maybe, but a real one."

"Mmm, we are. But Mer, you've been my family for...ever."

Her smile grew. "Forever, huh?"

He nodded. "Absolutely."

"It's a nice feeling."

"You have another family," he pointed out.

"I know. And don't get me wrong; they are my family, but...there's just something different about this."

"It's the sex."

She rolled her eyes.

"Although," he continued, "Speaking of your other family... You may want to coach Izzy on her lying skills."

"Why is that?"

He smirked. "How do you think I knew you were coming tonight?"

Her jaw dropped. "You knew I was coming ahead of time?"

He nodded.

"For how long?"

"Two days."

"But...how?"

"As I said; Izzy can't lie. She mentioned something about working tonight, and then visibly panicked when she realized she was supposed to be your alibi tonight, and then came up with a hundred and one reasons to backtrack on what she said. And then she approached me hours later to confirm I believed her. It didn't exactly take a genius to figure out you were planning something, and with the amount of hints you've been dropping about coming out to a lecture... Well, let's just say it wasn't all that hard to figure out."

Meredith covered her face with her hands. "I'm going to kill Izzy."

"The amazing part is that I actually think she thinks she fooled me."

"Yeah, well, I didn't fool anyone today. Tracy knew I was your wife within minutes-"

"Who's Tracy?"

She rolled her eyes. "Your student. Seriously, Derek, you should know their names."

"There's well over a hundred. And there seem to be more every week."

"A little tidbit you failed to mention to me...especially the part where all the new students are female..."

"Coincidence."

She rolled her eyes. "Arrogant."

He kissed her. "I only have eyes for you."

"Cheesy."

"Maybe; but it's true. Now, let's get out of here so we can go home, and you can find some way of making up for the fact that you tried to sneak into my class..."

"Or you can find some way of making up to me that you talk about me in your classes..."

He floundered, but recovered quickly. "Only true things. And only good things."

She smirked, knowing she had him. "So, what was that thing you told them about me already having declared neuro...?"


	12. Four and a Half Months

_**AN: Did anyone else know that, according to wikipedia, neurosurgery is one of the four most competitive medical specialties, along with orthopaedic surgery, otolaryngology and...DERMATOLOGY! I couldn't help but share that little tidbit I discovered. "They just really love lotion!" LOL – gotta love Cristina.**_

Meredith felt like crap. She was hot and cold at the same time. The world wasn't exactly spinning, but wasn't quite as stable as she liked it. Her entire body hurt, from the throbbing pain behind her eyes to the sore bottoms of her feet. And her insides felt like they were trying to escape her body through every pore.

She should be curled up at home in bed, but for some reason unknown to her, she was at work. Well, the reason behind her being at work wasn't exactly unknown. She had been feeling fluish the previous day, and when she had woken that morning she had felt worse. Derek had told her she should stay home and sleep.

And, had she not been feeling unusually stubborn and argumentative, she may have agreed. However, she had been determined to prove him wrong, leaving her in this crappy situation where they both lost.

God, she wanted to lie down.

"Grey, you look like you should be a patient, not a doctor." Her former resident, and then Chief Resident, now a surgical fellow, had resorted back to calling her Grey. Professionally, she referred to Meredith as Dr. Shepherd, but in situations like this she was always _Grey; _never Meredith. Evidently she was against calling anyone by their first names, and Shepherd was reserved solely for Derek.

"I'm fine, Dr. Bailey."

"If I had a dollar for every time I've heard you tell me that, I'd be a rich woman."

Meredith groaned as a wave of nausea flared inside her, cutting off any thought of response.

Bailey sighed. "You're in no condition to be treating patients. Why don't you get that husband of yours to take you home?"

She shook her head.

"Is he in surgery?"

Meredith opened her eyes, having fought off the urge to throw up. "I don't know."

"If he isn't in surgery-"

"Then the answer is still no."

Bailey narrowed her eyes at her younger protégé. Two years of being Meredith's immediate boss had given her a good read. "Why?"

"Because then he'd be right."

With a roll of the eyes, Bailey scoffed. "Oh, for the love of- You're sick, Grey. You need rest."

"It's just a few more hours."

"Hours you need to spend sleeping. You look horrible. I get that Shepherd thinks he's right about everything, but he's obviously right in this case."

"But-"

"Go home, Grey."

Before Meredith could retort, Bailey's pager went off. "I have to take this," she stated before returning her eyes to Meredith's. "I'm officially sending you home, regardless of whether Shepherd takes you, or you take yourself. If I hear that you stayed, I'll go to Harris and the Chief, and have you kept out of surgery for a month."

"That's not fair."

"Do you want me to make it two?"

Meredith opened her mouth, but quickly clamped it shut and shook her head. "I'll go home."

000

Hours later, Meredith awoke to a gradually growing feeling of nausea. She groaned and rolled onto her side, trying to determine why her stomach was so upset, when she hadn't fed it anything since the previous day. What would normally be a pleasant aroma filled her nostrils. Derek was home. And he was cooking.

With a groan, Meredith flung the covers off of body and made a dash for the bathroom. One definite plus of living in a trailer was having a toilet only a few steps from the bed.

One minus, however, was being so close to the kitchen.

After heaving the lack of contents from her rebellious stomach, she collapsed onto the floor, twisting her upper body in order to lean her burning forehead against the coolness of the wall. The nausea was gradually dissipating, leaving her sweaty and gross, half-lying on the bathroom floor. The lower temperature of the floor and wall were about the only things offering her any amount of comfort.

"Hey," Derek's voice said softly from the doorway, but Meredith didn't even have the energy to life her head. He crouched beside her, offering her a glass of water. "Here, you can rinse your mouth."

Meredith carefully took the glass. "Thanks."

She leaned forward to spit into the toilet, and then found herself half leaning against the wall and half leaning against her husband as he tucked himself down beside her.

"I'd ask you how you're feeling, but I kind of think you'd kill me..."

With what little strength she had, Meredith nodded. "You are absolutely right."

His hand ran up and down her leg. "See, I can be right sometimes."

She groaned, reminded of that morning. "I was fine this morning."

"Of course. That's why you were sent home from work."

"Bailey told you?"

He chuckled. "More like Bailey yelled at me. Apparently you going to work to prove me wrong means our relationship is interfering with our jobs."

"I wasn't trying to prove you wrong."

"Of course not," he offered, his voice filled to the brim with sarcasm.

"Shut up," she muttered.

He laughed, pressing his lips against the side of her head. "You are a very stubborn woman, and most of the time I love you for it."

"Most of the time?"

"Mmm," he hummed with a nod. "I don't love it when you torture yourself trying to work, and then have to drive yourself home."

She gave in and leaned against him, too tired and too weak to care about winning or losing anymore. "I hate being sick."

"Me too." He kissed the side of her head again.

"Eeww, don't," she mumbled, pulling away. "Don't kiss me. You shouldn't even be touching me, or be anywhere near me. I'm gross and sweaty and germy...and probably oozing flu spores by the thousands."

"Interesting; I wasn't aware the flu spread using spores."

"Shut up."

He stood and offered her a hand. "Come on; let's get you back to bed."

Meredith shook her head. "I told you not to touch me."

"Mer, the trailer's already filled with your so-called flu spores, including the bed I'm going to sleep in tonight. I think I can risk helping you up."

"Crap. Derek, I'm sorry. I never even thought... Crap," she said again. "I should have just crashed in an on call room."

Derek clicked his tongue. "You're sick, Meredith. That means you need to be at home, in your own bed."

"But-"

"No buts. You get sick, you stay home. I take care of you and take my chances. And if I get sick, you have to take care of me. It's the whole 'in sickness and in health' part of the vows."

Despite feeling crappy, and the lightness of Derek's tone, Meredith found her heart warmed by his little speech. She couldn't remember anyone ever taking care of her when she was sick, not even her mother, not even when she had been young. And now she had someone who had vowed to do it for the rest of his life. "Fine," she mumbled, finally taking his hand.

He smiled and pulled her upright, his arm immediately snaking around her waist to hold her steady. "Do you want anything before you go back to sleep? I wasn't sure how bad you were feeling when I got home, so I made you some soup..."

Her stomach rolled in on itself and Meredith raised a hand, motioning for him to stop talking. She clamped her other hand over her mouth and bowed forward, breathing deep as she fought off another wave of nausea.

Derek's hand found her back, rubbing comforting circles. "I'll take that as a no."

Eventually she stood upright and met his eyes. "I think if I even see food I'm going to spend the night on the bathroom floor."

He nodded knowingly. "Okay, then let's just get you to bed."

000

Before she even opened her eyes the following morning, Meredith knew it wasn't going to be much better a day than the previous one. Her head throbbed between her temples. Her skin felt like it was on fire. And her stomach ached with the contradiction of nausea and emptiness.

"Aaaauuuggghhh," she moaned as she opened her eyes, blinking rapidly as her pupils adjusted to the harsh onslaught of light.

There was rustling from the kitchen, followed by the sound of Derek padding across the floor to the small bedroom. "How are you feeling?" He asked gently.

Meredith's knees rose on their own accord, closing the angle of her hips, in response to the swell of nausea that came simply from being awake. She groaned and pressed her face into the pillow beneath her head.

"I'll take that as 'not good.'"

"I married a genius," she muttered into the pillow, her current favourite thing in the world right now, as it was saving her eyes from the harshness of the light.

Derek chuckled lightly, and the mattress dipped beside her as he sat, his fingers running along the side of her head and through her hair. "Mmm," he murmured. "You definitely still have a fever. Do you want more ibuprofen? It's been six hours."

"M'kay," Meredith mumbled. She had awoken many times since Derek had helped her back to bed the afternoon before, and every time he was there with something that would help. A glass of water. Ibuprofen. Gravol. A cool wash cloth.

And he hadn't complained once through the night as she had gone from being freezing with chills to burning with heat and back. Over and over and over, tossing the blankets onto him, only to take them back minutes later.

Derek's hand ran tenderly down her back before standing and heading back for the kitchen for pills and water.

"Here you go, Sunshine," he teased as he reappeared beside her.

"Derek?" She mumbled into her pillow, still not raising her head.

"Mmm-hmm?"

"Remind me to kill you when I have the strength."

He laughed. "You know you'd tease me in the situation were reversed."

"Except you never get sick. You're like...abnormally healthy."

"That's because I eat healthy. I should remind you about this next time you want to order pizza, which will probably be tomorrow..."

Meredith groaned and her knees rose right up to her abdomen, in full fetal position, just at the mention of food.

Derek stroked her head. "Sorry," he whispered.

"...should be," she retorted when her stomach seemed to stop constricting.

"That's my girl," he murmured, before standing. "I'm going to get you more gravol too."

Meredith attempted a nod into her pillow. Everything hurt, and all she wanted to do was sleep until she was better. She hated being sick. It was the epitome of being vulnerable. And even though she had come a long way in learning it was okay to be vulnerable in front of certain people, she still hated it.

"Take both of these, and then you can go back to sleep," Derek announced as he returned to her side.

She sighed. "Okay."

"Mer," he prompted when she didn't move. "That means you need to sit up."

"Mmm, can't."

"It's just for a moment."

"Too bright."

Derek quickly went into action, turning of the lamp beside the bed and closing the small sliding door that separated their bedroom from the rest of the trailer, leaving them in near darkness. The only light present now was that that the curtains failed to filter from the outside world.

"It's safe now."

Meredith very carefully rolled onto her back and, with Derek's help, sat up. He sat half beside her and half behind her, supporting her position, and handed her the water and pills.

After swallowing the pills, Meredith handed back the glass, and winced as the nausea flared momentarily in response to the water.

"What time is it?" She finally managed to ask, leaning against her husband's strong chest.

Derek ran his hand up and down her arm. "Almost seven."

She nodded absently, saying nothing.

"So, should I tell you that you should stay home? Or will that make you go in anyway, which will absolutely lead to me being lectured by Bailey again?"

With what little energy she had, Meredith rolled her eyes. "My decision to stay home has nothing to do with what you think. In fact, I made it before you said anything." The truth was, she hadn't even thought about work until he had brought it up.

"Whatever you say."

"It's true," she mumbled stubbornly.

His arm snaked around her, holding her in a half-hug. "I love you."

"Mmm, you too," she whispered as she twisted and snuggled closer, leaning her head against his chest. She knew that in a minute or two the closeness would be too much for her fever, but right now it felt nice to have some human contact. "You're going to get sick, you know, being so close to me."

Derek pressed his lips against the side of her head. "I'll take my chances with the flu spores. You're worth it."

Meredith released a laughing breath. "Shut up."

"Do you want me to call in sick for you?"

"I can do it."

"I don't mind."

"I am perfectly capable of using a phone, Derek. I am a surgeon."

He laughed. "I am aware of that, even though you're more germ Petri dish than surgeon at the moment."

"I hate you."

"You love me."

"Unfortunately."

He chuckled again, pulling his arm from her middle. "I only have one surgery scheduled today, so I should be home early in the afternoon. In the meantime, get some sleep and feel better."

"You can't make me."

"You are the most stubborn woman I have ever met."

"Not true."

"Are the flu spores invading your endocrine system and putting your snarky hormones on overdrive?"

She couldn't help but laugh at this. "I'm just saying..."

"Yeah, what's that?"

"That you don't get to tell me what to do just because we're married."

He pressed his lips to the side of her head again. "Meredith, I wouldn't dream of telling you what to do. Even less would I expect you to actually do it."

"You just told me what to do."

It was Derek's turn to roll his eyes. "Mer, you're sick. You can barely sit up, let alone get up. Telling you to sleep and feel better isn't so much an order as it is a summarising statement of facts."

"Shut up."

"Interesting that whenever I make a good point you tell me to shut up."

"...shut up."

He snorted. "And there you go doing it again."

"Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"I think the flu spores are invading _your_ endocrine system and putting your _annoying your wife_ hormones into overdrive."

"And I think that's my clue to leave."

Meredith smiled as she snuggled back into her pillow.

"What?"

"I won," she explained.

"No, you didn't."

"Mmm-hmm," she murmured. "I'm always right."

"You're never going to let that one go, are you?"

"You told me the wife is always right, and I don't plan on stopping."

"I said that was according to my sisters."

"You missed the point of what I said."

"And what was that?"

"I don't plan on stopping."

"Being right?"

"Being your wife."

Derek kissed her forehead. "Good. I don't ever want you to stop. I like you being my wife."

"I like you being my husband."

He kissed her forehead again. "Good. However, this husband had a shunt replacement at nine, so he needs to get going."

"Go," she breathed. "Just hand me my phone so I can call in."

"Actually-"

"Derek. I can use a phone."

"I know that, but-"

"Seriously, Derek, the God complex needs to simmer."

"This has nothing to do with some complex you think that I have."

"Just give me the phone."

"But I al-"

"Derek."

"Fine." He left her side to retrieve her cell from the kitchen table. "Here," he said as he returned. "Have fun."

"What do you mean, have fun?"

He smirked. "I'll tell you later."

She narrowed her eyes at him, but said nothing.

"Could you call me if you wake up before I get home, so I know you're okay?"

Her heart warmed. "You're a sap."

"I'm your sap."

She rolled her eyes. "I'll call. But I'll be fine. The gravol's kicking in already."

"Good." He leaned close, pressing his forehead against hers. "I'll be home in a few hours."

"I'll miss you."

"You can't miss someone while you're asleep."

"The human brain is a remarkable thing, Derek. There's a lot we don't know about it. And studies are already showing positive and negative conditioning are possible while sleeping. I think that proves I can miss you."

He had to shake his head at her tenacity. "I'll take that as I sign to go."

"I won again," she murmured.

"I love you," he said, ignoring her challenge.

"You too."

He kissed her cheek and was gone quickly, eager to get to the hospital and his surgery so he could be back soon.

Meredith sighed and hurriedly scrolled through her phone menu for her Chief Resident's number. She found it and hit send.

"Harris here," he greeted after three rings.

"Doctor Harris," she responded. "This is Meredith Shepherd."

"Ah, Doctor Shepherd. How are you feeling?"

She paused at the comment. Harris had been off the previous day. "Uh, not good at all. I'm not going to make it in today."

"I know. And I appreciate your worry, Doctor Shepherd, but I didn't need to hear from you as well."

"What do you mean 'as well?'"

"Your husband called in for you an hour ago."

Meredith rolled her eyes to herself. That's what he had been trying to tell her. And the ass let her do it anyway. "I wasn't aware of that, Dr. Harris. I'm sorry."

"No worries, Dr. Shepherd. We'll miss you today, but it's always good to take some time off when you're not feeling well."

"Thanks."

"See you soon."

"You too," she said absently, hanging up the phone.

Part of her was warmed that Derek had been so thoughtful. Technically she should already be at the hospital, so he had called in for her to avoid waking her up early. It was sweet and thoughtful and completely Derek-y. But part of her was annoyed that he hadn't made her listed. Maybe he was right, and the flu was invading her endocrine system.

"Jackass," she muttered to herself, typing out a quick text to her best friend.


	13. Four and a Half Months part 2

"What did you do now, McDreamy?"

Derek looked up from the chart in his hands to meet the eyes of his wife's best friend, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Your wife sent me a very suspicious text, and it is my responsibility as her best friend to check it out..." She held up her cell phone, allowing him to read.

Derek squinted, and then rolled his eyes. Four words. _Please kill my husband._

He snorted. "You know, only Mer would add a 'please' to that statement."

Cristina cracked the barest hint of a smile. "So," she repeated, her expression stony once more, "What did you do now?"

"What do you mean 'now'? It's not like I piss her off on that regular of a basis."

"You're more of an idiot than I thought if you actually believe that."

He rolled his eyes again. Even though he didn't have a relationship with his wife's best friend, he and Cristina got a long fairly well now – she had accepted that she and Derek were on the same side, and he had accepted that Cristina had a relationship with Meredith that he couldn't always understand – so he knew most of this was in jest.

Cristina cleared her throat. "Do I really have to ask a third time?"

"She's sick. Flu."

"Yes, I was well aware of that yesterday, when Bailey sent her home."

"It's not my fault she came to work. I suggested she stay home."

Cristina cracked another uncharacteristic smile. "Yeah, that was your first mistake. It has to be her idea."

He returned the smile. "She is very stubborn."

"But what happened today?"

He shrugged. "She didn't sleep well last night, so when she seemed to be sleeping relatively peacefully this morning, I let her sleep instead of waking her up first thing. It was pretty obvious than even she would think it necessary to stay home."

"And..."

"And I didn't want Harris to think she just didn't show up, so I called in for her."

"And..."

"And she wouldn't let me talk before I left. I tried to tell her I had already called in, but she demanded the phone, so I gave it to her and left. She must have called Harris, only to find out I already called..."

Cristina smiled again, going so far as to release a laughing breath. "And that explains the text."

He nodded. "It would seem so."

Cristina nodded. "I guess I don't actually have to kill you, then."

"I appreciate the sentiment," he said sarcastically.

"Just...if she asks..."

Derek rolled his eyes. "If she asks, I'll tell her I got quite the lecture."

With that, Cristina nodded. "Good."

Derek rolled his eyes again as his wife's best friend left without another word. "This is what I get for trying to be a good husband..."

"Talking to yourself, Dr. Shepherd?"

"Dr. Bailey," he greeted, turning to greet the woman he hadn't heard approach. "How are you this morning?"

It was Bailey's turn to roll her eyes. "Apparently better than you. Tucker hasn't requested my assassination yet."

He had to laugh at her dry delivery of the comment. "She didn't mean it."

"If that's what you need to believe..."

"She didn't," he reiterated. "I was doing a good thing. A good and considerate thing. And she'll recognize that when the crazy wears off."

"Hmm," was all the reply he got, but there was an undertone to it that Derek couldn't read. Bailey had looked back down to the chart in her hands, but there was something about the way her eyes didn't seem to be moving across the page. It was like they were ready to lift back up to his; like she was waiting for something.

He narrowed his eyes. The woman was often a closed book to him, but she was also often upfront about what she was thinking; he had never needed to read her before.

A long moment went by where he said nothing and she eventually began to actually read the page before her.

Eyes still narrowed and brow furrowed, Derek shook his head. The strange moment was over and he hadn't even known what it had been about. "So..."

Bailey lifted her eyes up to his. "Make it quick. I have three surgeries today, and we're down a resident."

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes for a third time. Meredith hadn't even been scheduled on Bailey's service today. "First of all, you were the one who initiated conversation. And second, it's not my fault my wife is sick."

She stared at him for a long moment once more, almost like before, as if she were debating telling him it was his fault. "You just take care of that girl, Derek," she finally said, taking Derek by surprise at the use of his first name.

"I'm doing my best," he said honestly. "But she doesn't always like or accept help. Hence the text to Cristina."

"That does seem a little extreme," Bailey conceded. "But women do tend to be hormonal at times."

He laughed. "That's very true. I even told her that her endocrine system is being invaded and-" They were cut off by the sound of his pager going off. "Ah, my OR is ready. We'll have to continue this later."

**

"Thank God," Derek mumbled, dropping his tray down onto the cafeteria table across from Mark's. "I'm in dire need for some male conversation today."

Mark raised an eyebrow.

Derek shook his head and dropped into a chair. "All the women are going crazy."

"And this is new?"

"The most normal conversation I've had today was with Yang. And that's saying something."

"That's saying a lot," Mark agreed. "Those conversations are never normal." He made a face.

"No. And Bailey's acting strange, even for Bailey. Twice I've talked to her, and both times it's like there's something I'm supposed to be bringing up, but she won't just come out and tell me what it is. And Stevens grilled me for ten minutes when I got out of my surgery on how Meredith is feeling, and-"

"What's up with the wife?"

"She's got a stomach bug. Bailey sent her home yesterday. Fever, fatigue and vomiting."

Mark made a face and put his fork down.

"Sorry," Derek muttered.

"At least I got to eat half of it..."

"And Mer may or may not be mad at me for calling in for her this morning."

"May or may not?"

Derek shook his head. "Long story. I think the flu spores are making her crazy."

"Flu spores? You did go to medical school, right?"

"That's a long story too."

"Rough morning," Mark commented. He picked up his fork, and began pushing lettuce around his plate, debating taking another bite.

"Yeah, and I texted her to see how she's doing, but she hasn't answered yet..."

Mark released a slightly aggravated breath. "You say Stevens is too concerned, and yet here you are overly worried."

"I'm just the right amount of worried."

"It's just a bug."

"I know, but..."

"But what?"

He shrugged. "I'm not sure. All the crazy this morning is making me crazy."

"Maybe it's contagious," Mark suggested, stabbing a piece of lettuce with his fork and slowly lifting it to his mouth.

"It would have to be more contagious than the stomach bug. She was vomiting all last night. If she's that sick, I should be too."

With a frustrated sigh, Mark dropped his fork with a bang and pushed his plate away from himself. "Don't you have anything better to do than come here and ruin my lunch?"

"Sorry," Derek said again as Mark got up and left the cafeteria. He sighed and counted to ten before pulling out his cell phone and checking it. No missed texts. He counted to ten once more before calling Meredith's cell. She could be sleeping still, but it was a risk he would have to take. He couldn't be worrying through his afternoon surgery.

"Hello," she answered on the fourth ring.

"Hey," he said cautiously. "Sorry to wake you if you were sleeping. I just really needed to know that you were okay. And everyone is acting weird today, and-"

"It's okay," she cut him off with a hint of a giggle; probably at his rambling. "I always like hearing your voice."

Derek smiled to himself. "Even when you send your best friend to assassinate me?"

"Assassinate?"

"Bailey's term."

"How does Bailey know?"

"She was eavesdropping when Cristina confronted me."

"Maybe that's how she knows everything."

"Maybe."

Meredith sighed. "I'm actually feeling a lot better. Sleeping helped."

"Did you get up yet?"

"I'm kind of half up," she explained. "I moved to the couch, and I'm watching a movie. Managed to keep down some gingerale. Thanks for getting it, by the way."

"It's what I'm here for." After Bailey had confronted him the previous day, he had stopped for supplies on the way home. Gingerale, Gravol and Peptobismol had been high on the list. "And I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better. Maybe you'll be fine to come back tomorrow. Unless of course, you're taking this to mean I'm _telling_ you to come back tomorrow and you're going to stay home just to prove me wrong..."

"Derek?"

"Yes, dear?" He said sarcastically.

"Shut up."

He laughed. "I love you."

"You too, unfortunately."

Derek scoffed. "It's not unfortunate. Anyone would be lucky to love me."

"But then they'd have to get to know you," she bantered. "And you're not quite as perfect as you want people to think."

"Ouch."

She giggled on the other end of the phone. "But I love you anyway."

"Thanks," he said sarcastically, "Especially seeing as I'm so imperfect on the inside."

"That's so not what I said."

"Really?" He asked, sarcasm still evident in his tone, "Because it sounded an awful lot like it..."

"I'm just saying...there's more to you than the cocky neurosurgeon with perfect hair."

"You think it's perfect, huh?"

He could hear her huff on the other end of the line.

He chuckled. Maybe he couldn't win the whole banter, but he could catch her in one thing. "It's okay," he continued. "It is perfect."

This time she snorted. "You are so freaking arrogant."

Derek grinned at the reaction he got out of her. "You must really be feeling better..."

Meredith ignored the implication behind his words. "I am. A lot. Maybe I'll be back to normal by tomorrow morning."

But Meredith was wrong, and Derek woke up to his wife throwing up in the bathroom the following morning.

"Hey," he spoke softly as he stepped into the bathroom, his hand taking Meredith's hand's place in holding back her hair. His free hand found her back, right between the shoulder blades. "I guess the flu spores aren't finished with you yet..."

Meredith groaned in response, gagging one last time before sitting back on her heels and flushing to toilet.

"Do you want some water?"

She groaned and shook her head again.

Derek rubbed his hand back and forth across her shoulder blades.

"It's not fair," Meredith whined. "I was fine last night." She had even been able to keep down some toast. "Today was supposed to be better."

He almost laughed at her petulance. "I guess the flu spores weren't finished with you yet."

"Shut up."

"Sorry," he said wryly. "Is it safe to let go of your hair now?"

She groaned. "I thought I told you to shut up."

He released her hair anyway, pulling her to lean against him. "So, I guess you're- Are you staying home today?" He corrected himself before insinuating anything, still wary of a repeat of two mornings earlier. His wife had her quirks, but they were certainly at their extreme this week.

Meredith sighed and sank against him, letting him hold her up. "Of course. It's not like I can be in surgery like this."

Derek wondered vaguely whether she even noticed his almost-statement that she would be staying home. "Vomiting into open body cavities isn't usually a good thing."

Meredith huffed with a hint of laughter. "Can you imagine trying to explain that to the patient?"

"Hmm, wouldn't want to."

"Me either."

"Which is why you have decided to stay home."

"Exactly."

"Do you think you're okay to go back to bed?"

She took a breath as she thought about it, and then nodded. "I think so."

But Meredith was wrong again.

As soon as she stepped out of the bathroom, she was turning on her heel and collapsing to the floor once again. Derek quickly reached for her hair and rubbed her back as she threw up what little was left in her stomach.

"I guess I was wrong," she muttered when she finally sat back again.

Derek reached over her to flush the toilet. "Admitting you're wrong, huh? You must really be sick."

"I can be wrong."

"But I thought-"

"I'm just never wrong when you're involved."

Derek chuckled and shook his head. "Duly noted."

"Ugh," she groaned, "This isn't fair."

"Being sick never is. But when you work in a hospital you tend to pick things up..."

"Then why aren't you sick? You work in the same freaking hospital. And we sleep in the same freaking bed. And I've been sick for-freaking-ever. So why aren't you freaking sick?"

"I've worked in a hospital for longer than you. I guess I've just built up more immunity."

"But I was practically raised in a hospital." She pointed out. "Not. Fair."

Derek was out of arguments. "Well...I'm sorry."

"You should be."

He rolled his eyes. "It'll be better tomorrow."

"I thought that yesterday. And I was fine last night. Why is it back this morning?"

"Maybe you were just drugged up yesterday. All the anti-nausea meds."

"Still... It's not freaking fair that I get stuck with the stupid flu whatever that only attacks at arbitrary times of day and doesn't seem to be freaking contagious anymore because no one else is sick."

"It had to have been contagious for you to have gotten sick," he pointed out.

"Stop being freaking rational," she chided. "I'm a doctor too. The only other possibly explanations could be-" And with that, Meredith abruptly cut herself off.

"What?"

She turned her head to meet his eyes. "You're not sick."

Derek furrowed his brow and nodded. "We've established that."

"And it's worse in the morning..."

Derek sucked in a breath as his thought process fell into line with hers. "You don't think..."

Meredith captured her bottom lip under her upper incisors and shook her head to say she didn't know.

"It's only been a couple days. And _morning_ sickness is kind of a misnomer..."

"And I would know, right? If I was... I would know. Right? Because I don't know. I mean, I don't not know. But I don't know... I don't know that I am, but I don't know that I'm not... and I would know." Her eyes welled ever so slightly. "I would know, right? I _should_ know?"

"I...I'm not sure," he responded truthfully, his heart thudding in his chest.

"I had my period last month," she mumbled. "So if I am, I can't be that far along. So I wouldn't necessarily know, right?"

"I think so." Other than the slight 'scare' when she had gotten her appendix out, they had never had a pregnancy scare. They had also always been very careful; a factor that had noticeably declined since they had gotten married. All that was left for Derek to be living his dream was having children with Meredith. And he knew she wanted kids too. But they had never discussed the when or the how or the how many. And right now Derek had no idea how his wife was going to react. With the childhood she had had, an unplanned pregnancy – regardless of how much they both wanted the baby – would seem like a failure to her. "It's going to be okay," he found himself saying, trying to comfort them both.

"If you're pregnant, then it's going to be okay. If you are, then it's still super early, so there's no reason for you to have known yet." After a moment to consider it, he was certain her repeated questions stemmed from an unreasonable belief that being pregnant and not knowing it would automatically make her a bad mother. "And if you are, it's good that it's early, because we still live in a trailer. And the trailer is barley big enough for the two of us," he joked to lighten the mood. "And babies take up a lot of room." The construction of their house was supposed to be finished soon, but had hit some snags, and the finished date kept being pushed back.

"I need to know, Derek," she whispered.

He nodded and kissed the side of her head. "I know. Me too. If you're okay to stay here, I'll run out to the store and get a test."

Meredith nodded. "Get a bunch. I'm not going to believe it either way with only one or two."

"I'll get a dozen," he replied, his heart pulling at her brave smile. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Derek stood. "And regardless of what happens it will be okay."

She took a breath and nodded. "I believe you."


	14. Four and a Half Months part 3

Derek hurried home with a bag full of pregnancy tests; one of each brand from the drug store on the main road. He found his wife where he had left her, still sitting on the bathroom floor. No words were exchanged when she rose, took the bag from Derek and closed the door.

The three or four minutes she left him alone in the small trailer were agony. Derek paced up and down the short hallway before collapsing onto the bed. Eventually the bathroom door slid open and Meredith stepped out. She was biting her lip, but met his eyes.

"They...uh...we need to wait."

Derek nodded and moved up the bed so he was partially leaning against the headboard. "How long?"

"Two minutes, three minutes and five minutes. They're all a little different and...well, there's a lot of them."

He cracked a smile and was relieved to see Meredith return it and head towards him, crawling from the foot of the bed to rest beside him, her arm draping across his chest.

He pressed his lips against the top of her head. "It's going to be okay."

"You've said that a few times."

"And I'm going to keep saying it until you believe it."

Meredith sighed, her fingers curling around the fabric of his shirt. "I would know, right? If I'm pregnant I should feel it."

Derek closed his arms around his wife. "If you are pregnant you've barely had any symptoms. There's no reason for you to know." The question was a little easier to address now that he had had some time to process the situation. After pulling on the clothes he had worn the day before, he had jumped into his car and sped into the small town about ten minutes from them. And as fast as he had asked his car to go, his brain had been racing even faster. He loved his wife desperately and had never been more certain of his life decisions that had led him to marrying her. And they wanted kids. _He _desperately wanted kids.

He and Addison had originally planned to have kids. After med school. After internship. After residency. After they had settled as attendings. Always after. And as after gradually melded into never, Derek had conceded to the fact the he would likely never be a father.

But then he had met Meredith. And the ache had started up again. The ache to hold his newborn child in his hands; to realize a love that didn't exist outside of a parent-child bond. And he wanted to experience all of that with Meredith.

Almost a year ago, while flying home from their first visit to New York for Thanksgiving, Meredith had told him she was warming up to the kids idea. A few months later, a discussion had revealed she was leaning towards wanting kids more and more. And the day before their wedding, she had told him she was sure.

They were both sure. They both wanted this to happen.

Just not necessarily right now.

Their conversations had never gone further than wanting kids. How many? How far apart? Starting when? How long would she take off work? How long would he take off work? Daycare? School? Religion, beliefs and rules? They hadn't talked about anything.

And as much as Derek ached for a having a baby with Meredith, he knew all of those things were important to think about. They had been married less than six months. She was only in her third year of residency.

"I'm not talking about symptoms, Derek," she spoke up, cutting of his train of thought. "I mean emotionally, or whatever. I should _feel_ it."

"Kathleen didn't know she was pregnant with Megan until she was almost thirteen weeks," he offered.

This seemed to appease his wife. She sighed and relaxed against him. Megan was a great kid and was obviously loved very much by her parents, as were all of the Shepherd grandchildren. Not knowing in the first weeks of pregnancy didn't automatically mean the kid would grow up feeling unwanted, unworthy and neglected. Like Meredith had.

He rubbed his hand across her back. "It's been at least two minutes. Maybe even three."

"I want to wait for all of them to be finished."

"Okay." It wouldn't be easy to wait another two minutes, but he would do anything she asked of him. "Are you still feeling nauseous?"

She shook her head against his shoulder. "I think it's the adrenaline."

"Good." He kissed her head again, fighting down his own adrenaline surge and anxiety. As much as he wanted this, he refused to let himself _want_ it yet. Not until they knew.

Silence fell between them for a long moment.

"It's probably been five minutes," Meredith finally spoke.

"Mmm-hmm," he agreed, making no move to get up. He would make a move when she did.

She lifted her head to meet his eyes. Hers were moist, but she wasn't crying. He could make out a smorgasbord of emotions on her face. Anxiety. Fear. Hope. Love. Uncertainty. Longing. Vulnerability.

He ran his fingers through her hair. "I'm here," he whispered. "No matter what the answer, I will be here."

"I know," she said meekly, and despite all the fear and uncertainty in her eyes, he knew she was telling the truth.

"I love you." He couldn't not say it in that moment, with her eyes practically oozing vulnerability.

"You too." She closed her eyes for a moment, her hand still clutching to his shirt, and when she re-opened her eyes, she spoke. "What do you want to answer to be?"

He released a breath of surprise, not having been expected to be asked. He had expected to find out one way or another, and then react and go from there. "I'm not sure," he answered honestly.

She nodded, her eyes telling him she understood and felt the same way. "We want kids."

"We do."

"But we never talked about when to have them."

"We didn't."

She sniffed. "This is scary."

He sat upright and pulled her into a hug. "It is scary," he agreed. "But we'll get through it. If it's positive, then we'll be having a baby. It may be a little sooner than we expected, but it won't change how much we love them. And if it's negative, then we'll talk about when we want to start trying."

She sniffed again. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Derek." It was a rare time that she would admit something like that. She was good and confident with declarations of love, but verbalizing just how invested she had become in their relationship was another thing all together.

He smirked, touched at her sincerity and offering her a lighter topic, knowing she was only comfortable talking about it if she pushed it further. "If you didn't have me, you probably wouldn't be in this situation... We do have a lot of sex..."

Meredith giggled. "Probably more than our fair share."

"Not that we should be thinking about cutting back or anything..."

She giggled again. "But if I am pregnant we should probably be a bit more...choosy about where we have sex. It's probably not appropriate for a pregnant lady to-" She cut herself off. "Crap."

"What?"

"I had my period last month."

"So?"

"So, it means if I am pregnant I'm about two weeks along."

"And?"

She rolled her eyes. "Two weeks ago I snuck into your lecture and we had sex on your desk in your office."

"Oh."

"We're horribly people."

"We are not-"

"We are," she insisted. "How are we supposed to tell our kid that he was conceived in a university office? On a freaking desk?"

Derek shrugged, trying to make light of her concerns. "It's better than an exam room... I mean..." He stammered, immediately realizing the idiocy of his statement.

She glared at him. "Why would you pick now to bring that up? Seriously!"

He cringed. "Sorry. I guess...the last time we thought you may have been pregnant was...well, it was after..."

She glared at him again.

"You know what it was after."

"Idiot," she muttered. "Seriously. Who brings that up _now_?"

"An idiot," he agreed.

"You've got that right." She sighed. "But, seriously, Derek. A desk."

He shrugged and smirked. "It'll be something to tell the grandkids about."

Meredith stared at him for a long moment before rolling away and off the bed.

Derek took this to mean it was time and he quickly followed her to the bathroom, where all of the tests lay waiting in the sink. All of them saying to same thing.

Meredith leaned into his chest, and Derek wrapped his arms around her from behind. Her reflection in the mirror told him she didn't know how she felt any more than he did. She took a shaky breath, but made no move to leave his embrace or say anything.

"Come on," Derek whispered after several minutes of silence, gently pulling her from the bathroom and guiding her back to the bed. "We have our answer."

They curled up together again, much like they were before.

"It's for the best," she finally said. "We weren't prepared. We hadn't talked about it."

"Meredith..."

"And I've had alcohol. I practically live off of caffeine."

"Meredith."

"I'm around radiation at work."

"Meredith."

"And we live in a trailer."

"Meredith."

"It's for the best," she reiterated, her voice flat.

He closed his arms tightly around her. "I'm sad too."

And then she was crying.

Derek ran his hand up and down her spine as she cried silently against him. "We may not have been expecting a baby so soon, but we would have been happy about it."

She nodded against him. "I thought that maybe...maybe we really could do it all."

"We will," he promised. "One day. We'll talk about this. And we'll decide when to start trying. And we'll get our positive. Then there won't be any regrets."

"I was never supposed to want any of this," she whispered fiercely. "But now..."

"I know." It had taken her time to come around to the idea of having kids. And even though he knew it still scared her, he knew she wanted it.

"I want it now. And one day we'll plan and then I'll get pregnant and we'll be happy. And the baby will be happy."

"All of our kids will be happy. And, Mer, keep in mind that there is a big difference between being unplanned and being unwanted. If we end up like this again and the sticks are positive, the baby will never be unwanted."

"I know, even if I have a hard time understanding that sometimes." She sighed. "You said kids."

"What?"

"You said all of our _kids_ will be happy. Plural."

"I did say that," he agreed, recognizing what she was doing. They were so good at the talking thing now, but Meredith was still a little awkward in bringing up topics sometimes. But it was okay, because Derek understood how hard she was trying. "How many do you want?"

"How many do you want?" She countered.

He smirked. "I asked first."

"But I brought it up."

He chuckled. "Fine. I want...I'm not really sure. Part of me wants a dozen. I love being around all the kids when we go to New York. But the other part realizes a dozen is a little unrealistic..."

Meredith rolled her eyes. She could tell he was being sarcastic, but would play along. "A dozen is more than a little unrealistic. You'd be giving birth to most of them because I am not giving birth twelve times."

Derek smiled. Her eyes were still watery, but she was calm. "How about we start with one, and go from there?"

"No." Her response was immediate. She had thought about this before.

"No?"

"No," she repeated. "Two. We start with two. And then decide if we want more. I don't want our kid to be an only child. Being an only child sucked."

"So...two," he repeated with a smile. "And then maybe more."

She nodded. "But not ten more."

"Nine?"

She smacked him and he laughed, having wanted to get a reaction out of her.

"Eight?"

This time she just rolled her eyes, knowing he was baiting her and that he wouldn't stop. "I doubt we could handle more than three, or maybe four."

"More?"

"Total."

"Mmm," he murmured, pulling her close again. "I think you're right. Although, my mother would tell you that she was quite happy raising five. However, I draw the line at having four girls and only one boy. We'd have to keep going until we get another boy or it's just not fair."

Meredith scoffed. "If you think I'm squeezing five kids with heads the size of watermelons out of my vagina, you have another thing coming."

"I think watermelon is a little extreme."

"Do you have a vagina?"

"No."

"Then you don't get an opinion."

He chuckled. "So, at least two. Maybe three or four."

"Sounds good."

"Sounds perfect."

She hesitated. "But...when do you want to...start?"

It was a tough question. Part of him wanted to say right now. The thought of having babies with the love of his life was so tangible; so within reach. He wanted it so badly; to get their positive test, to see her pregnant, to hold the baby for the first time. It was the last piece of the puzzle that would make his life everything he could dream of. But there were more factors that needed to be considered. "I don't know. Part of me wants to start today, and the other says to wait."

"Me too. I know we would be okay no matter when, but now does seem a little soon."

He nodded. "You're less than halfway through your third year. We live in a trailer. And we're newlyweds."

She nodded. "I guess we can't continue to have sex all the time if we have a baby."

"That's usually frowned upon. And once we have a kid, it will interfere with our sex life for at least eighteen years."

Meredith pursed her lips. "And of you add in potentially three more kids, about, what? Two years apart? That's another six years. That's at least twenty-four years of limited sex."

Derek had to laugh at their topic. With the whirlwind of emotions that morning, it was nice to have something light to joke about, even if there was a hint of genuine concern. "How about we wait until our first anniversary? And we'll start trying then if we're ready."

Meredith nodded. "That sounds perfect. I...I like it being just you and me for right now, but...I don't want to wait very long."

"Me either."

"Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm still sad about today."

"Me too. And maybe that's not a bad thing. It means we both know we want this. So, when it happens, there won't be any uncertainty."

"And that includes if it happens by accident," she extrapolated. "We'll still want him or her."

He nodded. "Exactly. Big difference between unplanned and unwanted."

She sighed heavily. "So, I guess if I'm not pregnant it's okay to take some Gravol?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"You feeling crappy again?"

"Yeah. And I guess the drugs really did help last night. It was why I was feeling better and didn't take anything before I went to sleep."

"Which was why you felt crappy again this morning," he finished, rolling off the bed to fetch pills and water for his wife.

She took the supplies from him gratefully before sighing. "You should really get going. You're already really late."

He shook his head and returned to his spot beside her on the bed. "I called in on the way to the drug store. I didn't have anything scheduled, so I told them to page me if there's an emergency. I also called in sick for you, by the way. And I'm telling you this upfront, so that you don't have to send your best friend to assassinate me again."

She snorted. "Thanks, but you really don't need to stay home. I'll be fine."

"I do need to stay home. This morning was tough on both of us. We need each other today, even if we're just going to sleep."

Meredith looked up at him, her green eyes stripping him bare as they stared into his. And then she sighed as tears welled in her eyes again. "I'm sorry, Derek." She wasn't a selfish person at all, but certain topics brought self-panics, like the idea of an unplanned pregnancy. And in those cases, she was sometimes delayed in realizing exactly how much those things affected him.

"It's okay."

"You really want kids."

"We both do."

She hugged him, her arms snaking tightly around his upper torso, and her nose burying itself in the crook of his neck. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"And we're going to do the kid thing. Not right away. But soon."

He smiled and closed his eyes, revelling in the feeling of being so close to his wife in every way possible at that moment. "Soon."

_**AN: I know a lot of you wanted her to be preggers, so please don't hate me. I do promise that it will happen in this story. Not right away, but soon enough. I just really believe that Meredith deserves a planned pregnancy, and I already have a great idea for how Derek finds out. And I also think that after everything they've been through in this universe, they deserve to be happy and married without any further responsibilities other than work for at least a little while. They haven't even had their honeymoon yet (which they will sometime after Christmas, so around the 7-8 months point.)**_

_**Five months/Thanksgiving will be up next.**_


	15. Five MonthsThanksgiving part 1

_**AN: Here's the first part of month five/Thanksgiving...a chapter I like to call: What a difference a year can make. There's a bit stolen from the first Thanksgiving chapter of What I'm Here For, but I don't think it's plagiarism if you steal from yourself...**_

Meredith pulled her suitcase behind her as she followed Derek across the busy drop-off route along the front of the airport. They had opted to drive and leave the car parked for the weekend in the long-term lot, and so had to wheel their bags from the lot to the airport. Derek easily manoeuvred through the throngs of travellers saying their goodbyes to friends and family before they left for the long weekend.

The large, sliding-glass doors opened on their own accord, and suddenly Meredith found herself inside the airport. She breathed a short-lived sigh of relief at finally being in a slightly less congested area, only to growl in the back of her throat as she caught sight of the long lines of passengers waiting to check their baggage.

"We're never going to make it at this rate," she muttered. They had both been scheduled off as of that morning, but Derek had been roped into an emergency surgery that had continued far closer to their scheduled boarding time than either of them had been comfortable with. Meredith had been forced to drive out to the trailer and load their suitcases into her/their new jeep, reluctantly doing her own version of last minute packing, and hoping she had packed not only everything she needed, but everything Derek needed.

They were flying out on the late morning flight to New York, the same flight they had been on exactly one year ago, and planned to arrive at the Shepherd house late in the evening.

"We'll make it," Derek called back to her, "Even if I have to play the surgeon card..."

She giggled. "You do have the tickets, right? Cause that's kind of an important part of the whole being allowed into the secure part of the airport and on the plane..."

"I have the tickets," he retorted. "They went right into my briefcase last night after I did the online pre-check in."

She snorted. "You mean after you figured out how to use the online pre-check in." She had offered to do it, but he had been determined to do it himself. And, to put it lightly, Derek was much better at surgery than he was with a computer.

After dodging a stationary group of travellers, Derek sent a glare her way.

Meredith laughed out loud, a sound that quickly turned into an, "oompf," as she walked smack into her husband's very solid back.

Derek, having stopped to avoid running over a surprisingly fast moving old lady who cut him off, reached behind himself to steady his wife without so much as releasing the handle of his suitcase.

"A little warning would have been nice," she mumbled as she regained her footing.

He half-turned towards her, one eyebrow raised. "How about leaving some space next time? You walk like you drive."

"Hey! I am a perfectly fine driver. I don't tailgate."

He shrugged. "You made fun of my computer skills."

"I just made an educated observation."

"An educated observation?"

She smirked. "Yeah, you know, they had computers when I went to school."

The look on his face told her she had won. "Mean, mean woman," he muttered.

"You started it."

"How did _I_ start it? You made fun of my computer skills. And then you walked in to me. And then you blamed me for it."

She paused for a moment, lips pursed, before she hooked her free hand onto the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to her level, pressing her lips against his. "I love you."

It was his turn to roll his eyes. "Sometimes I regret how effective that is on me."

She giggled and pecked his lips again. "I love you," she repeated.

He sighed. "I love you too," he mumbled resignedly.

She kissed him one last time before pressing her hands gently against his chest, urging him to continue towards their check in counter. "We really need to hurry."

"Bossy," he muttered before turning back around and continuing.

The coach check-in line was long and slow-moving, but thankfully the business class line was almost empty. Their bags were quickly checked and they were ushered towards the security checkpoint.

When they were only steps away from security, Meredith was surprised to find herself being pulled to the side.

"What's going on?" She asked, her eyes searching Derek's as he pulled them to a stop in a quiet area to the side of security.

He smirked. "Just making sure you're okay?"

She furrowed her brow. "Why?"

"Exactly one year ago we were standing in exactly this spot. And you were freaking out."

She glared at him. "I was not."

"You so were. And I just wanted to make sure you were okay with going to New York this weekend."

"You're making fun of me."

"I mean, we can stay here. Or I can explain how much my family will like you. Or I can tell you about how to act during Thanksgiving..."

"Now you're mocking me." Exactly one year before had been her first trip to New York with him. She had met most of his sisters and his mother for a short period in the summer, and had agreed with only slight reluctance to accompany him to New York. However, she had succumbed to her fears in the airport, and Derek had pulled her to the side before going through security in order to calm her down.

"Only a little."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm fine. And you know that. And we're going to miss out flight."

"We have a couple minutes. And I just need to know that you're okay with this-"

She smacked him. "You're very obnoxious."

Derek chuckled. "It's my right."

"To be mean to me in airports?"

"I'm not being mean. I'm trying to be supportive; I know how nervous you get..."

She grumbled at him, and then replied, sarcastically, "I'm so lucky to have such a supportive husband. But can I remind you that although I had what some people may call a slight freak out a year ago, we have been to New York since then. Remember when we went in June? And I was fine in the airport. No freaking out."

His smirk changed into something softer and her leaned close to kiss her. "How could I ever forget? It was the best trip of my life."

She couldn't help but smile back at him, remembering their last trip to New York. The one that had ended with them getting married. "It was pretty good."

"What a difference a year makes, huh?"

Meredith sighed and leaned into her husband's chest, her arms wrapping around his waist as she dropped all sarcasm and joking for the moment. "I can still remember how nervous I was. I would never have imagined just one year later I could be so calm...that I could actually be looking forward to this weekend."

He hugged her back. "I told you."

"Hmm?"

"That they would love you. I told you they'd become your family too."

She was surprised to feel tears prick at the backs of her eyes. One Thanksgiving ago she had been nervous. Two Thanksgivings ago she had been depressed. And three Thanksgivings ago she had been completely alone. But this Thanksgiving she wasn't nervous, depressed or alone. She was happy, was looking forward to spending a weekend with Derek's family. And she would never be alone again. He had promised her that.

He hugged her tight for a moment before sighing a releasing her with a tender kiss to the forehead. "I think we should continue this conversation on the plane, because if we don't run, we're really not going to make it."

She rolled her eyes as she allowed him to take her hand and hurry them towards the security check. "It was your idea to stop and mock me..."

They made it to their plane with a few minutes to spare, but they were unable to continue the conversation, as Derek fell asleep before the plane even took off. After working the entire previous day, and then spending the night in surgery, he was exhausted. Meredith split her time between watching movies on the personal television on the back of the chair in front of her and trying to sleep with her head resting on Derek's shoulder.

She nudged him awake right before they landed, and he groggily followed her out of the plane where they picked up their checked baggage and headed for the car rental place.

"Do you want me to drive?" She questioned as they loaded their bags into the trunk.

"I'll be fine," he said quickly.

"_Fine_ fine, or Meredith fine?"

He rolled his eyes. "Isn't that what I'm supposed to ask you?"

"Hey, when was the last time you had to ask me that?"

"Good point."

"Derek, seriously," she tried again. "You look like you're about to fall down."

"Then it's a good thing cars are made with seats now..."

She glared at him. "Just give me the freaking keys, Derek."

"I'll be fine to stay awake."

"You can be stubborn and stay awake to navigate. But I'm driving."

He met her eyes for a long moment before sighing and passing over the keys, saying nothing.

"Thanks," she said, only a hint of sarcasm in her voice. She pressed her lips against his cheek before gently shoving him towards the passenger side of the car.

He grumbled, but said nothing as he stumbled towards the passenger door and collapsed into the seat. "You do realize we've been here twice before, but you slept through both drives, right?"

"That's why I brought you with me; to navigate."

He grumbled again. "That's the only reason, huh?"

She reached her hand out to rest over his knee. "Well, maybe not the only reason..."

He laid his hand down on hers and squeezed. "Good to know."

After pulling her hand away for long enough to turn on the ignition and put the car in gear, she returned it to Derek's. "Okay, so what way am I turning once I get out of here?"

"Left," he replied easily, and continued to quietly give her directions to the highway.

"How far until the exit?" Meredith asked after she had comfortably merged into traffic.

He didn't answer.

"Derek?" She glanced over to him, only to smile. He was fast asleep.

"And you thought you could drive..." She mumbled, shaking her head. He had been working so hard that previous week, making sure all of his patient's were taken care of and all of the administrative part of his job was up to date. She patted his knee gently, "You just get some sleep. We'll be there before you know it."

She was relatively familiar with the area where Carol lived, and had been on and off the highway more than once during the week she and Derek had spent planning their wedding. Carol's house was a little more than an hour from the airport, and no more than ten minutes from the highway. Surely she'd be able recognize the exit, if not by visual clues, by following the signs to Carol's town. Worst case scenario, she would have to wake Derek when they got close to the hour mark.

Best case scenario, she would find the exit, navigate to Carol's house and be able to surprised her husband.

Meredith smirked to herself; she had a plan. Nothing could go wrong.


	16. Thanksgiving Part 2

_**AN: In case you missed it, this is PART TWO of five months. I updated a few days ago, but the site was doing weird things (like telling me I could respond to reviews because they didn't exist yet? Seriously...wtf?) Anyway, I only got a handful of reviews on the last chapter, and I'm hoping it's because of the site. If it isn't and the last chapter doesn't make sense (which is quite possible as there was a lot of banter and calls back to WIHF) PLEASE let me know! I love writing and try and use fanfic as a constructive way to improve my skills and try new styles.**_

_**Thanks!**_

Derek blinked groggily as his sleep-deprived brain slowly found consciousness. A series of angry sounds found his ears, which he translated into his wife cursing. His stiff neck told him he was in a car. The rental car; he remembered now. After almost a day of traveling, they were finally driving from the airport to his mother's house.

"Crap. Crap. Crappy. Crap..."

"Mer..." he mumbled, coughing to clear his lungs.

"I...crap," she continued. "It's not my fault."

With a deep breath, Derek sat up straighter and turned towards his wife. "What's not your fault?" He asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. He was so tired it felt like sleep was pulling at every cell in his body.

"They moved the freaking exit!" She exclaimed.

Exit. They were on a highway. He rubbed a hand over his face, trying to wake up further. After so little sleep following close to forty hours of being awake, his body was screaming for more.

"It's not my fault," she repeated. "I...I know where we're supposed to get off. It's the exit with that shopping center beside it. I remember because we stopped for coffee on the way back from getting our marriage license in June..."

"Have we already switched highways?"

Her head snapped to the side. "What?!"

He took a cautious breath, worried that he had a good idea of what had happened. "We were supposed to switch highways."

"You never told me that!" She exclaimed. "I thought we were supposed to stay on this one! This is not my fault!"

He blinked his eyes, trying to make sense of the sounds and sights around him. "Mer, sweetie, you have to stop yelling. My head is killing me."

"You never told me to get on a different highway." She was still defensive, but quieter.

"How long have I been asleep?"

Silence.

"Mer?"

"An hour."

"An hour?!" He exclaimed, breaking his own rule.

"It's not my fault!" She countered. "You fell asleep and I wanted to surprise you by driving there by myself. I never knew we had to get on a different highway."

"Shit, Meredith. We were only supposed to be on here for a couple of exits."

"I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"I told you. I wanted to surprise you."

"Great job," he said sarcastically, although without any of the usual playfulness he directed towards her. "We should be there by now, but instead we're further away than we started." He was exhausted, his body was screaming for him to go back to sleep and he had a splitting headache. All he wanted was to stop travelling and have a real bed to sleep in.

"I'm sorry," she repeated.

"You should be," he snapped. "Get off at the next exit. We'll turn around and switch places."

"You shouldn't be driving," she said quietly, as she signalled and moved to the furthest right lane, preparing to exit.

"I'm better than you. If I had been driving we'd be there by now."

"Or we'd be dead on the side of the highway, seeing as you fell asleep somewhere between the beginning of the entrance ramp and the end."

He released an agitated sigh as he suppressed the urge to yell. "Just get off at the next exit."

"I will. But I'm not letting you drive."

"Fine."

They sat in uncomfortable silence as they slowly approached the next exit, Derek struggling to stay awake and Meredith tensely seated in driver's seat, her knuckles white as she clutched the wheel. She navigated off the highway and across the bridge to the entrance ramp on the other side.

The silence continued for several minutes before Derek's cell phone rang.

"Hello?" He answered after pulling it out of his pocket.

_"Derek? Was your plane late? We expected you here by now."_

"Natalie. We're, uh...going to be a little late. We missed an exit."

_"That shouldn't be that much of a delay-"_

"Look, we'll get there when we get there."

_"Geez, little brother. You're in a good mood."_

"Leave it alone, Nat."

_"What is the matter with you, Derek? It's Thanksgiving. That means you should be a little nicer to your family."_

He groaned in the back of his throat. "Natalie...I have to go. We'll be there eventually." He hung up and tossed his phone onto the floor by his feet.

Meredith glanced at him, obviously wondering about the short lived conversation. Derek simply stared ahead, saying nothing.

"If you just tell me there to turn off, you can go back to sleep," Meredith said quietly.

"Who knows where we'd end up if I went back to sleep."

She sniffed. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you've said that." He knew he was being harsh, but he couldn't help it. He turned his head away from her to look out his window.

After about forty-five minutes of painful silence, they reached the exit they should have used when passing it the other direction. Derek tersely directed Meredith off of the highway and onto the new one; the one that would take them within minutes of his mother's house.

"You can sleep now," she brought up the topic again once they were comfortably merged with the traffic. "I definitely know the exit now."

"I don't want to risk it," he said quietly, still not able to be nice, but no longer as angry. Part of him knew this really wasn't her fault, but the other part knew if she hadn't missed the exit, they would be at his mother's house and he could be asleep.

She sighed, her breath hitching ever so slightly. His heart clenched at the sound. She had packed for the both of them that morning, loaded the car and picked him up when he had gotten out of his emergency surgery. Then she had driven them to the airport, been stuck awake for the entire flight while he slept, and offered to drive them to his mother's house. And all of this on the few hours of sleep she had gotten in an on call room the night before.

He wanted to extend an olive branch, to say something nice. But the movement of the car and the blurring lights along the side of the highway were making his mind foggy. His eyes closed on their own volition, his head resting against the cold window. And then, despite his harsh words to his wife, he slept.

He awoke to the sound of a car door slamming, and barely had time to open his eyes and wonder where he was when his door was pulled open.

"We're here," Meredith said flatly, meeting his eyes, but not offering a smile or even a softer expression. A moment after the words were out of her mouth, she was gone, heading to the trunk for their bags, leaving Derek to grapple with his seatbelt as he struggled to make his fingers correspond to his brain's commands.

By the time he was on his feet, Meredith slammed the trunk shut and thrust the handle of his suitcase towards him.

"Meredith..." He started.

"I told you I could get us here," she stated flatly.

He reacted to her tone. "Obviously you couldn't, or we would have been here hours ago."

"It's not like you didn't sleep for most of the drive anyway. And the flight."

"Oh, so this is all my fault?"

"No, it isn't your fault," she snapped, stopping half way to the front door and turning to meet his eyes, hers angry despite the fact that they were filling with moisture. "But I was trying to do something nice for you, so I would appreciate just a freaking ounce of understanding for that. I'm tired too, Derek."

"Then you should have let me drive in the first place."

"I was trying to do something nice!" She repeated. "Both other times we've come out here _I _was the one who worked all night the night before and both times you've let me sleep all the way here. All I wanted to do was return the favour."

He opened his mouth to respond, only to be cut off when the front door opened. "Hey! I thought I heard a car," Kathleen called.

Meredith quickly wiped her face and turned to greet his oldest sister. "Hi Kath."

"Good to see you, Mer," she said, quickly hugging her sister-in-law. "Everything okay?"

"Fine. We're just tired."

Derek's heart fell at Meredith's quick dismissal. She sounded defeated, and he knew he had done that to her.

Kathleen gave him a look, but said nothing about it, instead hugging him. "I missed you, little brother."

"You too, Kath."

She quickly ushered them inside. "Mom and the kids went to bed hours ago," she explained. It was a little after one. "And you just missed the boys, but Nat and I are still up if you two want something to eat, or a drink." Mark was flying in the following day, and Anna and Nancy were driving in with their respective families.

"Just sleep," Derek quickly declined and turned for the back stairs that would take him up to his bedroom. After only a moment of delay, he heard Meredith follow.

Once in the quiet of his childhood bedroom, he pulled his toiletries bag from his suit case and headed into the on-suite bathroom to brush his teeth. When he re-emerged, Meredith had changed into sweats and a tee-shirt and was standing awkwardly between the bed and the door.

He stripped down to his boxers and crawled into bed, but she didn't move. "Are you coming to bed?" He asked, not meaning for it to come out as harsh as it did, but also not making any effort to correct it.

She bit down onto her lower lip before sighing. "I, uh, think I'm going to sit with your sisters for a bit. Kathleen said something about a drink...and food. And food would be good because all I've had today was the plane food and...well, I could use something, so...yeah, I guess I'll go downstairs..."

Normally he loved it when she rambled, but not when it was like this; filled with nervousness directed towards him. He wanted to tell her to come to bed, that despite his exhaustion, he always slept better when she was next to him. But he could remember the sandwich she had had for him when she had picked him up at the hospital that morning after packing the car. He hadn't thought to ask at the time if she had gotten something for herself too.

He hadn't been the best husband today. But he vowed to be a better one tomorrow, after he had gotten some sleep.

"Okay," was all he could offer her now, sleep pulling at his mind.

"Okay," she echoed weakly, and the last thing he heard was the door shutting.

It was hours before he knew consciousness again. Dryness plagued his mouth and thirst pulled at his chest. Air travel was prone to dehydrating the body, and he couldn't remember having had anything to drink after he boarded the plane so many hours earlier. A glance to one side told him it was a little after four. A glance to the other side told him his wife hadn't come to bed yet.

It wasn't unheard of for his sisters to stay up all night catching up, so the idea that Meredith would join them wasn't out of the question. He groggily rolled out of bed and pulled an old tee out of his suitcase. He quietly made his way down the stairs and through the darkened living room to the kitchen.

The kitchen was dark too, but Derek knew it's every inch by heart. He walked right up to the fridge without the worry of walking into something, and pulled open the door. The light from the inside of the fridge stung at his eyes, but he managed to keep them open long enough to catch sight of a carton of orange juice.

Quickly pulling it from its perch on the top shelf, he opened the top and took several gulps right from the carton, smirking to himself at the knowledge that his mother would kill him if she knew.

It wasn't until his second set of gulps that he paused, lowering the carton. The living room had been dark and empty. His sisters and wife wouldn't have gone to the basement living room, as that would have woken the kids who slept down there. The logical assumption would be that his sisters had gone to bed.

But if that was the case, where was his wife?

A likely unnecessary jolt of panic gripped him, and he quickly returned the carton to the fridge. They'd had a fight, but she wouldn't have left. Sure they rarely fought, but she would know everything would be fine the next day. Right?

He swallowed hard as he realized just how horrible he had been to her. She had barely gotten an hour or two more sleep than he had in the forty-eight hours before their flight. She had gone home and packed and made sure to get him something to eat. She had let him sleep on the plane. She had let him sleep in the car, wanting to surprise him. Yes, she should have woken him for directions, but he had never said it was okay, despite the number of times she had apologized. And when they had arrived, after he had slept again, he hadn't had one nice thing to say to her. He hadn't said thank-you. He hadn't said sorry or that she was forgiven. He hadn't even told her he loved her or goodnight before he had fallen asleep.

With a heavy sigh, Derek padded out of the kitchen and across the still-dark living room to the front hall. One glance out the window by the front door made his heart beat just a bit easier. It wasn't that he actually thought she would have left, but the sight of their rental car still sitting exactly where she had parked it in his mother's driveway allowed him to dismiss the thought completely.

He wondered if she had taken refuge in a spare bedroom as he wandered back into the living room.

It was then that he caught sight of his wife, fast asleep on the short couch to his right, covered only by a small, thin blanket that, despite the fact that her knees were curled up close to her chest, came up several inches short of her feet.

"Oh, Mer," he murmured, kneeling on the floor beside her, his fingers running through her hair. "I'm so sorry." During the very rare occasions they had fought, it had never lasted long at all. Neither of them had _ever_ spent the night out of the bed; not apart at least.

He pushed his arm under her shoulders, planning to carry her up to bed, only for her to jolt awake her hands grasping onto this other arm as she looked around in panic.

"Hey," he soothed quietly. "It's just me."

The panic fell away from her eyes, only to be replaced with apprehension, and she released his arm.

"What are you doing down here?"

"Sleeping," she mumbled, slowly sitting up, her knees still pressed into her chest in a stance he knew meant she was protecting herself.

"Yeah, I see that." He cocked his head. "Why didn't you come back upstairs?"

Her eyes left his. "I wasn't sure if you wanted me there."

"Hey," he murmured, his hand reaching to cup her cheek, bringing her gaze back to his, as he ignored how cool her skin felt. "I always want you with me, Mer. _Always_. I don't sleep well without you in our bed."

She allowed the contact, but didn't lean into his hand like she usually would. "But it's not ours."

He furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"

"This isn't like at home. This isn't our house. And upstairs isn't our room and our bed. It's _your_ childhood home. And your room. And your bed."

With a sigh, Derek pushed himself off the cold ground and sat beside his wife on the couch. "You belong here, Mer. Everyone loves you. Everyone thinks of you as family."

"I know," she said quietly. "But it's still your room and your stuff. And I didn't know..."

"I always want you, Meredith," he repeated, wrapping his arms around her cool body, smiling to himself when she leaned into his chest. "You're freezing."

She sniffed. "Not anymore."

He pressed his lips against her forehead. "Nothing is just mine anymore," he whispered into her hair. "Everything is ours. It may be my childhood room, but now it's our room, okay? Just as much as our room at home. You have just as much right to be there as me, even if I'm being a jackass."

"I deserved it."

"No, you didn't." He kissed her head again. "You were trying to do something nice. And after all the things you did for me yesterday, I should have recognized that. I should have either given you better instructions or not fallen asleep."

"I could have just woken you."

He sighed. "You could have. And you did once you got as far as you thought you should have gone. You didn't deserve the way I treated you."

"You were exhausted."

"That's no excuse for the way I treated you. You were exhausted too."

"Thank-you," she whispered, leaning more into him. She already felt warmer.

He smiled. "Now, if you're determined to sleep down here, that's fine, but I'm staying with you. Or, we can both go upstairs to _our_ room and sleep in _our_ bed, which is much more comfortable and much warmer than the couch..."

She chuckled and turned her head to meet his eyes. "Warmer is good."

He pecked her lips and stood, pulling her off the couch beside him. With an arm wrapped around her middle to keep her close, Derek led them both upstairs to the warm of their bedroom. He didn't even let go of her while they crawled into bed, Meredith settling in front of him as he spooned tightly against her.

"I'm sorry I was a bad husband today," he whispered into the darkness surrounding them.

"You're never a bad husband," she returned immediately, and the integrity of her voice made his heart skip a beat because she believed it.

"Well, sometimes I could be nicer."

She shrugged before snuggling even closer. "I'm not perfect either, Derek."

"Yeah, you really are," he murmured into her hair. "I wouldn't change a thing."

"Not even my navigational skills?"

He chuckled. "Well, maybe I'd tweak them just a bit. But nothing else."

"I love you, Derek."

He closed his eyes. "I love you too."

And they both slept.


	17. Thanksgiving Part 3

_**AN: I know that I suck for the extremely long delay...but in my defence a hell of a lot of crap has been going on. AND I updated ALL THREE of my stories at once, AND posted a new oneshot.**_

With a deep breath and a slow release, Derek awoke to the faint smell of lavender. Meredith was still wrapped tightly in his arms, mumbling softly in her sleep. Sighing contentedly, Derek shifted closer against her and buried his nose in her hair. Her mumbling turned into a groan as she too found herself awake.

"Nooo..." she whined. "Sleep."

Derek chuckled. "Nooo...awake," he echoed.

She huffed.

"We should get up soon," he whispered into the back of her head.

"What time is it?"

"Late. Maybe even early if it's the afternoon. It's pretty bright out." It was bright in the room, lit by the sun coming through the window, but not in the way that the sunlight streams through windows while the sun is rising.

She sighed before turning in his arms and tucking her chin into the crook of his neck. "It's so comfy here."

He hugged her to him, his hand running up and down her spine. "I'm sorry about last night," he whispered. Finding her asleep on the couch had nearly broken his heart.

"We already talked about it..." She mumbled.

"I know." Derek sighed, closing his eyes and revelling in having her so close. He had been so horrible to her the day before, and yet she had forgiven him so quickly and so easily; there was no awkwardness, no passive-aggressive 'forgiveness' and no holding anything over his head. She had an amazing heart, and he knew just how lucky he was to have her. "I'm still sorry."

"It's fine," she muttered.

He nudged her back, giving his lips access to the sensitive skin of her neck. "But I was mean to you," he mumbled between kisses. "I need to make it up to you." He pressed against her, pushing her onto her back and settling partially over her, his knee pushed up between her legs.

"Derek..." Her fingers wove through his hair as she moaned his name.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, grazing his teeth along her collar bone. "I owe you."

She pulled at his hair, forcing his head up. "You have nothing to make up for."

He smirked, his lips only inches from hers. "So...you want me to stop?"

"Don't you dare," she growled, her fingers tightening in his hair once more and pulling his lips to hers.

He kissed her hard before pulling back. "Are you sure you don't want me to stop?" He taunted.

"Oh, for..." She pressed her hands against his chest, forcing him to roll onto his back as she settled on top of him, her arms cradled around his head. "Do you want me to stop?" She mocked.

His laughter was cut off by her lips crashing down on his. He really was a lucky man.

**

"Aunt Meredith!" A tiny voice called out as a small dark haired girl hurried towards them the moment they entered the living room.

"Megan!" Meredith greeted, reaching her arms out and scooping the young girl up into a hug.

Derek smiled as he watched his wife interact with his young niece. Only a year before Meredith had been hesitant about how to act around his many nieces and nephews. His oldest sister Kathleen's youngest two girls, Megan and Stephanie, however, had taken a special liking to Meredith.

"I missed you, Aunt Meredith! I tried 'ta stay up last night, but I falled asleep waiting!"

"We got in really late," Meredith explained.

Megan nodded emphatically. "I wanted to wake you up this morning, but mommy and gramma said to let you sleep because you was tired."

"Your mommy and grandma are smart people," Derek said, wanting to enforce the fact that the kids were not to come into their room in the morning. That could end badly, and he definitely didn't want his wife placing a sex ban again.

Megan giggled. "That's because they're girls! And girls are smarter than boys!"

"That's right," Meredith agreed with a laugh.

Derek rolled his eyes, but didn't bother to argue. He never won in his mother's house. Too many girls. "Hey, doesn't your favourite uncle even get a hug?" Megan was still in Meredith's arms, her legs around her waist, seemingly happy and not making any move to greet Derek.

Megan giggled again and reached an arm towards him. "I missed you too, Uncle Derek!"

Derek scooped the girl from Meredith's arms and pressed a kiss against her cheek. "I get that you like Aunt Meredith better than me now, but I still need my Megan-hug."

"Okay, Uncle Derek. Here's a big hug, just for you," she whispered, wrapping her small arms around his neck and squeezing tight.

Derek hugged her back and smiled at the look on his wife's face. Megan hadn't argued when he had said she liked Meredith better than him. And that fact hadn't gotten past Meredith, whose eyes had suddenly developed the slight sheen they got every time she realized she was part of a family now.

He released his niece and set her on her own feet before hooking an arm around Meredith. "Where are your cousins?"

"Aunt Natalie went shopping and took Stephanie and Laura," she explained. Laura was one of Natalie's many children, and was only a week older than Stephanie. "Everyone else in downstairs. Andrew got a Wii for his birthday, so we're playing," she continued, referring to her older brother.

"And where are your parents?"

Megan shrugged. "Mommy's in the kit-chen with gram. Daddy is down stairs with Uncle Phil playin' with us."

Derek felt his stomach growl at the mention of lunch. He hadn't eaten since before the plane ride, extra-long drive to his mother's from the airport and extended sleep. "Lunch sounds good."

"Mmm-hmm," Meredith agreed.

Megan giggled. "How can you have lunch, when you haven't even had breakfast?"

Derek chuckled. "Good point." He glanced towards his wife and raised an eyebrow. "I guess we have to have breakfast at lunch time, and lunch at dinner time."

"Then when will we have dinner?" Meredith returned smoothly.

He pretended to consider the question before pursing his lips and turning his head back towards his niece, who was still in his arms, her eyes almost at his eye level as she continued to laugh. "I'm not sure. What do you think, Megan?"

"You don't get dinner!" She exclaimed, full of giggles.

"No dinner?" He asked, pretending to be concerned. "But we can have dessert, right?"

The little girl shook her head, curls bouncing everywhere. "Nope. Cause you don't get dessert unless you eat all your dinner."

"Well, that doesn't seem fair," Meredith commented. "We really like dessert."

Megan continued to giggle. "Not unless you eat your dinner!"

Meredith shrugged. "I guess we'll just have to eat lunch _and_ dinner at the same time."

"That seems like a lot of food," Derek commented. "We might be too full for dessert."

Meredith played along, nodding. "That would defeat the whole purpose."

He shrugged. "We'll just have to sneak our dessert."

Megan gasped. "You can't do that! I'm gonna tell!"

"What?" He pretended to be shocked. "No! You can't do that!"

"We trusted you!" Meredith added.

Megan shook her head, her eyes wide and face red from her laughter.

Meredith glanced both ways suspiciously before leaning in close to Megan and whispering, "What if we sneak you some extra dessert?"

The young girl paused, her eyes wide as she contemplated the bribe for a long moment. And then she shook her head emphatically. "No! It's against the rules!"

Meredith shook her head and met Derek's eyes. "I don't know what we should do. The girl's obviously going to talk..."

Derek smirked. "I know what to do." He shifted so one arm was securely around his niece, and then he attacked her side with his free hand.

Megan shrieked as he tickled her. "No! Uncle Derek, no!"

He paused, fingers poised above her ribs. "Are you going to help us?"

She hesitated. "No, but-"

"But nothing," he said playfully, resuming his tickling.

She shrieked again. "No! Aunt Meredith!" She cried, reaching a hand towards her as she tried to fend off Derek with the other. "Help me!"

Meredith stepped close, reaching an arm around the girl as if she was going to pull her away from Derek, but then started tickling her as well.

Megan started laughing hysterically. "No! It's not fair!"

"Ah-hem," sounded from the doorway across the living room.

Derek stopped tickling his niece and looked up to find his oldest sister standing in the doorway, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. "Are you trying to kill my child?"

Megan nodded emphatically. "Yes! Mommy, help!" She struggled, and Derek set her down, laughing as she ran to her mother. "Mommy, you saved me. They were tickling me 'ta death!"

Kathleen sent her brother a look. "Why were they tickling you, sweetie?"

"Cause they was planning on not eating dinner and sneaking dessert!" Megan exclaimed before turning and sticking her tongue out at her aunt and uncle.

Derek laughed. "Careful," he warned. "You mommy can't protect you all the time."

Megan shrieked, which turned into a giggle as she turned and ran towards the stairs that would take her back down to her siblings and cousins.

"Trying to sneak desserts, huh?" Kathleen shook her head.

Derek rolled his eyes. "I don't even eat desserts."

Meredith giggled. "Sometimes you do."

"Only when you force me," he retorted, before turning back to his sister. "She force feeds me sugary crap. I swear I've gained ten pounds just since we got married."

Kathleen smirked. "I don't believe you baby brother, because where you may be getting a belly, Meredith looks exactly the same. Maybe you're the one with the problem."

Meredith laughed, reaching a hand out to pat his stomach. "Your sister has a point," she teased.

He scoffed and pulled away, leaving the two sisters-in-law laughing in the living room as he headed into the kitchen. Even though he knew they were toying with him, there was no use in arguing. He never won. Not here. And especially not since his sisters had absorbed his wife. Meredith took their side all the time.

"Look who's finally up," Carol called the moment he stepped into the kitchen. She stood and hugged him tight. "I was getting worried you two had disappeared or something."

"We didn't mean to sleep so long," he apologized. "It's just been a horrible week at the hospital. We were barely home let alone getting any sleep. It was just nice to be able to sleep without a pager interrupting constantly."

"I missed you."

He smiled. "I missed you too, mom."

She pulled back far enough to meet his eyes. "You're just saying that."

He chuckled and shrugged. "If you don't want me to say it anymore..."

"Oh, Derek," she swatted at him. "Be nice to your mother."

He kissed her cheek. "I love you, mom."

"That's better." She released him. "Where's my daughter-in-law?"

He rolled his eyes. "Great, even you like her more than me... She's in the living room, conspiring with Kathleen."

Carol smiled. "Are you hungry?"

"Starving."

"There's lasagne in the oven keeping warm."

Derek nodded, quickly pulling two plates out of the cupboard.

"How was your flight?"

He shrugged. "Okay, I think. I slept through most of it."

"You mean all of it," Meredith commented as she finally entered the kitchen. "You were asleep before we took off and I had to force you to wake up after we landed and people were already leaving the plane."

He shook his head and turned back to making plates for lunch as his wife greeted his mother.

"Meredith, dear, it's good to see you," Carol greeted, giving Meredith a warm hug.

Meredith hugged her back tightly. "You too, Carol. Sorry we were so late getting in last night."

"Yeah, mom, ask Meredith about her navigational skills," Derek spoke up, sending his wife a triumphant look as he finally had the upper hand in something.

Meredith rolled her eyes before sending him a playful glare. "I got us a little lost. But it wasn't my fault. They moved the exit!"

Derek chuckled as he set the lasagne back in the oven and brought the two plates over to the table. "The exit was in the same place. _You_ had the wrong highway."

"Whatever."

He set a plate in front of her and sat down in the next chair, sliding it close and playfully bumping his shoulder. The depth of the relationship that had developed between them still surprised him at times like this. They had both been tired and short with each other, and had fought the night before. But quick apologies and a short talk later they could joke about it. God, he loved her.

"So, anything new? How's the house coming?"

Derek shook his head. "It's a little behind."

"Derek keeps making design changes," Meredith piped up.

"_We_ have requested a few modifications, which is part of it. But the company we're using is having trouble getting some supplies. The supplier went out of business...or the supplier's supplied went out of business?" He shook his head. "Anyway, it's not ready yet."

"Will it be ready before Christmas?"

"Probably not," Meredith answered. "It will probably be the end of January before it's done, and then into February before it's painted and whatever."

"That's too bad. I didn't want you two spending the holidays in a trailer."

"We're barely home," Derek explained. "It's not a big deal."

"You know what I think you should do?"

"What's that?"

"Come here for Christmas. Spend it with your family."

He sighed. "Mom...we talked about this. We can't get the time off. Not after taking nearly two weeks in the summer _and _getting our friends time off to come here for the wedding _and_ coming here for Thanksgiving."

"But we're hoping to make it next year," Meredith added. "I'll have more seniority by then, so hopefully it'll be easier to get the time."

"That would be nice."

The door opened behind them and Kathleen walked back into the kitchen. "The boys may or may not be up soon. I swear...I thought getting the Wii for Andrew would be a good way to distract the kids. I never expected the men to like it even more." She collapsed onto one of the free chairs. "What are we talking about?"

"Derek and Meredith are coming next Christmas."

Derek rolled his eyes. "Hopefully. _Hopefully_ we're coming next Christmas. It depends on getting time off."

"Any other things?"

"Like what?"

His sister cocked her head ever so slightly and gave him a look. "_Things_."

"Again, what kind of things?" He glanced at Meredith, who looked just as confused as he felt.

"Well, you've been married for five months now. Are we going to be hearing a pitter-patter soon?"

As much as the question made his heart jump – because he was married to an amazing woman the quest was a valid one because kids were now a definite part of their future – Derek had to roll his eyes at his sister. He and Meredith had agreed to wait until they had been married a year. After all they had gone through, they needed some time to be happy and free of extra responsibilities. But his wife spoke up before he could get any words out.

"Are we going to be hearing what?"

Kathleen huffed. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. Have you talked about it yet?"

"Talked about what!" Meredith returned. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Derek had to bite back a laugh at the lost expression on Meredith's face. She really had no idea what Kathleen was asking.

Kathleen paused before leaning in conspiratorially. "Is there a reason you're playing dumb?" She asked, a hint of excitement in her voice.

"She's not playing dumb," Derek interjected before the situation got out of hand. He laughed as Meredith sent his a confused look. "She really has no idea what you're talking about." He leaned over to kiss her cheek. "She's probably never heard the term."

"What term? Seriously. What are we talking about?" She demanded now that Derek was placating her.

"Babies," Kathleen said simply. "When are you going to have babies?"

"When we're- wait. How the hell does 'pitter-patter' translate into babies?"

"'The pitter-patter of little feet.'"

Meredith scrunched up her face. "That's stupid. Babies don't even walk."

Derek had to laugh at the absurdity of the conversation. He looped an arm around his wife's waist and pulled her to lean into him. "It's a stupid expression," he agreed.

"So," Kathleen prompted, her mother looking on with interest. "When?"

"Not yet," Derek explained.

Kathleen exhaled and sat back in her chair.

"But one day," Meredith added, causing Derek to only smile wider.

This seemed to appease Carol and Kathleen.

"The lasagne is really good, Carol," Meredith spoke up quietly after a short pause, as if feeling the need to say something.

"Just watch your desserts when they're finished," Kathleen spoke up. "I have it on good authority they're planning on sneaking desserts."

Carol sent Derek a questioning look.

Derek sighed and rolled his eyes. "It's a long story..."


	18. Thanksgiving Part 4

Meredith furrowed her brow as she flipped through the many pages of notes in her hands. She glanced down at the shopping cart she was pushing along with her abdomen and steering with her elbows, as her hands were occupied with the pages, and sighed heavily. "Derek, there's no way in hell that we're going to be able to fit all of these things into one cart."

Derek offered her a wry smile as he set a handful of cans into the cart. "We'll make it all fit."

"There's like a thousand items on these lists. Seriously, how are we supposed to eat this much?"

He smirked. "You could probably manage by yourself."

She dropped one hand to the handle of the cart and used it to swing the front of the cart towards her husband, catching him in the leg as he yelped and jumped out of the way. "Mean, mean woman," he muttered.

"I'm the mean one? You were making fun of me."

He rolled his eyes in good humour, before stepping carefully around the cart and snaking his arms around her waist. "I'm sorry I made fun of you," he mumbled, pressing his lips to the side of her head. "You're eating habits are perfectly normal, and I have never witnessed you eat an ounce more than a normal person."

It was her turn to roll her eyes, at the sheer sarcasm in his tone. "You're still being mean to me."

He chuckled and kissed the side of her head again. "I love you."

This time she smiled. "I love you too. But I still don't know how we're going to get through this list, let alone how we're supposed to eat this much food tomorrow." Meredith and Derek had been volunteered to complete the last of the Thanksgiving shopping.

"The food does have to feed twenty-six people," he reminded. Carol, her five kids, five kids-in-law, fourteen grandkids and Mark.

"True."

With one last kiss, this time against the side of her neck, Derek released his wife. "We should get started on the list," he stated, "If we want to get back to mom's before it gets dark."

Meredith giggled. It was only four in the afternoon. "Okay, I'll keep pushing. You get the food." She passed the many pages of lists into his hands.

"How very helpful of you."

"You and I both know if you gave me half the list, it would take longer than if you just do it all yourself."

He smirked. "True."

She made a face, but couldn't hide her smile for long. "Just...get shopping."

"Yes, dear," he said quickly, turning back towards the many items on the shelves beside the cart, and leaving his wife rolling her eyes.

Meredith sent him a look as he turned back to her, placing a second handful of cans into the cart. He simply offered her a smile and turned away once again.

She followed him down the aisle, and back up the next one, and then back down the one after, as he slowly checked off the many items on their seemingly never ending list. Cans. Bottles. Boxes. Cartons and jugs, of juice and milk. Bread. Breakfast foods. Lunch foods. Candy. Chips. Other snack foods. Butter. Bagels. Cream cheese. Fruits and vegetables – some of which she didn't know the names of. Spices – most of which she didn't know the names of. Pies. Ice cream. And more. The cart slowly filled.

"I know how much you hate to be wrong," she spoke up, "But I have to point out that the cart is almost overflowing. Are you still sure it's all going to fit?"

"I'm sure," he returned. "Just one more thing. Why don't you go get in line? I'll be right there."

"Sounds good to me. I hate shopping," she muttered.

"I don't normally like it either."

"Normally?"

He leaned close to kiss her cheek. "I like doing anything with you."

Meredith smiled as she felt her heart flutter as the quiet, honest comment. "I guess shopping is pretty okay with you."

"Good to know." He smiled. "I'll meet you at the cash."

"Okay." Meredith turned and slowly pushed the heavy cart towards the front of the store. There were three check outs open, and she chose the one to the far right, hoping it would be the quickest. Carefully steering the very full cart, she stopped it behind the mother and daughter standing on either side of the cart in front of her. The mother, who looked a little over sixty, gave her a long, questioning glance, before turning her attention back to her adult daughter. The two seemed to be contemplating whether they had everything they needed. Both looked frustrated, but Meredith guessed that was a part of shopping on a holiday weekend.

Meredith yawned and leaned forward, resting her arms on the push bar of the cart, settling for a long wait. The store was busy, the employees frazzled and the lines long, but it was nice to be doing something so...perfectly normal. She was across the country, spending the holidays with her in laws, and was out getting groceries with her husband.

Definitely not something she had ever foreseen herself doing, and definitely not something she had ever foreseen herself enjoying, but something she wouldn't change for the world.

The line gradually moved forward. She was now three carts away from the cash. The mother and daughter in line in front of her seemed to realize they had forgotten something. The mother headed back into the aisles, leaving the daughter protecting their place in line.

A warm hand landed on her back and she smiled as Derek's arm looped around her back. With his free hand, he dropped the last item into the front of the cart.

She glanced down at the new box and rolled her eyes. "Glow in the dark? Seriously?"

He chuckled. "They were the only ones left."

"I so don't believe you."

"You know me so well."

"Did you have to get such a big box?" She asked. "I know we have more sex than most people, but how are we supposed to go through that many at your mother's house?"

"That was the only size box they had left. And this time I'm telling the truth."

"We have to hide them," she hissed. "If your family sees us coming home with a massive box of glow in the dark condoms I don't think I'll ever be able to look them in the eye again."

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her. "Me neither."

She opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off.

"Derek? Derek Shepherd?" Asked the mother who had returned to the cart in front of theirs.

Derek released his wife and turned to face the older woman.

"You don't recognize me, do you?"

He paused before slowly nodding. "Mrs. Napier?"

She smiled. "You do remember me. And my daughter, Melody?"

Derek nodded. "Of course. It's nice to see you both again." He extended his hand to them both.

"And this is my wife, Meredith," he introduced. "The Napiers live a few blocks away from Mom."

"It's nice to meet you," Meredith offered, also shaking their hands.

"I'm glad to see you back on the east coast, Derek," Mrs. Napier continued. "I know your mother was just beside herself when you moved to Seattle." The way she said the word 'Seattle' with such distaste told Meredith and Derek exactly how she felt about their home city.

"Not back for good," he said carefully. "We're just visiting for Thanksgiving."

"I hear from your mother that you're very successful, Derek. I'm sure you could get a job here."

Derek hooked his arm around Meredith's waste. "We're happy in Seattle. It has ferry boats."

Thrown off by Derek's comment, Mrs. Napier pasted a smile on her face and moved on. "I heard what happened between Addison and Mark Sloan. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I guess I can't say you couldn't see it coming, what with what that man did to my Melody." She wrapped an arm tightly around her daughter, who looked upset by the mention.

"Hmm, it all worked out for the best," Derek responded, surprised to realize it was a topic he hadn't thought about in quite some time. "Everyone is happy now."

"That's very big of you, Derek."

The line was slowly moving forward, and Melody began placing items on the sales counter.

"So, Meredith, what do you do?"

"I'm a surgeon," she responded.

"Ah, you two must have met at work."

She nodded. "Yes, we did."

"Well, good for you," she stated, in a tone that was full of judgement.

Derek took a breath, before turning to the as of yet mute woman. "And Melody, what are you up to now?"

"Oh, my Melody is married to a very wonderful man," Mrs. Napier said before her daughter could speak up. "He's a very successful businessman. And they have two beautiful children."

"That's nice," Derek said, addressing Melody again. "What are their names?"

"Nicolas and Lillian-"

"After me; isn't that nice?" Mrs. Napier cut in again.

"Very nice," Derek responded. "How old are they?"

"Nicolas is ten and Lillian is eight."

"Isn't it nice? Melody met Nathanial in college. He is so successful; there was just no reason for Melody to work. He takes such good care of them, that all Melody has to focus on is raising those two perfect children."

"That's...nice," Derek managed to say with a straight face.

Beside him, Meredith was fighting not to make a face.

"Isn't it just?"

"Okay," was about all Derek could come up with to say.

"Mom," Melody said with a huff. "We have to pay. We only have the nanny for another hour."

"Of course, sweetie," she responded, reaching into her overpriced purse for her equally overpriced wallet, from which she pulled out a credit card.

"It's been very nice catching up, Derek," she offered after she had handed her credit card over to the cashier with a huff and a 'took long enough.'

"Oh, you too," Derek responded. "And you too, Melody. Nice to see you."

With a smile and a nod, Melody began pushing the cart towards the exit, her mother hurrying after her.

"I guess I don't get a goodbye..." Meredith stammered.

Derek laughed. "I don't think you fit into her mould of a proper woman."

"Because I have a job?"

"That and because you have aspirations..."

She laughed as they loaded the many, many contents of their cart onto the conveyor belt. "What exactly did Mark do to Melody?"

Derek scoffed. "They dated for about a month in high school. She was...probably a sophomore when we were seniors. Mark dumped her for a junior. They were both on the cheerleading squad. It was this whole big thing..."

She kept laughing. "And they're still holding a grudge? After all this time?"

He shrugged. "Mark comes from wealthy parents. It was devastating to Lillian when he and Melody didn't stay together through high school and get married."

"I don't get it."

"Neither do I. But it worked out well for us. Lillian refused to come to any parties when she knew Mark was going to be there. Needless to say Mark was forced to attend every single party."

"At least he's good for something."

This time Derek laughed. "I'll have to tell him that."

"I don't think I've ever thought this before, but I would take my mother over that woman..."

"And that's saying something."

She nodded. "It is. I'm sorry you had to grow up near that woman."

"My mom can't stand her. She raised us all to be independent; to have dreams. Lillian raised her kids to be co-dependent." The cart was almost empty. Derek moved to the contents they had placed in the top basket of the cart by the handle. "Shit."

"What?"

He turned to her, a small box in his hands. "We just had that conversation with a giant box of glow in the dark condoms right on the top of the cart..."

She fought back a laugh. "That's a little embarrassing." She reached out and smacked him. "Why did you have to get the freaking glow in the dark ones?"

"I happen to like the glow in the dark ones."

She shook her head. "I know you do..."

He made a face. "I love you."

Meredith giggled. "You're pathetic. But I love you too."

**

An hour later they were home and the seemingly infinite number of grocery bags were unpacked. Meredith had gone back out to the car to sneak their 'private' bag up to hers and Derek's room. On her way back down the stairs, she paused by the door of the bathroom. The door was open a few inches, and it sounded like someone was sick.

Worried it was one of the kids, she cautiously pushed open the door. On the other side, Natalie was just moving to the sink, a look of displeasure on her face.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Meredith apologized. "I heard...I just wanted to make sure everything was okay."

"It's okay," Natalie said after she had rinsed her mouth.

"Are you sick? Do want something?"

"No, thanks. It'll fade. They should call it 'afternoon sickness,' not morning sickness."

With a wave of understanding, Meredith stood shocked. She had no idea what to say.

Natalie offered her a smile. "Don't tell anyone. Phil and I want to announce it at dinner tomorrow."

"Congratulations," Meredith offered.

"Thank-you, Meredith. We keep thinking we're done, but as soon as our youngest starts to look less like a baby we end up saying 'one more.'"

Meredith smiled. "Carol will be ecstatic."

Natalie laughed. "She will. She and Aunt Joyce have been tied for nearly a year." Carol and her sister had a friendly competition about the number of grandkids they each had. "Though I think this baby will actually be our last. It took over a year for me to get pregnant." She smiled sadly before turning to Meredith. "It'll be up to you and Derek next."

"Oh, I...uh, yeah."

"That didn't sound very convincing. You two are planning on having kids, right?"

"Yeah, we are," she responded. "Just not right away. We agreed to wait until we had been married for a year before talking about it seriously. And even then I'll still be a resident."

Natalie waved a hand. "You can't think about that. I was barely a resident when I started having kids. It makes your life more complicated compared to the single, childless residents beside you, but it makes your life so much better. It doesn't matter what you do for a living, Mer, kids are always going to be a complication, and it will always seem like a bad time. But they're a good complication. And the time will never feel better until you have them."

Meredith smiled at her sister-in-law. "I really think I'm starting to believe that."

"Good. And you know we're all going to be there for you when you do start having babies."

She nodded. "Yeah, I...know."

"That didn't sound very convincing."

"I'm convinced," Meredith assured her sister-in-law. "I just... It's strange sometimes to say it out loud. This whole getting married and having babies and being part of a family thing is still new."

"You've been married for a while now," Natalie pointed out.

"Five months."

Natalie made a face. "Hmm. It seems like longer. Just goes to show you, though..."

"Goes to show you what?"

Natalie smiled at her sister-in-law. "How well you fit in."

"Oh..." Was all she could come up with to say. Having never been part of a family before, Meredith didn't know what to say in these kinds of situations.

"Why are we hiding in the bathroom?" Derek's voice broke the moment as he stepped into the bathroom with his wife and sister.

"_We_ were trying to get some privacy," Natalie stated. "_You_ are being nosey."

Derek rolled his eyes. "Good to see you too, Nat." He had gone to bed the night before without greeting anyone other than Kathleen, who had met them at the door. And by the time he and Meredith had gotten up that morning, Natalie had been out shopping.

She matched his eye roll, but stepped forward to hug him. "I missed you, baby brother."

With a sigh at the term that he had long since resigned himself to knowing would never go away, Derek kissed his sister on the cheek and released her. "I missed you too, Nat."

"You wouldn't miss me so much if you moved back to New York."

Derek huffed. "Nat..."

"Come on, baby brother. We miss you." She turned her attention to Meredith. "You like it here, right? Your family is here now. Help me convince him. You too belong in New York with us, not all the way across the country."

Caught off guard, Meredith opened her mouth, but found no words on the tip of her tongue.

"Give it up, Nat. We're happy in Seattle." He hooked an arm around Meredith. "It's our _home._"

"But it's so far away. I don't like seeing you so rarely."

Derek smirked. "You could always move to Seattle."

Natalie rolled her eyes. "We're New Yorkers, Derek. What is the matter with you?"

"Me? What's the matter with you? I've been in Seattle for two and a half years. Why are you suddenly so upset?"

Natalie sniffed. "I just miss my brother, okay? Why do you have to be so difficult?" She demanded, before rushing out of the bathroom and leaving Meredith and Derek staring after her.

"Oh-kay..." Derek mumbled, before turning to his wife and raising an eyebrow. "Any idea what that was about?"

"Probably h-" Meredith cut herself off before she uttered the word 'hormones.' She had made her sister-in-law a promise. "I don't know. She probably just misses you."

He pursed his lips. "Do you know something?"

"What? I... What could I know? I don't know anything." She winced, knowing she had been far too defensive. Derek could read her like a book when she had her lie prepared.

He shuffled close to her, his hands seeking out her hips as he dipped his head, pressing several kisses up the side of her neck, before whispering in her ear, "What do you know?"

"I don't know anything."

"Liar," he whispered in her ear, his breath hot against her skin.

"I...can't say anything."

He pushed her back against the wall and pressed against her. "Tell me."

"No. I don't know anything..."

His lips found the side of her neck again. "Tell me," he repeated, "And I'll make it worth your while..."

With heat rising in her body, Meredith buried her fingers in his hair. "Derek..."

His hand found the hem of her shirt and moved upwards.

Her skin tingled at the contact as his hand moved higher, higher, higher. His hand found her breast and she moaned.

"Tell me," he repeated, sucking on the skin at the crook of her neck.

"Tell you...what?" She asked, barely able to form coherent thoughts.

He lifted his head to meet her eyes. His were dark with desire. "You have a secret. I want to know what it is..."

"Secret..." She murmured, the ability to think finally coming back to her. "I can't tell you-" She was cut off by his lips crashing down on hers. His other hand reached under her shirt as well, settling along her side.

Meredith lifted one leg and hooked her foot around his leg, wanting him as close to her as possible. He responded with a moan, and pressed her harder against the wall. Both were so caught up in each other that they didn't hear the footsteps in the hallway.

"Whoa!" A male voice called from the doorway.

Derek pulled back immediately, snatching his hands out from under Meredith's shirt.

"I...sorry," Spencer, Derek's brother-in-law, stammered from the doorway. "Long drive...I just needed to use the bathroom, but clearly...clearly you need it more..." And then he was gone.

"Oh, God," Meredith whispered, burying her face into Derek's chest. "We just...oh, God."

He closed his arms around her, breathing hard. "It's okay."

"What if that had been one of the kids?" She asked, raising her head.

He made a face. "Then we'd have a lot of explaining to do. And angry parents."

She groaned. "I can't believe he caught us..."

"Just be glad he didn't come in a few minutes later," he said with a smirk.

"This is not funny, Derek!" She hissed. "We were just...in your mother's bathroom!"

"We're newlyweds. It's expected."

She huffed. "Is he going to tell anyone?"

"He probably already has."

She buried her face in her hands. "This is bad."

He pulled her hands from her face and pressed his forehead against hers. "You think this is bad for you? I can't even go out there yet..."

She giggled as she realized his predicament.

"Oh, so you think this is funny?"

"A little," she admitted. "But you have to hurry up and...you know. Because I am not going out there by myself."

"We could just sneak upstairs..."

She pulled back and swatted him across the chest. "Are you insane? Three of your sisters are now here. And your mother. And the kids."

"So? It's not like they think we don't have sex."

"But it's the middle of the freaking day."

"I repeat; we're newlyweds."

"I repeat; you're insane."

He chuckled. "We could try out the glow in the dark condoms..."

"Shut up about the stupid glow in the dark condoms. You're lucky I even let you buy them. And if you want to ever use them, you're waiting until tonight."

He kissed her cheek. "Yes, dear."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Why do I put up with you?"

He smirked. "Because I'm dreamy."

She couldn't help but laugh at him. "And entertaining."

It was his turn to laugh. "That's what I'm here for."


End file.
